Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 40)

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 3:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

This may be why they were divorced in the first place. 

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 12:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

I think they/we find being single is not what they are used to or in their comfort zone, so they try to get back to what they know.

BUT, I started dating my current when I was still going through the divorce of my first.  Probably just a couple months after the first moved from the house.  I INTENTIONALLY did not ask her to marry me for almost 5 years to put that time in and NOT be the guy that jumps into the next marraige quickly, even though we were exclusive from day one (not planned, but just happened that way that we didn't date anyone else).

Anyway, over 10 years in with the second and it's been brilliant.  I have to be thankfull she gave the "recently divorce/seperated dude" a chance!

Kido - 2013-02-07 12:12 PM

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 12:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

I think they/we find being single is not what they are used to or in their comfort zone, so they try to get back to what they know.

BUT, I started dating my current when I was still going through the divorce of my first.  Probably just a couple months after the first moved from the house.  I INTENTIONALLY did not ask her to marry me for almost 5 years to put that time in and NOT be the guy that jumps into the next marraige quickly, even though we were exclusive from day one (not planned, but just happened that way that we didn't date anyone else).

Anyway, over 10 years in with the second and it's been brilliant.  I have to be thankfull she gave the "recently divorce/seperated dude" a chance!

I think most of the married people who are posting are on their second marriage so someone had to give you all a chance.

well its certainly frustrating b/c I'm of the "let them focus on themselves for a bit and wait to see if they're ready" ideas when it comes to the newly divorced/separated folks.  Then they are snapped up before I've had a chance!  good lord.  My married friends think I have this endless crop of divorced guys now but the truth is, most of them have started seeing their next wife before the divorce was final.

I should know, I'm going to a couple of weddings where this has happened this year!

Just to be fair this goes for the wifes too.

If you look I'm talking about myself. I'm not looking for my next wife

Never know what might make you happy

mr2tony - 2013-02-07 3:43 PM

Big Appa - 2013-02-07 2:18 PM

Kido - 2013-02-07 12:12 PM

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 12:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

I think they/we find being single is not what they are used to or in their comfort zone, so they try to get back to what they know.

BUT, I started dating my current when I was still going through the divorce of my first.  Probably just a couple months after the first moved from the house.  I INTENTIONALLY did not ask her to marry me for almost 5 years to put that time in and NOT be the guy that jumps into the next marraige quickly, even though we were exclusive from day one (not planned, but just happened that way that we didn't date anyone else).

Anyway, over 10 years in with the second and it's been brilliant.  I have to be thankfull she gave the "recently divorce/seperated dude" a chance!

I think most of the married people who are posting are on their second marriage so someone had to give you all a chance.

I know Blueeyedbikergirl's current husband, who is amazingly hot and sexy and great in bed,

I'll bet you soap him up in the shower.

mr2tony - 2013-02-07 2:43 PM

Big Appa - 2013-02-07 2:18 PM

Kido - 2013-02-07 12:12 PM

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 12:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

I think they/we find being single is not what they are used to or in their comfort zone, so they try to get back to what they know.

BUT, I started dating my current when I was still going through the divorce of my first.  Probably just a couple months after the first moved from the house.  I INTENTIONALLY did not ask her to marry me for almost 5 years to put that time in and NOT be the guy that jumps into the next marraige quickly, even though we were exclusive from day one (not planned, but just happened that way that we didn't date anyone else).

Anyway, over 10 years in with the second and it's been brilliant.  I have to be thankfull she gave the "recently divorce/seperated dude" a chance!

I think most of the married people who are posting are on their second marriage so someone had to give you all a chance.

Yes. And it wasn't my friend's ex-wife. Pretty sure Jim's wife wasn't his friend's ex and I know Blueeyedbikergirl's current husband, who is amazingly hot and sexy and great in bed, wasn't her friend's ex. So yes, no problem with dating people who are recently divorced/separated/whatever but I wouldn't ruin a friendship to date someone. To turtlegirl: I don't see wisdom in potentially destroying not only YOUR friendship with this one person but your entire family's friendship with their entire family just so you could date and POSSIBLY make it work. What if it doesn't work? Then what? Then you've probably alienated her entire family and created a rift between her family and yours, and for what, a couple dates and maybe some sexytimes? In the event it does work, you've still lost a lifelong friend and broken created animosity between two families. I don't see it ending well even if they say `Oh surrrre go ahead we don't care.' They do care, if they're good parent/sisters/brothers.

Clearly I'm not looking at "sexytimes" as a goal.  I'm not friends with the sister, I don't know the situation of the breakup, and I'm not the one doing the contacting as of yet.  Personally, I don't like this sister, she's a flake, and I think used the guy b/c he is well to do.  If you've read what I've written, I'm in no way interested in jeopardizing my relationship with the family and my friend.  And I think they know me well enough to know what my intentions are.  Its certainly not "a couple of dates."

My worthless two cents.

See what your friend has to say on the matter and proceed SLOWLY.

If I was "over" the relationship (hence everyone suggesting to give it time to cool) I'd have no issues and don't think my sister would either. It might be a little bit of "oh hey, small world", but if I've moved past it I hope everyone else has too.

Everyone has a line they won't cross.  "Still married" is a clear cut one for me.  No matter what they say about being "separated" or anything else.  Divorce not finalized?  Not interested.

Fixed that (in most cases).

It's almost sitcom material... I have a steady supply of girls I've already dumped in the past year trying hard to spend time with me, but I've gotten just 1 text from the girl I'm supposed to be exclusively dating since our talk.. (that was Sunday).
Last night she messaged that she stumbled on my cooler and sorry, she forgot she had it. That's it. (I had left a surprise dinner on her porch during her first busy week). Anyway... I'll be formally dissolving that agreement this weekend. NEXT!

In other happy news, the Univesity I work at is closd due to snow.  I still have to be here, but I get an extra vacation day so I can play when it's nice out!

I continue to be amused by guys' messages. Why can't they just move on? If you are this clingy before I even reply to your email or meet you, lord help your future relationships.

Okay then... I'm not going to be that persistent since it's somewhat annoying but can you at least respond and say "no thank you" ? That would be great... 

And before youse guys ask why I'm not hitting the "no thanks" button - this guys messages were automatically moved into my "filtered emails" folder for some reason or another so they are not front and center to me. Plus if I took the time to hit "no thanks" on every guy I wasn't interested in, it would be a full time job. Specifically, in the ~1 month I've been back on Match..... about 100. I don't want to hit that button 100 times, call me lazy

Oh gosh.  I've heard about this from female friends.  This may be one area where male crazy exceeds female crazy, because I've ignored 95% of incoming messages I've gotten and never had a girl reply all angry that I ignored her.  (For the record, I have enough guy friends to believe that men can be just as crazy as the women they complain about)

I can't say I understand...There's roughly eleventy billion girls on any of those sites.  How can you get so emotionally wrapped up in waiting for a response from one you've had no contact with?   Isn't no response all the response a guy should need?

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 3:51 PM

mr2tony - 2013-02-07 2:43 PM

Big Appa - 2013-02-07 2:18 PM

Kido - 2013-02-07 12:12 PM

turtlegirl - 2013-02-07 12:03 PM  it seems like all these divorced/separated folks get attached awfully quickly.  I've had friends get divorced, engaged, and remarried in the past three years when I haven't had a boyfriend. So that being said, I'm obviously not in any rush.

I think they/we find being single is not what they are used to or in their comfort zone, so they try to get back to what they know.

BUT, I started dating my current when I was still going through the divorce of my first.  Probably just a couple months after the first moved from the house.  I INTENTIONALLY did not ask her to marry me for almost 5 years to put that time in and NOT be the guy that jumps into the next marraige quickly, even though we were exclusive from day one (not planned, but just happened that way that we didn't date anyone else).

Anyway, over 10 years in with the second and it's been brilliant.  I have to be thankfull she gave the "recently divorce/seperated dude" a chance!

I think most of the married people who are posting are on their second marriage so someone had to give you all a chance.

Yes. And it wasn't my friend's ex-wife. Pretty sure Jim's wife wasn't his friend's ex and I know Blueeyedbikergirl's current husband, who is amazingly hot and sexy and great in bed, wasn't her friend's ex. So yes, no problem with dating people who are recently divorced/separated/whatever but I wouldn't ruin a friendship to date someone. To turtlegirl: I don't see wisdom in potentially destroying not only YOUR friendship with this one person but your entire family's friendship with their entire family just so you could date and POSSIBLY make it work. What if it doesn't work? Then what? Then you've probably alienated her entire family and created a rift between her family and yours, and for what, a couple dates and maybe some sexytimes? In the event it does work, you've still lost a lifelong friend and broken created animosity between two families. I don't see it ending well even if they say `Oh surrrre go ahead we don't care.' They do care, if they're good parent/sisters/brothers.

Clearly I'm not looking at "sexytimes" as a goal.  I'm not friends with the sister, I don't know the situation of the breakup, and I'm not the one doing the contacting as of yet.  Personally, I don't like this sister, she's a flake, and I think used the guy b/c he is well to do.  If you've read what I've written, I'm in no way interested in jeopardizing my relationship with the family and my friend.  And I think they know me well enough to know what my intentions are.  Its certainly not "a couple of dates."

Trust what your heart says about the guy. You already know the answer your just looking for confirmation.

Yeti out.

Okay POF users - is this normal?

I signed up for the site 48 hours ago and have received... 48 messages. WTF! I literally can't keep up. Most of them are just "hey" or "whats up" but a lot of them are actual sentences and conversation starting attempts. 

Confession: I only signed up because of one particular person's profile. And he didn't even respond to me  EDIT: he just replied with 8 paragraphs of hilarious. Huh!

Do you POF users get this volume of messages as well?