What's a "deal breaker" for you? (Page 3)

gearboy - 2008-11-24 6:20 PM

I'm surprised no one has pointed this part of the story out, but....

What the heck was your "friend" thinking when she set you up with this guy? OK, I've been married for nearly 25 years to my college girlfriend, so maybe I am not clued in. but it seems to me that if a friend is setting me up with a potential date, the friend knows both me and the other party, and is essentially vetting each of us.  So what your friend is saying to you is "Hey, I know this guy - he's selfish in bed, doesn't want anything long term, just a "friend with benefits", and since you don't eat sushi, it won't last, but hey, I'm sure since you've been in a drought you'll go for it - any port in a storm, right?"

miami9296 - 2008-11-24 11:39 AM

My fellow BT'ers...curious question for you....

What, when starting a relationship, would be (or was) considered a deal breaker for you?  I am thinking smoking, cheating, lying, etc....you get the point....

Most of you who know me, know that I am, unfortuantely, in a bit of a drought in the relationship area, so when a friend said that she wanted to set me up, I thought, "Why the heck not?"  We meet for drinks, 2 weeks ago, keep it casual, and we've talked a lot (even talked 2 hours one night on the phone, my ear was burning).  Everytime we talk, it's a great conversation, we make each other laugh, we have a lot in common (he's a couple years older than me, and a chiropractor, who has lots of athletes as clients), so I start to get excited at where this is going.

Until our conversation on Saturday...he not only tells me that he's not looking for anything serious right now, but we can hang out and be friends, but that the fact that I don't like sushi, is a DEAL BREAKER FOR HIM!!!  WHAT??? This has got to be a joke, right?  Drinking too much, smoking, swearing, etc, I see as a deal breaker, but the fact that I don't eat sushi, are you kidding?

Oh, and the nail in the coffin for me, he said he's really selfish when it comes to the "stuff" and he pretty much just likes to fall asleep afterwards, so I better be quick, or bring toys, and I said, "Ya, buh bye!"

 

smoke - 2008-11-25 11:43 AM You could always say he did you a favor by getting it all out there at the relative beginning of your "relationship"...as ridiculous as his "deal breakers" are...better now then when you become emotionally invested! Though could also be said that anyone with half a brain would have realized quickly he was to small to keep and threw him back! My deal breakers are simple... 1) pass the "step-mom" test...if you cant be a great step mother to my two children...your out...no questions asked...no debate 2) be a geniunely good person (a very subjective rule...but its my rule!) dont lie, dont cheat, dont steal...to easy! 3) religion...nah...you believe what you like and I will believe what i like...same goes for politics 4) dont have to run sub-11 IMs...or any tri's, runs or bike races...but should be concerned with your health and support me in what i choose to do! Think thats all I got for now! Normally we never get passed a combo of #1 & 2...so the rest ends up being mute!

crusevegas - 2008-11-25 12:11 PMPeople who share personal and intimate conversations on public forums would be a deal breaker for me.

 

wurkit_gurl - 2008-11-25 12:14 PM

Uh, she wasn't in the sack with the guy, or even in a relationship with him. She was on a bad blind date and he said really d-baggy things. Perfect fodder for internet chatting...

CitySky - 2008-11-24 5:42 PM

My views on male-female relationships and on marriage in particular are shaped by my faith, and I have a strong commitment to God and to my church community.  I would not choose to marry anyone with whom I couldn't be a team on these things, so for the past 14 years I've dated exclusively within one community of churches.  The guy I date now is someone who I feel helps me be my best before God.  That's important to me.

smoke - 2008-11-25 12:21 PM I am a firm believer in destiny, fate and serendipity! So every one that hasnt passed the test just wasnt the right one! You would think you wouldnt be able to shake a stick without hitting someone who can pass the test, but sadly thats not the case...so I keep focusing on my kids and on myself (lord knows I gots me a whole mess of stuff to work on) and when it is supposed to happen it will! (my original thought for a reply was to write "because your in Southeastern Michigan" but didnt think you would see the humor in it! But man I crack myself up sometimes!)

smoke - 2008-11-25 11:33 AM Hey way to hijack the thread!!! Its not about me or my age or my ED!! Stay focused people! remeber the poopy chiropracter? Its about bashing him!

Force - 2008-11-25 1:44 PM Reading all these "deal breakers" and seeing a bit of myself in some, I can only conclude my wife is exceptionally tolerant. I have visions of me standing in the middle of a life-sized version of that old board game, "Don't break the ice" and my wife has knocked out quite a bit of the ice blocks, but I'm still standing...better figure out if she's got a few more swings to take or repair some of my faults...

jdwright56 - 2008-11-24 2:19 PM

Maybe it is the perceptionist in me, but I read this a little differently than everyone else.  Sushi - really?  Me thinks not.  I think that this guy started to like you, started to see you liking him, and got scared because he is a relationship-phob.  "What can I say to her that will make her run away and think I am a dbag.  Ohhh, she doesn;t like sushi - I'll tell her that I can't have a serious relationship with someone who doesn't like sushi.  That way, if she thinks that she can convert me - I'll partake in the goodies and still won't have to accept any relationship other than a booty call.  Wait, what if I am not good in bed.  I'll tell her that I don't care about anyone but myself.  Worst case, she calls it quits and I don't have to worry about a relationship.  Best case - I am a super cool dude that doesn't know the power of my own animal magnetism and I can have my cake and eat my pizza too. 

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 

Maine Rob - 2008-11-25 2:49 PM

Let's see...

-"Man hands"

-Eating peas one at a time

-Refusing to try my apple pie

-Is a masseuse but won't give me a massage

-Dated Newman, who dumped her

Oh wait, that's not me...

wurkit_gurl - 2008-11-25 11:14 AM

Uh, she wasn't in the sack with the guy, or even in a relationship with him. She was on a bad blind date and he said really d-baggy things. Perfect fodder for internet chatting...

Bronwyn1968 - 2008-11-25 11:27 AM

I see humor in MOST things...so don't worry about me!

You'll find someone...have faith.  It would just be nice to find someone before you get much older and need to rely on viagra (do you see the humor in that?!? I crack myself up too!)