Making new friends as a triathlete in a new city

maybe try a tri club or running club.. find a cycling club..

I agree, find a club.  I'm making all sorts of new friends with mine.  I joined last September and while it's taken some time to work my way in (I think they thought I might disappear at first) but now I feel like these are people I can really call on if I need someone.  The people you meet may or may not all be your age but some of my dearest friends are 10 or more years older than I am. 

I agree. Even in my early twenties, some of my closest friends were 10 years older then I. I was never into the bar/party scene.

I also agree on finding a club. I joined a local tri club when we moved to a new state and have made some really great friends through it.

Just moved to Ga from NC and jumped in on group rides with the local bike store.  Met folks of all ages.  Good luck.  Offer to buy first round and that will get you a few.

Does the tri club have any social events? Sometimes a particular clique can take over certain trainings.

Look into local cycling (noncompetitive) clubs, and I'm sure there are many running clubs of all levels.

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

VOLUNTEER at local races or for a nonprofit or charity that's athletics-associated.

X2 While most clubs have those unwritten rules and attitude toward newbies, open events such as races are more fond for anyone to blend in. You could twirl your way around more with others.

X2 While most clubs have those unwritten rules and attitude toward newbies, open events such as races are more fond for anyone to blend in. You could twirl your way around more with others.

I think with clubs, you have to keep showing up for a few weeks before they decide to let you into their "group." That is what CoSkiGirl was talking about. So go to the club rides/runs every week and see if you notice a change after 2 or 3 weeks. Basically, they want to see if you are worth making the investment in getting to know socially, or if you're just going to stop coming.

x2 on introducing yourself at races, but maybe AFTER the race would be my suggestion (some people are serious about their pre-race zen time).

I met one of my best girlfriends at my local tri. She got 1st place in our age group and I congratulated her at the awards ceremony, we got to talking, and ended up training and hanging out together nonstop for the next year (until she moved away ). At the time, she had just moved to the area and was looking to meet people as well.

Agree with this - I started running with a local running store and even though we were in an organized clinic it takes a few weeks to sort out who's going to be consistently there, who you can pace with and then it brings in the more social element to see who you actually might get along with!

Keep at it - moving all by yourself is hard. I always tell people it can take 6 months or more to feel settled but it will happen.

Like I said, you've got to make them want to invest their time and energy in getting to know you.  Honestly, I do the same thing.  New people show up to our Saturday group and while I'll chat a bit with them I'm not going to become best buddies with them until they come regularly for a few weeks.  One thing that our Saturday only runners (free) may not realize is that we have a paid training group during the week so most of us do at least 3 of our runs together every week so we have invested significant time in the group.  When I joined the group last year it took a couple of weeks for me to start chatting more with other people.  The coach hung with me on the runs so I got know her fast (she was pregnant and slowing down) but the others took awhile.  Then I stopped coming to the Saturday group because my ski coaching started up for the season.  Why I reappeared for my one weekend off during the ski season I think people realized that I really was a part of the group and I just couldn't be there right now.  Thankfully our spring training started in March and I've been friends with everyone since.  But, just in the last month or so have I gained the invitation to events outside of our run groups. 

Yep. I used to be super welcoming/chatty  at most of my activities and regular classes. I found that I enjoyed hanging with my friends who came regularly (and who I only saw at these meetings) more than being extra nice and spending the extra time with people who just showed up once and never came to another meeting. Selfish - yeah, but the people who do come back 2 or 3 times are in like Flynn with any of my groups. And this applies to my tri group, kickboxing, cycling, sewing and knitting groups. It just takes a bit of time and effort on the new person's part. You'll get there.

Young adults group at church.

Kevin

I think it’s important to find out as much as you can about the club. Of the five or six tri clubs in NYC, some are MUCH more competitive than others. That’s not to say that there aren’t elite-level athletes in every club, but some are much more about an association of like-minded people for mutual support and social interaction, while others are much more heavily focused on training and winning as a group (There’s one or two that remind me a little of the Cobra Kai, but that’s just me…)

Those more competitive teams are more likely to freeze you out until you demonstrate that you’re a) committed to showing up and training, and b) that you possess some ability and aren’t going to cross the line DFL wearing the team colors.