What would you do?

I have worked in the legal field for years and I can totally sympathize.  Firms were the WORST.

If you were my in-real-life friend, I would probably suggest two things:

1.  See a therapist.  If you stay there, you need coping techniques.  You can get over this and not have a physical negative reaction.  This won't be a waste of time, and doesn't need to be long term.

2.  I also wonder about leaving the place and working a temp job for a while.  With your experience, I have to think there are some options.  Is there a Robert Half Legal office near you?

Is this a trick... are you really asking for input, or do you just want to vent? J/K... just a little side humor.

Ya, sucks big ones. I had to use FMLA and have plenty of sick and LTD, but had no idea I have STD through my retirment and don't even have to use all my sick... anyway... we just don't learn these things until we need to. I learned a whole lot going through my thing... steep learning curve with serious consequences.

So big picture... you do not really like these folks. You are not going to be there long term. It is what it is. If it is a small office, and you do not have a HR benefits rep to speak to about such stuff, I do not know what they should have done to lay out all your options.

The having hurt feelings for them not "really" caring about you... I get it. Leave. When my heart is not in it... I'm done. But not everyone can just do that, and I do not know if you can either.

One thing I try to do though... is keep my side of the street clean. I agree to do what my employer asks for the compensation I get. If I can't or won't do that, I need to leave. If I can't do that, then I need to keep to my agreement. It is not about them, it is all about you and what you see when you look in the mirror. Keep your chin up.

Congrats on your fight. There are worse things that can happen. Not long from now, these will just be a bunch of idiots you used to work for. It's a means to an end, just remember that.

I have a certain disdain for lawyers as well when I deal with the through work.  And I'm not cutting your employers and kind of slack on the "sleazy" part of them keeping this quite, but are they obligated to remind you of your benefits?  Who in particular would be responsible to tell you "By they way, instead of taking PTO, you DO have these benefits".

Does HR know your situation, or did they just think you were taking days off for things other than health issues?  Does your boss know your time or realize you weren't taking medical leave?  Could it have been oversight or no one knowing all the pieces or was it just simple case of them staying quiet and hoping you don't figure out your benefits?  This should be a reminder for everyone to be aware of what their benefits cover at work.

I'm glad you are through the cancer thing so far.  I'm technically an unofficial "survivor" as well - just need to put in another couple years to make it official.  I know how much time and money it can take.  Sorry to hear this adds to what is already a stressful situation.

I like the idea of getting good counsel. I certainly wouldn't make any decision that might put you into a worse financial situation. You know that ultimately it isn't permanent.

If you can find another temporary situation then great. (personally though, I am not a big fan of office temp work)

I have gone through a few times here at work that pushed me to the brink, had me looking elsewhere, getting upset, the whole deal. It continues now, but to a smaller degree. My answer has been to compartmentalize some stuff in life, specifically work.  This may seem simple minded, but it has worked for me, for the most part anyway. There are a number of things that you have no control over, so don't let those things get into your head and upset you.  Look at all the positives and know that better times for you are just around the corner and that you will be outta there soon.

First off... venting is completely theraputic. Nothing wrong with that. asking for input, help or direction... again, all good stuff.

You seem to get it. I did not have cancer, (could have been) but I get it. It was a very big stress in my life. And people react to stressors in life differently... and to take it out on someone/thing else is not unreasonable... I'm not saying they do not deserve it, but just give your self a break. You had this very big event in your life. Not only did the stress of it effect you, but so did the physical treatment and all that goes with it... how the heck are you going to be able to take a step back and look at it with the proper perspective... you can't. all you can do is get through it the best you can.... which you are still doing from all the fall out with this thing from work. Completely human. Isn't it awesome to find out you are normal!!!

But yes... now what to do about it. you have all the options, but if you stay or go, my guess is that you will continue to get back to normal and get back to dealing with normal stuff like you always have. And time and distance always gives more prospective. Sounds like you already have a pretty good one. All I know for certian is... things WILL change. Nothing is forever.... even crappy places.

Patti, the worst part in this post is that I have a few friends in the legal area that might need employees. Their loss!!!

I really hope you get through the whole thing, b/c it can mess with your head. Good Luck. I'm looking forward to you getting outta there.

It is definitely not worth sacrificing your mental health and piece of mind for a paycheck.  On the other hand, loss of pay comes with its own level of mental stress and anxiety.

If it were me, I'd start looking for something else ASAP.  You may have to take a small cut in pay, especially if you're looking for positions that aren't permanent ones being that you're moving.  But I bet less wages will feel like a small price to pay for a peaceful and pleasant work atmosphere.

Even exploring other options and potentially interviewing for them will likely provide some solace as you continue to deal with the current environment.

And congrats on making it through the treatments.  It sounds like you are cancer free?

A couple of questions to ask yourself:

1. Does what you do on a daily basis save lives?

If the answer is no: I suggest it's not worth risking your health (mental or physical) to do something for a company you feel let you down in multiple ways (using my interpretation of your posts)

2. Is it acceptable to write a year of your life off?

Again, if the answer is no.  Why would you "stick it out"? genuine question and there can be reasons.

Such as

3. Do you absolutely need the financial input? 

Will life for the next 12 months become difficult if you cannot find another job?

Is it likely you could find another role to support your needs?

If you're facing a point where you feel you have to stick it out, can you look at each day this way:

"I'm here today to support my move to FL."

things may seem easier to cope with knowing what you put up with daily is contributing to your end goal of relocating.

Please take your time to think through your options, an unhappy work environment for a year is no easy task, 40 hours a week is a large portion of your time and can very easily impact your life outside.

Bringing up memeories... my mom was a para legal. Worked for Harry Ried when he was an attourney in Vegas. She worked for a few. Said she was the highest paid para legal there. I do not know how you would know such a thing, but my mom is not boastful. I remember her telling me one day her boss bought a IBM computer. She had to keep waiting for it to catch up to her when she typed. (135 wpm) Said her boss had to add some memory. Niether of us really understood what that was.

I never remember her being stressed out from work. Dad was in construction, so I always worked with him. Didn't know much about her work. But with dad in construction... there were many many times she was the one keeping a roof over our head. Her quitting would not have been an option... Mom is a very capable, intelligent lady. I should give her a call.