Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 32)

Here's my logical 2 cents for you.  Do you think you'd be more unhappy not having this guy in your life at all?  If so, then maybe you can successfully de-escalate and be friends.  I did that with the first (and only) person I fell in love with after my marriage ended.  We're still friends and completely platonic.  It's great.  Truly. Of course the reason I fell in love with her was because we were also really good friends, and a real relationship is built upon that.

Are you just grasping because of the shared intimacy that will be lost?  Concerned that someone you were with knows all your deep, dark, intimate issues?  Afraid you won't find someone else even?  Definitely let it go.  All depends how deep the connection was, how much you will run into each other still, etc.  I've dated a lot since I moved to Chicago 15 months ago.  Most of the women I want nothing to do with.  A handful are great casual acquaintances and it just didn't work out.  It hasn't left me feeling like there's some unfinished business I need to attend to though.  Tread carefully.

DeannaS - 2013-01-14 1:47 PM

Big Appa - 2013-01-14 2:44 PM

DeannaS - 2013-01-14 12:40 PM

Big Appa - 2013-01-14 2:23 PM

DeannaS - 2013-01-14 12:13 PM Based on these responses, I think "how many exes are you friends with" should go on my list of questions to ask early on. Big insight into how people will potentially one day treat each other.

Or what do you think of your exes might be a good one. I think someone who hates everyone of their exes or talks bad about them is a big red flag too.

Yep, and typically, if it's an issue for someone, you don't even have to ask. When people start about their exes on the first date, I'm usually thinking, "check, please!" The other big red flag for me that happens pre-date is when you do a background check and they've taken out a restraining order on their ex, or had one taken out on them. Eek. (And yes, I do do an online, free background check on everyone I meet from online dating sites. Doesn't everyone? )

There is a free online one?

There is in my state. http://wcca.wicourts.gov/index.xslI know that some other states have a similar one.

This is excellent.  Thanks!

Question to the daters:

Would you consider meeting up with someone who was open about wanting/looking to re-locate?

I'm on the fence about being back on a dating web site when I am looking to move out of the state at the first opportunity I get. I would hate to start a relationship only to turn around and move/end things. But then again I'd hate to sit on my hands and let life and experiences pass me by when nothing is remotely set in stone. I'd kind of rather go ahead and meet people, and at the very least make a few new friends. But I don't want to create drama either.

What do you think?

Depends on if someone was moving closer to, or further away from Iowa.

Seriously, though.  Unless you have a set date when you're moving (and it's next week) I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Things change.  Heck, I was planning on moving to Colorado in October.  Was set to give my notice and everything.  Look how that worked out...

Drama is inevitable Don't worry about it and more importantly don't wait for tomorrow.

I would say not to worry....Go about your dating life as usual, meet new people, have fun, and see what comes your way.  Almost every relationship will start on a casual basis, and as long as there is communication during that time and you are open about your plans for the future that will dictate what route the relationship takes.

When i first started with my girlfriend she was in law school and didnt know in what state she was going to take the bar and i have always wanted to relocate outside the country.  Little by little the relationship started getting more serious and plans for the future started mergin so now we are in the same page.  It all comes down to communication in my opinion.

I "came" upon this thread a bit late. But I will throw my name in the hat.

I am from the Great White North, so I know my pickings will be slim. 44 years old. 5'6", 130lbs. I inherited the MPB gene so I just keep it shaved. Divorced 3 years, no kids. Never had a cavity and still have all my teeth. Training for Ironman Wisconsin. Typical day is up at 5:15am, exercise, then go to work, come home and train some more, then go to bed at 9:00pm. I guess I know why I am still single. When not training I like to play the guitar.

Might want to post a pic on your profile.  

Teejaay - 2013-01-16 1:57 PM

Muskrat37 - 2013-01-16 2:08 PM

DeVinci13 - 2013-01-16 12:28 PM

I "came" upon this thread a bit late. But I will throw my name in the hat.

I am from the Great White North, so I know my pickings will be slim. 44 years old. 5'6", 130lbs. I inherited the MPB gene so I just keep it shaved. Divorced 3 years, no kids. Never had a cavity and still have all my teeth. Training for Ironman Wisconsin. Typical day is up at 5:15am, exercise, then go to work, come home and train some more, then go to bed at 9:00pm. I guess I know why I am still single. When not training I like to play the guitar.

Might want to post a pic on your profile.  

...for the ladies.

LOL - thanks for helping me clarify.   

*update - Date 3 was watching a movie at her place.  We had a lot of "fun" 

Today I was dumped via text... Pretty cool as this is the first time I have ever had that happen.  Positive that I got used - BUT I'M TOTALLY OK WITH THAT! 

I have another 1st date on Monday though.  

I think I'll stick to the old fashioned way of meeting ladies.  I have had more success in 3 weeks just by talking to women than I had in the previous 12 months with online dating.    

Yep!    Like I said - I got used, and I liked it. She said in her text that she thinks we want different things out of a relationship and she doesn't think this is going to work.  

Funny thing is, we never talked about what we want out of a relationship.  

I texted her back and said it was ok if she kept me on her "booty call" list and that I'd be happy to "drink a glass of wine" with her any time she wanted.  She texted back and said "Ha, Ha.... OK - Thanks Chad"  

First time being dumped via text, and my first time being added to a booty call list..(if that's what she did) Pretty good day really.  

I'm not sweating it.  I had fun.  I have a 1st date on Monday with "Ashley"  I'm really looking forward to it. Funny thing is  - we are going out for a glass of wine!  

Alright so I saw this article and I had to stumble over here and see what all of my fellow singles thought about this???

http://motherboard.vice.com/blog/how-shady-is-okcupids-new-blind-dating-app

Personally, I think it's bad enough getting the surprise from someone who looks nothing like their pictures or what they've said about themselves, let alone going in blind.     >_<

Strange. I don't think I'd ever do it. At least with a "traditional" blind date, you are typically set up by mutual friends who have your best interest in mind. This, notsomuch.