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Gift for someone who won't accept a gift?
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 2010-08-10 9:49 AM |
Champion  6656     |  Subject: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift?I've been working in a lab as a summer student and the woman doing her Masters has been awesome this summer. She has helped me out more than was necessary for her and I honestly wouldn't have been able to get as far as I did with my project without having her there. I want to get her a little gift and a card in thanks. Problem is someone else got her a gift certificate for a similar situation earlier in the summer and she said she couldn't accept it. She just wanted to keep everything as legit as possible. She is an MD from Romania, so I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not? She has a young son who is really quite bright (he is 5 and knows things about the periodic table, relationships between the sun/earth/moon, etc, etc). So I was thinking instead of getting her something, I would go and get him a fun book or something. She has mentioned throughout the summer that she feels guilty for doing her MSc. and not spending more time with him. So what do you all think? Good idea/bad idea? I'll write her up and nice card and write up a little card for her son with a small gift for him (something they can do together)...or just give her a card? Thanks for your input! |
| 2010-08-10 9:51 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
Champion 16743 Somewhere I can be nekidd | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? If she won't accept a gift card what about taking her and her son out to dinner somewhere? |
| 2010-08-10 10:11 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
Master 2009 Charlotte, NC | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? What about making a donation in her name to a charity she believes in or one you think she would appreciate? |
| 2010-08-10 10:23 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
Pro 4292 Evanston, | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? I second taking her & her son somewhere. Pick something fun for 5-year-olds. |
| 2010-08-10 10:24 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
| Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? mndymond - 2010-08-10 7:49 AM I've been working in a lab as a summer student and the woman doing her Masters has been awesome this summer. She has helped me out more than was necessary for her and I honestly wouldn't have been able to get as far as I did with my project without having her there. I want to get her a little gift and a card in thanks. Problem is someone else got her a gift certificate for a similar situation earlier in the summer and she said she couldn't accept it. She just wanted to keep everything as legit as possible. She is an MD from Romania, so I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not? She has a young son who is really quite bright (he is 5 and knows things about the periodic table, relationships between the sun/earth/moon, etc, etc). So I was thinking instead of getting her something, I would go and get him a fun book or something. She has mentioned throughout the summer that she feels guilty for doing her MSc. and not spending more time with him. So what do you all think? Good idea/bad idea? I'll write her up and nice card and write up a little card for her son with a small gift for him (something they can do together)...or just give her a card? Thanks for your input! Donate something to either her or your favorite charity in her name. |
| 2010-08-10 10:26 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
| Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? If she is avoiding even the appearance of impropriety, you might want to consider just thanking her. If you have a clearance, this is a normal kettle of fish you have to jump through whenever a foreign national (you) offer a gift. Ask her if there is an organization in her country or one she is particularly interested in and see if she wouldn't mind a donation in her name. Then she does not need to explain a gift and doesn't need to declare it if she has a background check periodically. |
| 2010-08-10 10:35 AM in reply to: #3034513 |
Champion 10550 Austin, Texas | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? DanielG - 2010-08-10 10:26 AM If she is avoiding even the appearance of impropriety, you might want to consider just thanking her. If you have a clearance, this is a normal kettle of fish you have to jump through whenever a foreign national (you) offer a gift. Ask her if there is an organization in her country or one she is particularly interested in and see if she wouldn't mind a donation in her name. Then she does not need to explain a gift and doesn't need to declare it if she has a background check periodically. ^^ This If she hasn't accepted previous gifts due to even the faintest impression of impropriety, then don't get her anything other than maybe a card (I like the donation idea too) to thank her for her help and support. |
| 2010-08-10 10:36 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
Pro 4612 MA | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? Take her out for lunch. Get her son a season pass to museums or places like that. Also like the book idea mentioned above. |
| 2010-08-10 10:56 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
| Lafayette, CO | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? I agree with those that say don't push it if she's rejecting based on ethics. It really puts her in a bad spot. My company has a very strick ethics policy and we are not allowed to accept gifts. If one is given to us we have a drawing for anyone interested and that person receives whatever the gift is. I've seen gift baskets, event tickets, gift cards etc be handled this way. I think their may be a nominal amount that we would be allowed to keep but not much. A nice card thanking her and an offer of lunch would be nice. |
| 2010-08-10 11:39 AM in reply to: #3034589 |
Champion 10020 , Minnesota Bronze member | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? I would pick out a special nice card (i.e. from a gift store, not Target) and write a sincere thank you with a lot of detail on what she did and why it mattered to you. She might keep that for a long time and it's as good as any gift, in my opinion. Whenever I receive hand written thank yous at work (i.e. anything but the expected thank yous from nieces after birthdays) I really treasure it. |
| 2010-08-10 11:47 AM in reply to: #3034344 |
Elite 4344 | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? Thank her. Giving a gift to her child is really no different from giving a gift to her in ethics rules. The biggest gift you can and should give her is to be a friend, even when you go back to school. Just stay in touch occasionally. Tell her how you continue to use what she helped you with. My wife used to be a French teacher. Some of her students still check in on Facebook. She has an especial affection for the ones that also became French teachers. These posts are way better than any end-of-the-year teacher present. TW |
| 2010-08-10 12:15 PM in reply to: #3034778 |
Champion 6503 NOVA - Ironic for an Endurance Athlete | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? A handwritten, heartfelt card always goes a long way. |
| 2010-08-10 12:29 PM in reply to: #3034344 |
Champion 6656 | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? Thanks guys for the suggestions! I will probably get her a nice card and write my thank you in it as many of you suggested. I agree that getting her son a gift is really no different than getting her one...I just thought I would see if I could be sneaky about it, but I don't want to make it awkward for her. She probably would decline letting me pay for lunch too. |
| 2010-08-11 11:46 AM in reply to: #3034513 |
Veteran 840 | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? DanielG - 2010-08-10 10:26 AM If she is avoiding even the appearance of impropriety, you might want to consider just thanking her. X2 Going around her morals is not fun for her or productive for you. Just say thank you and pay it forward someday and tell her about it after you are done, thanking her for her example. Edited by Indiana_Geoff 2010-08-11 11:46 AM |
| 2010-08-11 12:28 PM in reply to: #3034344 |
| New user 347 | Subject: a Garmin get her a Garmin, send it to me and I'll make sure old what's her name gets it.... |
| 2010-08-11 12:59 PM in reply to: #3034344 |
| Master 2083 Houston, TX | Subject: RE: Gift for someone who won't accept a gift? What about a letter of recommendation? It can help her out professionally in the future. If she has really gone above and beyond, then she probably deserves one. |
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