How to Pi$$ Me Off On A Training Ride

Ok, can I say it....time to drop the loathsome training partner of yours.  Personally I would be better of riding alone if I were you.  I"m glad that you had a ride back, sounds like a really bad situation when your wheels won't turn, yikes!!

Take the 3 day shop for getting your bike back, much better than 2 weeks.  Run/swim/yoga, etc. during those 3 days and make up some of the bike time when you get the bike back.  Hopefully the shop won't charge you too much.  Good luck!!  Again, sorry you had a crap ass ride today.

I keep reading about your training partner, and frankly, I don't know why you train with him, as it seems to me all the benefits are on his side not on yours.  I haven't read one word from you about him that is positive.  So... 

Maybe there's a bike club in your area?  Group rides are always a good way to go.  As a single person who is a woman and who rides alone all the time (there is no hubby to help me out if I get stuck somewhere) just be prepared.  Take pepper spray.  Take your cell phone.  If you do get stuck somewhere, plan an escape route (just in case, I've never needed it, but...)  I'm more afraid of a big dog taking me out than a person.  Oh, you can also plan routes that go where the bikers go.  If you are stuck, there will be someone who will stop and help you out (a member of the cycling brotherhood, I've found that people are really helpful for the most part.)  I'd suggest if you can't walk in your bike shoes, that you stuff a pair of sandals or something into your bike bag.

BTW, you are NOT dog slow on the bike.  You are actually medium fast (you're faster than I am, for example) but remember, you are comparing yourself to triathletes, who are REALLY fast - as compared to the general population.  13-15 mph would get you into the moderate paced group rides out here in CA, anyway.

IMO, the looking at the chain thing is a guy response.  Even if you're telling them the situation, they still want to take a look, this to me, just sounds normal - but you were probably extremely frustrated at the time.

When I've done rides with faster people - it's either agreed upon that (a) I will keep up as long as I can, then I will continue my ride on my own (b) they will wait for me at pre-determined spots, and we will not continue until I have had a couple of minutes to catch my breath (c) they will do multiples of things I will do once.  (i.e. I climb the hill once while they go up, go down (saying hi on the way down) and go up again - 2x for them, 1x for me.)  or (d) I will take an alternate (easier/shorter) route and meet up with them a few miles down the road. There are ways to ride/run happily with faster people, you (and whoever you are training with) just need to be flexible.

I like riding with people or in a group. It usually pushes me harder than when I go by myself, and it improves my bike handling skills. However...my first rule of thumb is that I go with what my plan for that day is. If my plan calls for me to push hard, I try to stay with the front group. But if my plan is to do a recovery ride or slow ride, then I go my own pace and let the group do what they want. I realize that not everyone is on the same schedule as me.

If I had a riding partner that behaved the way yours did, it would be Solo-ville for me. Bicycling is supposed to be: first - fun, and second - great exercise. If my riding partner makes bicycling no fun, then Adios Amigo.

Don't worry about riding alone. Just make sure someone knows the route you are going to take. Take a cell phone and extra change, and carry an extra tube. Riding with others can be fun, but so can riding alone. Just my .02.

I would be super pi$$ed off at not only his comments but his lack of support when you had a problem. You have accomplished so much to transform you. I think you can tranform your feelings about riding by yourself. I used to be nervous riding by myself but no more. I always bring my cell phone and make sure I can reach someone. I am more nervous when I ride and my husband isn't home...but I know lots of people around who I could all...then I stay closer to home.  If you are riding where you see 30 others during a typical ride, don't you think one would stop and offer help if you had trouble...I think most other cyclists would. When I had a flat on busy road we had a biker stop and a car stop to offer assistance. I realize you are riding on more country roads.

When I ride with friends I try to establish some rules on how we are going to ride. The women I ride with, don't pace well with me so I ride and keep looking back for them and then every 10-15 minutes I'll stop and wait for them. I'd love to find a friend to ride that we are compatible in abilities but that hasn't happened yet. Most men ride faster than me and most women I know ride slower.

What about that awesome bike shop in Michigan that has the great website (michiganbikes.com?) ...it may not be close to you but may have more selection of bikes. My LBS where I bought my bike...if I bring it in when I have a problem and they fix it while I wait. Another bike shop that sponsors our Tri team does repairs while I wait as well. Once you buy your new bike that bike shop should help you when you have a repair that makes your bike unrideable quickly too. This is one consideration you should make when deciding which bike shop to buy from.

Sweetie ditch the training partner...until of course you are a fantastic cyclist and can blow him away   Get the bike fixed in 3 days and work on your run and swim.  Carry a cell phone and learn to change a tire when they fix your bike.  I ride by myself about 99% of the time.  I won't ride in the dark tho and most of the time I ride in my neighborhood with my cell phone and do a little loop a bunch of times. ( I have other reasons for doing this...mainly my goofy job and the fact that I need to be available and reacheable but anyway)  Its boring and tedious and I can't go real fast, but I am never more than 2 miles from my house, and although Florida drivers are in general horrible and don't use directional signals (esp if they are trying to find a *&^%$ yardsale) it is usually safer than being on the road where people are driving 50MPH. 

Also check out some trails that might be in your area that are closed to motorized traffic....Tell someone where you are going, that you have you cell phone and when to start getting worried about you.  I am single so no one is going to miss me if I don't come home....that is why I use that method...but it will probab;y make you feel better.  Hope this helps.....-SMO

Stay with the guys who take care of you. Period.  Even if they are going to take a little longer to get your bike ready to go, they will do it right, and just because the other place will do it faster, does not mean they can do it better.

Partner-a person who takes part in an undertaking with another. . .  You don't have a partner, you have a loser.  Dump him.  Hope he isn't family and you will have to deal with him at reunions or something

I just wanted to throw one more "drop that a$$wipe training partner of yours" into the fray.  MY question is, if he's jerk enough to behave that way toward you, WHY are you still hanging around him after 24+ years of that??? Just a thought I had.

Ditto what everyone else has said regarding cell phones, pepper spray, mace, etc.  Although I think your best bet is your local tri club or bike club.  You aren't as slow as you think you are and I think you will find some really GREAT people to ride with .  I don't know that pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone as far as riding alone will be necessary when that happens.  Good luck!

Okay, I'm hijacking here...

I do.  Cause I know that I'm not fast.  So, if I can go on a bike ride with someone and ride away from them, I feel good, cause I can really see that all this training HAS made a difference.  When hanging around with people who do IM's in under 12 hours or Oly's in under 2.5 hours (and these are really nice people, BTW), I feel like my accomplishments aren't really worth a whole lot.  They are a LOT for me, but in comparison to a lot of triathletes, let's just say they are not so great.   So, patronizing to you maybe, but not to me.  It's a perspective thing I think.

Anyway, I believe you took my comment completely out of context.

I was not saying that someone should not try to get faster, do better, etc.  Just that she is not as slow as she thinks she is (i.e. there are probably group rides in her area that would fit her current speed.)  Was not talking about "general population" as in, "general population who have not ridden a bike for umpteen years", but "general population" as in "the general population of people who ride bikes."   I ride about 11-12 mph avg right now, and I can ride with the slow group on group rides.  So, since she is faster than I am, I would think there would be a tri-group or a cycle club group ride pace that she could ride with and that would be her pace. 

Maybe DFL is your best.  Maybe that is flat out as fast as you can go.  And, it's not that you're not competitive, it's just that there's really no one as slow as you are to compete with.  I'll tell you that I'm out there racing, even if to you (or anyone else) it looks like I'm having a walk in the park.  My goal in triathlons right now is to do an Oly tri and NOT be DFL.  I can do it in a sprint, but not so far Olympic.  Yeah, I know I'm slow.  Yeah, I know why I'm slow too.  I know what I need to do to improve, but it sure is taking longer to get there than I thought it would.

You know what?  I AM doing more than the "general population" (general population here meaning those who do not compete in athletic events) even finishing DFL - and right now, I feel good about that, since I haven't been able to get moving fast enough to come in before another competitor.  I think goals are very individual things, based on what you can accomplish.  If I set my goal as "finish" and you set yours at "finish 1st in AG," there's nothing in there that says that my EFFORT is not equal to (or even higher) than yours, even though my SPEED is slower.  This is an assumption on your part.  Usually made by people who are naturally fast, and then can get faster, and have no concept of the person who really struggles for any increase in speed at all, and was not speedy to begin with.

This just hits a hot button for me... stupid threads I've read (on other boards admittedly, not this one) "why would anyone do a tri if they know they are slow" ... "why do people do it just to finish" etc. etc. 

This is why I like it here, cause everyone seems to accept and cheer on everybody else, no matter what their goals are.  I hope that doesn't start changing.

Cadreamer, I think there is some truth to what you are saying...for some of us who are NOT athletically inclined by genetics, upbringing or both, just being out there, finishing, NOT being DFL, is HUGE.  If you include yourself in that group (as I do) you DESERVE to pat yourself on the back for just being there. Your effort level probably DOES match or exceed that of a lot of other, more naturally talented people, because we have to work harder just to be on the playing field at all.    I don't think TripleThreat was trying to insinuate otherwise..

I really think the comparisons of "self vs. self" apply to us who are not genetically gifted.  I don't care if I can't catch a woman in my AG who has legs a foot longer than mine, who has naturally long (not bulky) muscles and who easily maintains a bodyfat below 17%.  But I DO care if I can't reach a realistic time goal on the bike, can't beat my own time from last year, etc etc.