Something thoughtful for co-worker battling cancer - ideas?

housecleaning service - maybe while she is at the hospital/clinic so they are not around when she is home feeling blah.  how close are you?  i have gone over and cleaned friends' houses myself in similar circumstances.

(this is me assuming she goes somewhere for IV treatment)

does she need rides to the doctor? 

She is a very private person. Even a former co-worker who has been friends with her outside of work for ~20 years told me today she has never set foot in her house. Whenever they meet up she will meet the person outside and has never had the friend inside the house.

So, wouldn't feel comfortable offering to come inside to clean. And not sure she would accept someone else (stranger) coming in, either. 

The friend told me she is driving herself to her appointments but not sure if she will be able to continue that. And that she can't get out of the house very often, other than to get to the doctor appointments.

It all depends on the person and your relationship with that person. Like I said in TAN I sent out flowers today and she loved them and really appreciated the thought that I was thinking about her.

We've heard flowers are not a good idea for cancer patients partially because the chemo makes you uber sensitive to smells, and it's one more thing to "take care of" when you have no energy. Plus they die

letters??  cards??  from individuals, to keep her updated on life at the office?  and so that they keep coming all summer long. 

a lot of times when someone is sick or goes through something traumatic they get a LOT of support/gifts/thoughts at the beginning but as time goes on they get...forgotten.  make an effort to contact her regularly.

letters allow it to be personal, but still respect her privacy, and don't force her to respond.  but if they cheer her up, then she can always go back to them.

maybe a magazine subscription...for the boredom factor...

Yes the die part is sad. Like I said it matters for the person. My friend just had surgery last weekend so she is at the house but hasn't started chemo yet so I knew she is not having aversions to smells yet.

For someone you don’t know that well or what they like or dislike I would say a card is the safe bet if you want to send something.

I volunteer on the Oncology floors at a hospital here, and from my experiences, I would avoid flowers and food. This hospital actually prohibits flower deliveries to Oncology patients bc their immune systems are compromised. I wouldn't give any sort of food bc you don't know what her stomach is going to be able to handle, also chemo can cause throat and mouth issues: Sores, trouble eating/swallowing, dry mouth.

How religious is this co-worker or how confortable are you giving a religious gift? (Speaking as a Catholic) You can offer a Mass intention for that person and maybe other faiths have something similar? I think magazines (doesn't have to be a new subscription - do you have any old People mags or Us Weeklys?)or a blanket. The people I interact with also love Livestrong stuff - bracelets, shirts, etc.

Do you have access to a loved one that can tell you what they really want/need?

This would be too tough for me to want to infer...

One thing that can bring joy/hope to one person could be the thing that serves as a painful reminder of what they have to put on hold in life to another.

My friend went through this process when she was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma.  We put together a care package for her.  We included: 

Aloe Lip Care Treatment - She kept telling us how chapped her lips got during chemo.  Found out pure aloe was the best.  

Elta Lite Skin Cream - Helped lock the moisture in her skin.  Chemo seemed to make her skin scaly. 

Head Scarves - She has the biggest personality, so we all found the funkiest prints we could find!  

Non Metallic Deodorant - Didn't interfere with radiation treatments.  

Elta Sunblock

I reached out today to the former co-worker/friend I mentioned above and they are going to lunch together next week - she's going to try to get some ideas. Good point.

A Hulu or Netflix subscription would be nice if I were stuck on the couch - but that depends on if she's into TV and movies. Along similar lines, gift cards to something like Barnes and Noble for books and stuff. 

Those are fairly impersonal, but practical and useful.

My friend is going through her 2nd round of chemo now too, plus has had some surgeries related to the cancer. She has a really hard time asking for/admitting she might need help, so I just got kind of bossy and said, "I'm doing this for you." We weren't too close before it all started, but now she opens up to me a lot more than she does to other people. Sometimes just sticking your foot in the door helps open it up.

She mentioned to me when she 1st started chemo that all she wanted was root beer popcicles and she couldn't find them anywhere. I found a recipe and a popcicle mold, went to visit her with all the ingredients and a copy of the recipe, and made the 1st batch for her. Now she has everything she needs to easily make more and I know she's used it a lot.

Another thing that I've really tried to do is get together with her and talk about things *other* than her cancer. She has felt like people see her as Cancer Girl and didn't pay any attention to her as a person. Sometimes I bring her some silly thing like a wind-up toy or a goofy hat that reminded me of her to make her laugh.

My mom is going through chemo right now and it's a tough situation ... (my mom is stage 1 and her prognosis is excellent) but I puzzled over these same things since I don't live close by.

We bought her a supperworks package that was delivered and she put all the food in the freezer and it comes with instructions for re-heating.  It was pricey but her immune system is down and needs to eat well. My dad is great but he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy and they would live on pork chops and baked potatoes - if not the McD's nightly meal.  But it also meant that they don't have to worry about the grocery shopping and such as much either.

I did think about getting her an e-reader since her treatments are 6 hours at a time and having something loaded with reading materials would be good but haven't up to this point.

My mom also mentions that she's most comfortable in her bed - and in clothes without seams (she also had surgery so i am not sure if that's specific to her surgery or the chemo but they mention deep bone aches) but things like comfy blankets, pillows and soft comfy clothes might be worthwhile.

It is a lovely idea and i hope you come up with something. I am sure she'll be touched by the gesture ...

I think the video is a great idea -- we made one for one of my coworkers (who is also a very close friend) when she took a few weeks of leave in her mother's final days. We made up a goofy song and dance routine about how much we missed her, and we also filmed any personal messages people wanted to give. She said it was one of the best things she received during that time because it made her laugh when everything really sucked.

Just continue to be yourself.  Don't treat your friend any different than you did before you knew.    Try to provide as much "normalcy" that you can.      It makes a difference.