Father's Day Help

Your wife is crazy.

(how'd I do?)

I'm sorry to hear that.  Last year was my first without my father.  

Please be sensitive to their desire to please you on father's day.  Yes, you see them every day and do things with them every day.  This is their opportunity to do something for you.  You may not like runny eggs and burnt bacon, but them doing that for you may mean a lot to them.  (It's a little like my boys wanting me to play basketball with them...I can go out and toss the ball towards the hoop and they like the effort even though I'm not skilled at all.  This can be age-dependent...

You can expect to be disappointed in the meal if she doesn't feel you're supporting her desire to do something with her dad.  How much time you get for yourself can be negotiated, and the right answer is somewhere between the two proposals on the table right now.  

Since this is such a well-rounded opinionated group, I thought I would gather my appropriate research and present my arguement to her.  Of course, if the results don't go my way this thread will never see the light of day in my house. 

All I want is some pizza.

FTW.

I'm not a parent for FWIW, maybe spend 1/2 day with the kids, 1/2 day by yourself with your wife visits her dad and step-dad with the kids.  What did you do before your dad died?  Maybe ask for a pass this year on making the in-law rounds given your recent loss?

Go Jo!!! 

She can take your kids to visit her dad and stepdad (they aren't YOUR father) and you ride your bicycle.  Everyone wins, right?  

Take with a grain of salt as I'm not a father and I couldn't imagine forcing my husband to see my father on Father's Day.

Sorry to hear of your loss.  This will be my 12th year as a father and 10th year since my father passed.  Personally, I would ride in the morning and would to use the time to think of my Dad (usually I think of Dad most when I go fishing).  When I get home, I would let them set the schedule - let the kids have their father's day.  I would also spend the time with your father-in-law and step-father-in-law - there are no days off from supporting your spouse.

If I were in your shoes I would follow what ^^^^^ says.  

Growing up we always spent the day with both maternal and paternal grandparents.  My dad probably wanted to watch trains enter and leave the city but he understood that his kids needed to be able dote on him on at least this one day of the year.  He never wanted a big hubbub made about him and spending time with his parents took some of that away.  It was a way for him to see his dad too.  Going to my mom's side meant that he was honoring my mom's dad and, in a way, thanking him for her.  

Forward to being a parent, and we had different views.  I wanted to teach the kids that today was the one day they could focus just on Dad (besdies his birthday--which was right before Christmas).  Admittedly it was selfish on my part because I wanted to be treated like a princess for a day on Mother's Day too!  This year I hope the kids (now grown) will at least call their dad on Father's Day but there are a lot of hurt feelings and confusion about the way they were raised and things that have happened.  Even though we are divorced I may send him a card to thank him for helping me to raise 4 wonderfully fine young men! My way of honoring him and his role as a father.

I love this post and hypothetically if I were a parent I would subscribe to this philosophy.

My Dad's parents are deceased and my Mom's live a 3-hour drive away. They spend every Fathers and Mothers day with my Mom's parents as there probably aren't many left. I can't remember the last Fathers/Mothers day they stayed in town. I really admire this selfless thinking and always leave something nice at their house for when they get home. 

I say give up the golf, have a nice breakfast with your family, then take your bike with you when you go with your wife to support HER responsibilities on Fathers' Day, and ride home. My guess is ypu'll get far more points oit of that scenario (exchanged or golf time on another day) than any further negotiations will garner you.

This is my favorite response in this thread! 

And yet another reason why I love my husband :-)

I feel like there should be a compromise between taking the whole day for yourself and doing nothing of what "you want" all day. From reading this post it is interesting because Father's Day is about more than you, as a Father, I'd never really thought about it. It's also about your kids getting to enjoy some time showing you their love (although they should do that every day of the year :-D) and it's about showing appreciation to the father's in your life, whether that be your own or your wife's.

This was my first (biological) mother's day and I found it a nice compromise that we took my mother-in-law to church and out to brunch and then we had the afternoon to do what I wanted.  (My mother is about 2K miles away...)