Destination wedding-Hawaii

 Chippy had her wedding in Key Largo.  It was actually pretty well attended given that the families and friends were spread out pretty well (NJ, MN, DC, etc).  Plus, most people had to fly into Ft. Lauderdale or Miami and then drive down to the keys.  I am sure she will be able to give you plenty of details. 

Got married 11 years ago this Saturday in Kauai. We found a wedding coordinator online who turned out to be the best thing we could have hoped for. He and his wife took care of everything so we really only had to show up. They were awesome. So much so that friends that were there used them three years later when they got married. We had our ceremony in Princeville overlooking Hanalei Bay at sunset with 16 family and friends. That worked out well too. When we wanted to play with friends, they were there and when we didn't, they went off and did their own thing.

Kauai was great. More rural than many of the other islands and very green. Lots of great restaurants and things to do outdoors.

Let me know if you want the coordinator's name. I don't remember it but I'm sure my wife does.

Enjoy

Jeff

If you choose Hawaii, make sure you look beyond Oahu and Waikiki. It is a nice place to visit and still beautiful, but there is more to the state with less congestion elsewhere.

Good luck and Congrats.

Congratulations! 

We did Italy, not Hawaii, but I can give you some general DW advice.

We are so glad we did a DW rather than a traditional, local wedding.  It was awesome!  We had 15 people total, including us, and because of that, we were able to do a really special sit down dinner after the ceremony.  We were able to spend a boatload of money per person on the dinner (b/c our party was 15 instead of 150-250 people), which resulted in a beautiful, intimate dinner party on a covered balcony overlooking the mountainous Amalfi Coast at sunset.  It was an atmosphere that needed no centerpieces!  I think the dinner was about six courses, hands down the best food any of the 15 of us has ever eaten, and we had some real foodies in our party.  It was cooked by an older Italian woman who now does private dinners and cooking classes, and in her younger years was a private chef who cooked for some old school movie stars, Jackie Kennedy, and other famous and wealthy people visiting the coast.  The food was so fantastic that by the end of the dinner, I had to have the corset top of my dress unzipped and loosened up as far as the ties would allow!

Anyway, back to DW advice:

1) Keep in mind that whatever dress you pick out, you are going to have to carry it through at least two airports and plead to have it hung up in the staff closet or the first class closet on the plane(s) on your trip there.  The lighter and less bulky your dress, the easier this will be, and the more likely you are to convince them to hang it in their closet instead of making you stuff it in an overhead compartment. 

2) It is necessary to have somewhat of a laissez-faire attitiude.  You will still have to do a lot of planning and research, but unlike a local wedding, you have to be the type of person who can let go of the little details and not care if your napkins are white vs champagne, about the style of your chairs, or the exact color of your flowers.  You can't manage that stuff from a distance, so don't even try, or you will drive yourself nuts.  If you want flowers, order "flowers" and be happy to be happy with whatever flowers show up, or shop for them yourself at a local flower shop that morning, and know you'll be happy with whatever is available fresh that day.  Those sorts of things will be the difference b/w a nervous breakdown and a really fun time.

3) Don't overplan your guests time.  Let them know in advance that your wedding will take up "x time on x day, with a group dinner the evening before", or whatever it is that you plan.  Everyone came to that location for your wedding, but most will probably also make that trip their annual vacation, so don't take up too much of their time or too many days with your events. 

4) Hire a photographer, b/c your friends and family who don't attend the wedding will want to see pictures, but don't stress too much about it, and don't pay too much for it either.  (See #2.)  If available, I would highly recommend a photographer who will take photos for x hours, then pick out the good ones and assemble them for you in a nice album.  Do your research and look at his/her portfolio and have a discussion about the type of photos/look you would like.  But again, see #2, and trust that the photographer can select pictures and put together as good or better of an album than you could...with a lot less stress and work on your part...and it will be a lot faster w/o waiting your input...which will greatly please Grandma, who couldn't travel to the wedding. 

5) Go to your nearest bulk store (Sam's Club, Costco, etc) and buy four of the largest bulk packages of Tums or Rolaids available!  Seriously, though, it was a great time, but I had a really tough two weeks prior to leaving for our trip.  There are just a lot of last minute things to do when you are incorporating a wedding into a long vacation.  (Part of that was my own situation though and may not apply to you:  The way dates worked out for us, my husband was away for about 8 days in the two weeks prior to our flight out, then we had the wedding of his best friend ,about two hours away, the Friday - Sunday before our Monday afternoon flight out for our two week trip.  Not a recommended schedule of events.)

6) Tripadvisor, tripadvisor, tripadvisor.  It was a lifesaver for recommendations, advice, research, and planning.

It will be a blast!  (...as long as you heed #2)

I did a destination wedding in Cozumel, Mexico. It was perfect. Found a hotel with an area right next to the ocean, but cemented (I had a full dress on- bought it with the thought that I was having a traditional wedding in town).

The hotel had a wedding package and planner. I paid for that and my planning was done. I really didn't care about all the stupid details. It was just us and 10 other people. We had a basic ceremony with a judge presiding... some horrible wedding cake and then we went to dinner in town (our treat). Our hair was done by the local salon and they did a great job. OH! And I traveled with silk flowers as my arrangement. Since I had already put money down on my flowers for a local wedding, we just switched it to silk ones so I wouldn't lose my deposit.

Back then (1999) it was $450 PP- flight, hotel, food for 4 days. I used the money I would have spent on a traditional wedding on family members who couldn't afford the trip, to come along.

It was a great trip and everyone enjoyed the vacation!



Edited by KSH 2009-07-07 10:14 AM

A co-worker's son had a destination wedding with immediate family only in the Bahamas and it was really nice.  They are planning a reception for this month locally.  Their one comment was they were REALLY glad they got a good wedding coordinator as they couldn't go there to set it up. 

My advice would be keep the arrangements as simple as possible and delegate as much as you can to people you trust. 

I'm sure it will be wonderful

Congratulations!  I'm still planning my destination wedding for this fall in Playa del Carmen, Mexico.  The biggest lessons I can think of off of the top of my head so far are:

1.  People are going to complain, bellyache and make comments, often times not directly to you though.  Having your parents or another advocate in the family to talk up the wedding in a positive way is a HUGE help.  My mother did it on my side of the family and now most of them are coming.  My fiancee's family had no one like that and it is only her mother and grandmother coming at the moment.  We feel like we're fighting the tide over there.

2.  If you can, visit the places you are thinking of and see if you can try their food.  Twice, before we chose the place that we did, we were convinced that we had "the place" and ended up not really liking either one.  The joke is that both are VERY well reviewed and respected by people on websites like bestdestinationwedding.com.  They just didn't suit us though.

3.  Having someone you can rely on in the area helping with the preparations makes life so much easier.  Ours happens to be at the resort and she is a godsend. 

4.  Remember, the wedding is about and for you two.  You are never going to please everyone.

Best of luck with everything!  We terribly wanted a Hawaiin wedding but most of our family is on the east coast so we picked an area we still loved a little closer to home.

I grew up on Kauai and my family still lives there. Just got back from my sisters wedding and it was perfect. She used the wedding planner at the location and the woman handled everything. Here's the link: http://www.waimea-plantation.com/weddings.php

They got married under an enormous Banyan tree with the ocean behind them and it was so lovely. Nicest place I've seen on the island for a wedding.

I was trying to insert a picture - no luck - but I'll add it to my album.


Edited by KauaiShan 2009-07-07 8:24 PM

We had our wedding on Oahu somewhere between Diamond Head and Waikiki beach. It was actually on the beach with Diamond Head in the background (free and very romantic venue). The reception was at one of the Thai restaurants and since we only had few guests it was really reasonable. We sent many invitations, but realistically, who will fly to Hawaii to attend a wedding?