Subject: RE: College football drawing near...It's over clowns
I'm sorry. The Vols are just one strip club away from probation. Or was that arkan-noles-a'bama? Oh, I forget. Here's the likely scenario: - JoPa retires from Penn State, and NO ONE wants that job. Fastest way to get fired is to follow a legend. JoPa lands at Fox TV, replacing Pat Summerall on the 'I'm not senile' announcing team. - Spurrier throws his visor during a scrimmage and injures a player. In the resulting lawsuit, Spurrier is sentenced to 3-6 years OR having to coach the 'Noles for a season. Bobby Bowden won't agree to this 'cause he's not a Bowden, so he adopts his longtime nemesis and names him 'assistant head coach', and makes him change his name to 'Bobby Bowden Jr.'. Salary: $16 million per. It works for them all. - In a stunning coup, the Noles resurrects Chris Rix for another season of eligibility with the NCAA's permission. View the petition here. http://www.petitiononline.com/varoommm/petition.html This is solely to allow him to continue to further his NCAA best 5 losses to the same team in one career. True to form, Rix loses again to Miami, placing him at a career 0-6 vs the GMAT-canes. - The 'Canes lose to Furman or Florida Atlantic in the first non-conference game. Howard Schnellenberger comes out of retirement requiring all the canes to grow giant moustaches. Cane players all end up at Georgia Southern 'cause it better suits their ability to roll. But the 'canes still pound the noles on 14 Sebastian Jankowski beers. I mean field goals. Now THAT ought to get things rolling. Edited by rkreuser 2005-07-31 7:53 PM
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