Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 39)

Well on sites like Match they ask you to quantify what "body type" both YOU ARE and YOU'D PREFER (you can select more than one on what you'd prefer)... the choices are:

Slender
Athletic and toned
About average
A few extra pounds
Stocky
Heavyset

EDIT: for women there is also "big and beautiful", "curvy" and "full figured" to chose from

Maybe that's where the comment came from? Dunno. But I think it's okay to be upfront about wanting someone who is not "heavyset" or what not. For me it's a pure attraction thing first, or lack thereof. Other things come into play like compatibility with activity level and overall health, but first it's as simple as attraction for me.
 

Talk...ugh.  Not yet.  She didn't come to the moving party that I was planning on being my chance to talk in person.  The story I got was that she is still sick and went to her parents to be out of the way and not infect everyone.  I did get more texts today - almost like before, but I went to a friends instead of trying to call tonight. The plan is to call her tomorrow evening if I can't get her in person.

That seems more reasonable.  The attraction first part applies more to me when meeting girls in real life (which is mostly how I do it) because you just don't have anything else to go on.  I certainly don't approach hideous chicks at the gym and hope they have a great personality, but sometimes girls that wouldn't qualify based on looks become more attractive after getting to know them.  I guess I relate looks in dating with the swim ability of a triathlete - the girl has to know how to swim, but can kinda suck and still pull off great race with a good bike and run.  It's past my bedtime - I hope that still makes sense in the morning.

Ditto.

I find online dating so frustrating, the number of people who fall into the category of attractive to me are quite few.  There seems to be a shortage of healthy fit active people online, they must exist some where!!  I scroll through the websites and come to the conclusion that I either need to lower my standards or close the laptop.  This has lead to deleted profiles.  

I had one or two really good first dates, one girl in particular seemed perfect, extremely fit, smart, great career, but turns out she fell into the afore mentioned 'serial monogamist' category. I think that and I maybe took it a little two easy and was not very aggressive in pursuing her. There seems to be a line between creepy obsessed and doesnt appear interested... some girls seem to appreciate that I like to take things slow and dont put any pressure on them and others seem to want to be chased... What gives?

Guess if I had not been in a relationship my entire adult life I would know these dating rules or have some clue whatsoever!

Also the term "athletic body type'... over used and misunderstood.  One girl who said 'Athletic'  MAY have been athletic when she created the profile if she created it 6 or 7 years previously... seriously... why lie on these things... At least keep them up to date!! I dont understand peoples motives, I guess I need to be more understanding and patient?  Or maybe I just have a different value system...

Don't get me started on how hard it is to find a single girl that understands what I mean by "active."

OK, had the talk by phone.  I was assured that things were atypical because of extra work and moving, then being sick.  I'd think if I was home sick, bored out of my mind for a week, I'd at least text a little out of boredom... Anyway, between that and some off-screen advice, I still get the vibe that, while she may want to be exclusive/not worry about sharing me, that she may not be as interested in building a more significant relationship as I am.    I'm going to be patient and see how things feel for a week or two. 

I went on a Match date about five years ago.  The guy who showed up was about 7 years older and about 75 pounds heavier than the profile pics.  He never even acknowledged that he looked a LITTLE different than his photos and neither did I.  I figured I'd save him the embarrassment, went ahead with the dinner and then just did the "no thanks" email when I got home. 

Ha, reminds me of a friend of mine who is fairly tall.  She went on a date with a guy who claimed to be 5'10.  She meets the guy and she said she swears there was no way he was even 5'. When she got to the restaurant he was sitting so she didnt notice at first.  She said he was nice, kinda cute, the pretty much hit it off, until at the end of dinner when he stood up! How did he expect to pull THAT one off?

I think I'll start dating in September.  I'll be looking for an Argentine Tango dance partner. 
 

I have another situation, and its more bizarre than the last scenario.

I get a facebook message from my best friend from childhood's brother in law.  Every year, for like the last 18 years, my parents and I (even my brother for a lot of the years) went to my friend's families get togethers at fourth of july and Christmas Eve.  My friend has 4 sisters, and I've even been to a couple of weddings.  My parents and her parents are very good friends, and we are specially bonded since my friend was in a car accident that left her paralyzed at 16.  My mom and I made the trek out to colorado to visit her in rehab hospital, along with her mom and one sister, and we have all been even closer as a result. 

Anyways, this past Christmas eve, one of the husbands of the sister (the one sister that I'm not really friends with) wasn't there, we were told he was sick, but I just got a vibe, since the two of them always seemed like oil and water anyways.  Didn't think anything of it till I got a message that he is separated from her and wants to go out! 

Of course he and I have always gotten along, to the point that my mom and I would joke "too bad he's married to her, he would be perfect for you."  He's a lot like my brother, and my dad and mom love him, and he loves my parents as well (as he said in the email!).  But as going through asll the scenarios in my head, if we got married, I'd be my friend's nephew's stepmom!  My friend's parents and my parents would both be his inlaws!

WWBTTDTD?

my parents were dying. I called my mom at 10:00 pm (which is a no no nowadays) and told her, then she calls back to say "dad says you gotta go out with him!".  I told mom I'm not doing anything till she talks to my friend's mother to find out if its "ok".

To the first bolded sentence: he separated from his wife just over a month ago? Or was this a year and a month ago? If only a month or 6 weeks' time has passed since his separation, I'd lay low unless it's crystal clear things are amicable and completely straightened out. Maybe they are.

To the second bolded sentence: I this speaks volumes - some people really just click and it's screamingly noticeable to the world. If it were me I would really want to find out rather than wonder for the rest of my life. It'd have to be the right time and place though... 

sounds legit to me, especially if the 'rents are ok with it.

I have no idea how long they have been separated.  Apparently the sister already has a boyfriend.  Believe me, separated usually means no in my mind.  But he made it obvious in that email that he's been done and wanted out for a long time (as he referenced his marriage as a 14 year nightmare).

this scenario would be red flags if it happened to any of my friends, for sure. But since I am privy to most of the info (or will be shortly) its certainly a possibility. I just don't want to cause any rifts.  Lifelong friendship always supersedes a possible relationship in my eyes.  Might be why I'm still single. I'm not a boat-rocker.

did you ask your friend what she thought?  she'd be the only person who could end up in an awkward situation (besides you).  i wouldn't even consider it if she were the least bit uncomfortable.

Good catch with the timing!  I was reading/replying during a work meeting.  Also be aware that perfect for you or not...newly separated = not always fully available.  It CAN work out..just something to be cautious of, as newly single people are often capable of suddenly surprising you with changes of heart, etc.   I know this guy that has recently found himself in an "exclusive relationship" minus the part where he sees or communicates with the girl...

That aside - I'd also be sure that the separated thing isn't a trial - I have a rule that at the very least, divorce proceedings be in actual progress.  Papers filed..etc.  Even that is risky.  All of that is just my advice about protecting you...as far as worrying about offending others or awkwardness - I still say that an awesome life partner is worth it.

Edit because I just read your last - Good deal.  At least you have some info.  My marriage was over years before I actually got out. 

I will definitely contact my friend. Its a little more difficult than pick up the phone, she has no cell phone and is often at doctor's appointments dealing with ongoing medical issues.  The sister I'm not worried about offending, its my friend, who is a true lifetime soulmate.

Just a random that I had to share (the reason I came to this thread in the first place today)...

if you're going to have an affair while you are in Vegas, it's probably best to not post pictures of yourself on FB making out with your non-spouse.  Talk about uncomfortable.  A woman I know from my kids school and Church posted a pic of herself last night while making out with a dude that is not her husband.  I'd like to steer clear of it, and I'm hoping I am not the only person that saw it before she (wisely) took it down this morning.  I feel like I've got the moral obligation to say something to her and her husband though. 

social media...  Vegas is going to have to change their slogan.