Cheating bf & vacation (Page 2)

Very good!

I must say though, I understand where you're coming from, keeping the peace, money, etc.

However, he clearly did not want you back, he was still with this woman until she dumped him because you called and she found out what he was doing! When did he tell you that you could work it out on the trip? Last week when he was still with her?
Go if you must, but be strong and don't take him back. He is going to try to use you as his safety net now that she dumped him.

Honey, if you are post-high school, your easy days are over. FORGET about ever making good decisions based on what's EASY. That will never work. You'll just end up making lots of bad decisions because it's easy. Give up the idea that life will be easy and move onto the idea that  wise decisions are sometimes hard.

*coughcodependentcough*

Suckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So, you're saying she has more sense or pride or self-esteem than you do?

Sorry to be so harsh, but you've already gotten loads of excellent advice from your friends and your BT strangers. You don't want our advice, really.

What she said.

(I've been waiting for your reply Renee, I love the way you put things)

This is how a Vacation of a Lifetime becomes the Vacation You Wish You Could Forget...

Also known as How I Got Revenge On My Cheating Boyfriend By Being His Bellhop, Tour Guide and Easy Squeeze.

Ohhh...so true!

*Its my "agree with Renee day"...well, for now.

There you go Lane.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!  Oh... man... I think this qualifies as having 'balls' according to nccgrap's definition. Can't blame the boy for trying, feeble though his pathetic excuse is. He doesn't really think you're that stupid, does he?

"I had to cheat on you, Dear, before deciding if I could agree to not cheat on you forever."

Evidently it hasn't made a bit of difference since you're still going on vacation together.

What a clever ruse! Elicit sympathy then toss out the hook. Excellent strategy! I must write this down for future reference...

What Renee said. And this - I'm married, but if my hubby had said - before we got married - that "Honey, I love you, but I really don't know how much I love you. Instead of spending time with you, I've been sleeping around on you. But I still have feelings for you, so now we can work it out, especially since you caught me with the girl" then that would have been it. DONE. Finished.

Go on the trip. Don't take him. He cheated on you. That comes with consequences - even if it means he loses a vacation and some money and what was a good relationship until he destroyed it. It's his turn to suck it up and at least start pretending to act grown up about the situation.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You should have used this disclaimer in your original post:

Please only offer advice that I want to hear. I'm having trouble drowning out the good advice of my friends, people who know me and I need to hear what I want to hear, not what I need to hear.

Let me try again:

Lauren, clearly your boyfriend is a liar and cheat, dishonest and untrustworthy. This, however, is no reason not to travel to a foreign land with him, remain in close quarters, tote his luggage around, and deal with the stress of being in an unfamiliar land with unfamiliar customs and people while also dealing with the heartbreak of him trying to ruin your vacation. It is no reason to break up with him. In fact, the only reason to break up with him would be if he made things less than easy for you, or if he stopped paying for vacations.

That is because the only encouraging thing about your current situation is that you get to shed a loser and a liar. A commitment is a commitment - the fact that you weren't married has nothing to do with it. you were betrayed and lied two and possibly more (I'd be on the phone with my GP right about now to get checked out for STD's - condoms don't protect you from orally transmitted diseases).

You really want to go. I understand. But it is not the right thing for you to do (at least with him). Betrayal is betrayal whether it's recognized by your state or not. Married, not married, that's sophistry and an excuse. This man does not value you and I wonder if you value yourself. Where is your self respect? If he did really care about you, and felt the need to test the waters, he could have stoned up, told you how he was feeling and tried a seperation, allowing you to have some control and input in the situation - instead he lied and cheated and got caught, maintaining control as best he could and at the same time robbing you of control. He's doing it now. If you stay with him, or even go on this vacation with him with so many unresolved issues, not only will he NEVER respect you (he already doesn't, but that is another issue), but you will not respect yourself. When the vacation is over, it's gone. You loss of self respect will take some time to heal, if it ever does.

If you don't make a decision to value yourself, you will start to think you deserve this treatment and it will never end, with this BF or another. Sometimes you can't get what you want. I'm sorry to say this, but you need to grow up. Now would be a good time to start.

THAT is why he is King of COJ.