Triathlon Dating Thread (Page 19)

thebigb - 2012-04-13 10:09 AM

Try- "You sound sad as a lost puppy dog.  Maybe a bone will cheer you up?"

 

A profile like that would drive me to run away.  "I want, I want, I want, you should be, you should be, you should be, blah blah blah."  

 

I found my old school match.com profile...

"

Due to my new found (well rediscovered) penchant for bulleted lists, I bring you the most efficient ever "about me" section in the universe. Thanks to their formatting awesomeness, it's pretty much all the amazing stuff void of the crap filler like "umm" and "sooo". Yes, I attended a toastmasters once, what's it matter? 

Without further ado, I...

* show Bradley on my birth certificate yet will answer to Brad, Bradley, BT, Chief, You, Master Unit, Godly one
* don't wear my cape in public
* love life
*am super duper, uber active.  This means I  am generally always doing something rather than sitting around.  This also means I'm pretty much guaranteed to never be fat or out of shape.
*don't mind sitting around if there's someone to sit around with
* have an amazing family; every one of them. Dad, mum, siblings et al. This would mean to you that I'm halfway emotionally stable. Notice "halfway".
* spend more time outside than in
* actually enjoy my job, immensely
* think fast food is the devil except at 2am and then it's simply divine.
* am very rarely up at 2am 
* believe everyone should own a pair of running shoes and actually use them
* have the coolest dog 
* have been known to have conversations from time to time with the aforementioned coolest dog
* am quite quixotic (www.dictionary.com if you need assistance)
* think I'm funny. Your experience may vary but that's only your opinion
* won't task you with coming up with a "how did we meet" story
* have been known to race down streets in shopping carts
* accomplished over 100 stitches before turning 15
* do believe "chicks dig scars"
* am uber smart. If you don't think so it's because you lack the intelligence to understand.
* think my bikes (the kind you pedal) are much cooler than my car 
* always thought Jessi was hotter than Kelli. AC Slater knew what was up.
* love to cook when there's someone around to cook for
* can't stand lobster, shrimp or crab unless encased in rice and slathered with wasabi
* have developed a love for swimming
* can hold my own on a golf course, board room, and your parents' dinner table
* do not have much street cred
* spent too much time on this list already

You should be:
* smart, funny, fit, witty, classy, cultured, not afraid to get dirty, and active (bonus points if you're a runner or cyclist); possess superpowers, white teeth, a car, a sense of humor, a not expired passport, love of life and openness to new things as well as an invisible jet, purple panther, horse with a horn growing out of its head and the ability to be in three places at once."

*the lack of any of the aforementioned qualities does not necessarily disqualify any interested parties."

That thing actually worked pretty good for me.  Well at least for attracting crazies.  har har

 

lisac957 - 2012-04-13 9:00 AM

I got a Match email yesterday:

Subject: (none)
Your very pretty.

First off, my profile actually says:
Bonus points if you: 
- Know the difference between their, there, and they're. 

I swear some days I log in solely for the amusement factor.

lisac957 - 2012-04-13 10:00 AM

I got a Match email yesterday:

Subject: (none)
Your very pretty.

First off, my profile actually says:
Bonus points if you: 
- Know the difference between their, there, and they're. 

I swear some days I log in solely for the amusement factor.

thebigb - 2012-04-13 10:06 AM I know!  stupid people screwing up the formatting.  What's wrong with you?

lisac957 - 2012-04-13 11:00 AM

I got a Match email yesterday:

Subject: (none)
Your very pretty.

First off, my profile actually says:
Bonus points if you: 
- Know the difference between their, there, and they're. 

I swear some days I log in solely for the amusement factor.

thebigb - 2012-04-13 10:10 AM

I like pina coladas.

DeannaS - 2012-04-13 11:14 AM



And getting caught in the rain?

cgregg - 2012-04-13 11:23 AM I'm not into Yoga.

Muskrat37 - 2012-04-13 9:47 AM

You guys are so awesome and funny.  I am learning how bad I am at reading between the lines, and how bad I am at emailing chicks on match.com.    

The good news is - I am a quick learner. 

I did not email that chick.  I definitely am not into clingy, needy etc.  (been there, done that).  

Thinking I might have to change the profile and just wait for the emails to come my way instead. 

See, I'm quick.  

mrbbrad - 2012-04-13 10:23 AM

Stop. Just stop. Now. 

mr2tony - 2012-04-13 9:06 AM Are you into champagne?

thebigb - 2012-04-13 8:58 AM

Don't wait for them to email you because you'll rarely get what you're looking for.  Most of the "desirable" ladies get bombarded with emails and hardly have the time to go out searching for someone to email.  

Muskrat37 - 2012-04-12 11:43 PM

OK Ladies (and that funny guy) - I NEED YOUR HELP! - That has been made abundantly clear.   

Here is a profile of a lady I want to email.  

"I am a very friendly social outgoing person. I love to stay busy and would love my partner to have a sense of adventure to. I would love someone that would wake up on a weekend morning and be okay with jumping in the car and taking off to do something spontaneous . I also want someone that would just like to sit around and be lazy with me, grab a burger and watch a movie at home. I want a best friend. Someone to share those exciting moments in life first with each other no matter how insignificant it may be. Honesty is the most important though. I like to think of myself as a very understanding person.Sometimes that gets taken advantage of but its me and I cant help it, when I care for a person I will give them my all. My ideal someone would be completly comfortable with themselves and with me from the beginning.No secrets, just open and honest about everything even if its embarrassing( trust me I have had my fair share of that!) My children and my family are my life. Making memories with them is what matters most. I love to laugh and have a good time. Seriousness...need not apply cause I am a bit of a stinker and a smart .  
My two loves are bikes and boats. If Im not out riding with my Dad and Cousin on their Harley's or going to the MX tracks with my kids racing, I am out on the sound with my friends and family chilling! I am looking for someone who is looking for the same as me, a relationship, a best friend. Someone who cant wait to see each other over and over and see what new things come out of us getting to know each other. I Can't wait to meet you !"

HELP ME WRITE THE EMAIL (so I don't F' it up again)  

I'll let you know if your email gets a response.  

Muskrat37 - 2012-04-13 10:47 AM

You guys are so awesome and funny.  I am learning how bad I am at reading between the lines, and how bad I am at emailing chicks on match.com.    

The good news is - I am a quick learner. 

I did not email that chick.  I definitely am not into clingy, needy etc.  (been there, done that).  

Thinking I might have to change the profile and just wait for the emails to come my way instead. 

See, I'm quick.  

tmwelshy - 2012-04-13 11:36 AM

Be careful what advice you take from women in this area. While they may be absolutely correct in what THEY want to see from a suitor, that doesn't necessarily translate into success with other women. Their judgement on your target is equally suspect. Maybe you like hot semi-literate narcissistic motorcycle babes.

Online dating adds a lot of accouterments to dating, but it doesn't change what dating is at its core: I want to get to know you or I want to have sex with you. There isn't anything else. One or the other. Pick which one and tailor all of your communication around or towards that outcome. Be honest with yourself about what you really want and be honest about what you share. 

Be the Pennis. The Pennis has drive and clarity of vision, but it's not clever. Don't try to be clever. Don't over think these things. "I like you, I assume you like me until I hear otherwise, so lets go to dinner."

 Tips:

Open ended questions and instructions. Hey boring6458, You're scrap booking experiences sound amazing. Tell me more.

If you are talking to a woman (sexist, I know) and you are talking more than 30% of the time, shut up and ask her about her. In dating, woman talking = good. That doesn't mean you should talk or share anything, just that you should save some for later. Trust me, she's got more to talk about that you do.

Operate from a position of strength. Not necessarily superiority. Do not kiss her , in email or in person. Do not try to be nice or obsequious. Fawning never wins. 

Do not wait for emails to come your way. Passivity never ever ever wins.

Welshy

tmwelshy - 2012-04-13 9:36 AM

Be careful what advice you take from women in this area. While they may be absolutely correct in what THEY want to see from a suitor, that doesn't necessarily translate into success with other women. Their judgement on your target is equally suspect. Maybe you like hot semi-literate narcissistic motorcycle babes.

Online dating adds a lot of accouterments to dating, but it doesn't change what dating is at its core: I want to get to know you or I want to have sex with you. There isn't anything else. One or the other. Pick which one and tailor all of your communication around or towards that outcome. Be honest with yourself about what you really want and be honest about what you share. 

Be the Pennis. The Pennis has drive and clarity of vision, but it's not clever. Don't try to be clever. Don't over think these things. "I like you, I assume you like me until I hear otherwise, so lets go to dinner."

 Tips:

Open ended questions and instructions. Hey boring6458, You're scrap booking experiences sound amazing. Tell me more.

If you are talking to a woman (sexist, I know) and you are talking more than 30% of the time, shut up and ask her about her. In dating, woman talking = good. That doesn't mean you should talk or share anything, just that you should save some for later. Trust me, she's got more to talk about that you do.

Operate from a position of strength. Not necessarily superiority. Do not kiss her , in email or in person. Do not try to be nice or obsequious. Fawning never wins. 

Do not wait for emails to come your way. Passivity never ever ever wins.

 

 

Welshy