Cleaning your bike when you live in an apartment

It seems you would be OK using either the balcony (if you have one), the bathroom (if it's big enough) or the kitchen (where the floor is likely to be some easily cleaned surface, not hardwood or carpeting). Or do you access to the roof of your building?

I clean mine at the car wash.  The pressurized hose is good for getting grit and grease off the chain and components.  If one is nearby, ride to it with a dry off towel and chain lubricant.  Thats what I do.  If I can ride in the rain, I can wash bike at carwash.

The problem is that the pressurized water can get into bearings and wash off grease where it is needed, causing problems where you won't see it unless you take apart the cassettes, headest, and bottom brackets. I would put the water in a bucket and use that.

I clean mine in the bathtub or the sink.

I start by removing the wheels, and cleaning them and the cassette. Sometimes, I remove the chain and clean it with some degreaser, if it isn't too dirty, I just leave it on the frame. I flip the bike over and clean the rest of it without the wheels on.

After I am done, I have to clean my whole bathroom or kitchen, so I try to clean the bike on housecleaning days.

Noob question, what do you all use to clean the bike and how often?

All these answers benefit me too since I also live in an apartment.

Well I have a way to clean my bike but here are some thoughts.

Poorboys spary and wipe

It's made to water less wash cars and I use it to get the dust and stuff off the bike.

degreaser and cloth(there are already several suggestions on this)

I you Zanio's CS clear sealent my bike has a matte finish so the wipe on no buffing makes it look great. 

Here's a recent thread on that topic. And here's a video on how to clean the chain. Cleaning a drive train should be weekly to monthly.  You can use a citrus based  cleaner and some brushes or a chain cleaning tool, then re-lube with chain lube. Also do this after riding in rain.  Monthly to semiannually clean the whole bike with some mild grease cutting detergent and rinse.  I do more, basically a full cleaning every week, including Armor All or Formula 303 on the tires, but I love my bike. 

Yup, Simple Green diluted with water and towels. I would use a spray bottle though to spray it down real good, otherwise when you wipe you'll be scraping dirt on your paint. Easy to do, as you can get away with diluting the Simple Green something crazy like 1:10 or 1:15 and it's still very effective.

Thanks.  I try to be carful, but really I should take your advice next time.