Girlfriends/Boyfriends and Their Affect On Training

It's not really any different than having a "night owl" and a "lark"; or varying work schedules.  I tend to be a night owl by nature, while mrs gearboy is much more of a morning person.  Plus her work schedule has her leaving for work 3-4 days a week by 5 am.  So she is often in bed before 10 pm.  I tend to stay up, in part to make sure the kids are in bed at a reasonable hour (but soon the youngest is off to college, hurray!).

Anyway, my point is you learn to adjust.  If you are commited to the relationship, there will be a lot of bigger problems than mistmatched sleep.  As for having some pizza, you just have to plan better for it.

Good question. The answer is compromise (no surprise, but easier said than done).

I'm taking a break from the dating scene.  I got the tri bug just this year from a woman I dated earlier in the season, and I now have big plans for a monster tri season next year.  However, this year, I'm focusing on my season's planned goals for marathons, and am simply starting to incorporate biking and swimming into my training (my swimming blows right now!!).  Given those current priorities (and that choice is mine alone), I know I'm not currently in a responsible position to add a new relationship into the mix.

When the time is right, I'll "get back out there", and in the meantime, I wouldn't pass up a promising relationship opportunity if it presents itself, but for now - I'm done seeking.

It boils down to your priorities, and how much you are willing to compromise.  Definitely not easy, and I'm jealous of those who can balance it all.  Hopefully, as my training comfort-level improves & settles down more comfortably, and I can reign in my time and focus a bit and that'll free me up more.

Cheers, Chris 

i coach my g/f, the two of us are on WILDLY diff schedules, she is a morning person, i tend to start my days training in the middle of the day and go into the venings,

you work it out, you dont have to match schedules with someone.

GF and BF are going to demand more time due to the insecurity of not being married, after marrrage, they want you out of the house as much as possible, or at least in my experience.

x2 - You are so right!!!

lmao!

yea my gf is my training czar. =/ she makes me wake up early, makes me run, makes me go far in distances and makes all my muscles sore...

maybe we have been going out too long, but it sounds more like we are married..........

love being with each other, but deff both need our space as well.

x2... If my gf hadn't started dragging me out running a year ago I would have never even contemplated trying a tri (did my first one today) Helps that we are both morning people as well

Married with 2 children here, it is my "me" time.  Gets me out of the house and keeps them living.   Go pound the asphalt rather than them.

Kidding, all though I have made several runs in a pissed off mood and came home cleansed.

I had to build my running schedule around my family life.  The family knows what my schedule is.  weekdays after work and then I get up early on the weekends to run while they are still sleeping.  I spend as much time as I can with them once I am done training in the evening.

Well, my boyfriend do not live together. So that helps.

But we typically sleep over on the weekend. When there has been a night that I need uninterrupted sleep, I ask him to please stay at his place. He ALWAYS wakes me in the middle of the night. So I know if I need a solid night's rest, he has to go home.

If I bought a king sized bed it would fix that problem, but it's hard to justify spending $1500-$2000 for one night a week (his place one night, my place the other).

But yeah, there have been some nights that he kept waking me up and I finally just moved to the sofa so I could sleep.

PS- I would like to add that he is completely accommodating and understands when I need to get a good night's rest. He does tri's too... so he gets it.





Edited by KSH 2009-07-19 10:15 PM

Although I'm currently without a bf I've definitely worked through some of these issues at times. I really think that once you find the right person, a) you won't worry about it as much, and b) it really will work itself out. I've dated athletes and non athletes and actually the relationship that worked out best for me was with a non athlete who really respected and supported me.

As for the sleeping part, some people are easier to sleep with than others - if you happen to really like someone who you can't sleep well with, sometimes (like someone else said) hitting up the couch can be a good solution.

And as for managing kids, I can't even imagine. All of you triathletes who are married and have kids and superheroes to me - I hope to someday learn your secret!

It's not too hard to make it work.  If I am going to get up early, I get my clothes out the night before and set them in another room.  That way I can get up and change and not disturb my husband while he's still sleeping.  He tends to stay up and play video games using headphones so that I can get to sleep earlier.  Sleeping undisturbed doesn't happen whether you're an athlete or not.  It's something you learn to sleep through or you or the other person sometimes sleep on the couch.

Relationships are about compromise and communication.  We usually make a schedule for the week so we know what the other person is doing.  Plus, you don't have to do everything together.

As in any relationship where two people have different interests (which, I hope, would be all of them...you aren't a clone of your spouse, after all)....compromise.

you guys have time for relationships?

Weird.

x3, heh heh.  Seriously, my husband is very supportive, but is always singing "you're crazy" like today I did a 1:10 bike and said "Hon, I'm going out for a 45 minute run" (we are both working at home today)

Somehow it all just fits together.  Since we had the lark/owl thing going on before I was sucked into the vortex of triathlon, we were already there.....as a lot of times I'm done training before he awakes and get the me time I need, and as for bedtime, that's his alone time, the couple hours I head off before him.

Edited by travljini 2009-07-20 10:49 AM

My wife is getting in to doing Half Mary's now. That means she has worked up to running 3-4 times a week. She understands when I say I need to grab my wetsuit as soon as I get home and head to the lake. She often comes with and either paddles around with me or takes the dogs and lets them try to catch me (ok they just chase sticks). She is not always happy but it works. It does not help that she is a Teacher so has the summer off right now and does all of her workouts during the middle of the day. I get home and she is ready to do something like take the dogs for another walk, go for a hike, play outside etc...as she has usually been alone all day when I get home and just want some alone time to work out.

And our 2 dogs are almot as demanding as kids at this point with how much attention they need but I always make sure to play with them in the evenings, usually while my wife and I are watching the news after dinner/workout.

I have only been training for about a month now so time will only tell. GF already works weekend so that is not a big deal there. 

She did have two concerns, one was she already said I was too skinny, which I am not, I am technically over weight she just likes a heavier guy. I have lost 40lbs in just over a year and about 20 of that since I met her last august. Starting to swim again actually really tightened me up so even though I didn't lose any weight recently I look skinnier and she is "annoyed". I told here that I'd have to acutally up my calories and would probably not lose anyweight so that made her happy.

Also that I can't not work on her jeep engine swap since she wants it back (she blew the engine it wasn't elective surgery). But this is also benefiting her since I am not up early on weekends and not just goofing off around the house I am usually back from a ride or run and out the door to my office to work on her jeep by 10.  Plus when I get there I have already been up on a good exercise high and can get started right away..


So for those two things its actually helping us..

The only thing it seems to affect is days we see each other since the pool is only open 2 days a week. It's 40 miles between our houses and I'd have my dog with me so I can't go visit her on nights before I'd have to be at the pool in the morning. Even then it is not a big deal just had to rearrange our unofficial schedule.

I think my dog is more upset since we aren't doing as many hikes but I bring her to work with me 1 day a week and usually on the weekends when I go to work on my cars.  So I end up getting more time with her just maybe not doing what she wants to do but I am the boss aren't I?

My boyfriend and I are both triathletes training for HIMs, live only a mile away from each other, and STILL have trouble some weeks seeing each other as much as we want to.

It does come down to compromise. And prioritizing. And supporting each other.

As for nights when you really need un-interrupted sleep... I pop a sleeping pill or Tylenol PM. Just a half dose does the trick for me and as long as you do it sparingly, you shouldn't develop a habit.

Pretty much this AND we have 5 kids
I am a night owl and he is an early bird.  The only problem is that sometimes I would love to train in the morning but that is when he runs or goes to work crazy early - 4:30.  Even though our oldest is 16 the younger kids might come looking for us at 5am and I want one of us home.

As for sex if that is part of the issue -- we have madnatory sex nights   There are 2 nights a week we have sex no matter what (unless someone is sick or out of town) we both know this, look forward to it all day and it helps for sure.  There are no excuses like too tired, have work, etc. on these two nights.  Of course that is the bare minimum for us but no matter what else is going on in life we know those 2 nights are guaranteed.