Why Don't I Like It More?

Ride more and ride for fun.  Ride your bike for errands around town.  The more you ride, the more comfortable you'll get.

I can descend fast on straightaways, but I still am not comfortable on fast, twisty descents.  I swear I'm getting carpel-tunnel from squeezing my brakes so hard.  You're not alone.  Thankfully, most tri courses aren't that hilly.

That's the only problem with where I live and work - it's not very safe to bike-commute. Way too heavily trafficked. I would if I could, trust me. I've done it before when I lived places that were more bike-friendly.

I heartily agree with the idea of looking for fun rides.  I love to bike and I'm glad for that, but I can see how I'd really hate it if I had to use the trainer more.  I just decided to not really bike much over the winter and I'm no worse for it   When I ride now, I don't bother with intervals or whatever.  I just ride long distances and attack the occasional hill.  I spend time enjoying the scenery.  If you're in a busy area, I assume you often drive to your ride locations.  I hope you have access to somewhere pretty.

I know you've been fit to your bike, but I wonder if your bike is too big for you.    I suspect you feel a little out of control (thus making the hills scary, etc) and it's due to the bike being too large.  I went to several bike shops where they insisted on trying me on a 56 cm bike and it wasn't until I tried a much smaller bike that it CLICKED.   They would have done a professional fit on those bikes and worked like mad to ensure that I felt like I'd been "fit."  But if the bike itself doesn't fit, there's only so much to do. 

I also felt there was a magical place where going fast became easier than grinding away and going slower.  The momentum.  I know I need to work to get to that place in the early season.  For whatever reason going 15 mph just sucks more than flying along at 18-22.  Something to look forward to!?

Do you have your bike computer set to show your speed?  If so, try turning it off.  I have mine showing distance and cadence.  It really helps me not knowing how fast I'm going downhill.

I've tried not looking at it (flipping it around on teh handlebars or whatever), but it's a feeling that I get - I'll even look down and see that I wasn't really going THAT fast - but it sure as heck felt like I was.

I don't know what to do about it  I like going fast when I'm running. But fast cars and bikes scare me. Like I said, I feel really pathetic for being unreasonably afraid when it seems as though no one else really has that problem. It's bad - I mean, like I'll freeze up and have to get off my bike, on hills that to most people aren't really even hills. I can push 25mph on a flat (or a very slight descent) and be fine. But I don't know.  

Try getting a mtn bike and doing some trail rides, if you can. That will really build your bike handling skills and confidence. It will also get you more bike time while changing things up. I do more trail riding when the road rides start to feel too much like work.

On the road side, try finding some places to ride that offer things that will help out your issues. A bike path that you can safely practice the dismounting out of harms way. Find some short hills and do them repeatedly until you know every crack, turn and bump. Then do them faster and faster, going back up them would be a good workout too. Once you know these hills your confidence will grow and you can move up a notch to steeper/longer hills. Again find a place that is very safe to do these so you have less things to worry about. Drive to these places if you have to, even if it is a bit of a haul. Experience and confidence will really make a difference. Just take the small steps and build on the successes.

I've asked that to several different guys at a few different bike shops - all of them said 'no'.

I went to about 5 bike shops before I have my epiphany.  Everyone said 54 or 56.  Epiphany bike is a 52 cm road bike.  Fast forward 3 years and I'm riding a 49 cm tri bike.   Average bike shop dude doesn't necessarily understand petite woman triathlete.  I won't argue this point because I know it can be subjective, but I could consider at least trying out a small bike and see if you feel differently. 

No, you're not being coy - that's what I wonder, too, if there's something mentally wrong . If it's some sort of deep-seated fear that my neurotic mother or something instilled in me as a child (she wouldn't let me do gymnastics as a kid because she thought I'd break my neck, so god only knows what else she said to me). I don't remember being traumatized by speed as a child. If I'm driving on the interstate, I'll go 80 if I can, but if the road is super-curvy and such, I slow down a bit, and if I'm a passenger in a car with someone who's driving faster than they should, it makes me uneasy. It's much less noticeable as it is with the bike, but it's still there.

See, I know all of the technique things I'm SUPPOSED to do, but I can't actually get myself to DO them when it comes time to do so. I'm not even going ot bother buying a tri bike unless I become VERY good on the road bike - which could be never! I generally don't ride with people because I don't have anyone who rides at my speed, or is WILLING to ride at my speed. I'm not going to make my friends bag their workout, so they can watch me struggle up a slight incline at 12 mph. I go from 20 mph on a slight downhill to barely 12 on the tiniest incline. So I get dropped.

I'm on a tri team, but so far I haven't been able to make any of the outdoor group rides because it's either been raining, or I've had to be somewhere else, and over the winter it was just too damned cold.

I don't think some of you understand JUST how inconsistent I am with speed. The slightest incline kills me, like slows me down up to a 10mph-drop. I could never keep with with a bunch of roadies. And as far as I know there are no roadie groups around here that cater to newbies - even if they SAY they do, I've spoken to a few people who've rode with these groups who say it isn't true and that "no-drop" doesn't really mean "no-drop".