Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 45)

True.  It's never easier to attract women than when I have one.  I have another suggestion... (based purely on theory.  Perhaps others more experienced in the online dating world can weigh in).

If your profile has been up for a while, take it down.  If the same pool has already read your old profile, they won't even remember why but they'll know your pic/username didn't do it for them before so they won't even click to see the new one.  Sign up with a different name and use a different profile pic, or try a different site.  Just because I know that I recognize the same old pics that I've been ignoring forever.

Also Match has said before that even something as small as updating the text in your profile will move you up in the algorithms and search results. I've noted every time I change even one word I get bombarded with emails.

And you can change your screenname on Match as well, so no need to go through the trouble of registering a new account.  Just change the screenname and change your pic(s).

hope your Valentine's Day was good--I spent the day with my valentine Boxster.

I wanted to compliment on the photo but being completely ignorant about horses, (except that some are fun to ride), I did a quick google search to expand my knowledge. I knew that Porsche has a Boxster model, but was surprised that there was very, very little info on the boxster horse.
In fact, the google image search came up with 100% Porsche images.

Anyway, it is a great photo and I still Know very little about the boxster horse.

Guess I'm also busted for lurking on this thread.

I had a fun date last night (it just happened to be Valentines Day) - we saw the 3D version of Top Gun in the movie theater, but he brought along his iPod, a headphone jack splitter, and 2 pairs of headphones so we could listen to the MST3K version simultaneously. Hilarious laughter at inappropriate times, fun.

But the movie got out before 9 p.m. and I was a little surprised he just walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. Was hoping for a drink or coffee or something after, but it didn't come up (Yes I could have brought it up myself but I just wasn't getting that vibe). 

Then right before I get in the car he suggests we hang out again this weekend. Maybe he's just a slow mover?

Lots of speculating as to the possibilities...work in the morning is an easy one.  He also could be using plays from the dating/players guides - there's a few different versions of it but basically you flirt/whatever and build so the girl thinks you are going to ask her out.  Then when she expects you to, you don't.  It's supposed to cause a little psychological low as she questions if it's her or something she did.  Then when she thinks the encounter is over - that's when you ask her out.  She gets a little rush of relief that nothing is wrong with her, and then subconsciously associates you with this little emotional uplifting.  Allegedly increases chances of getting a positive response.

Or, he's a slow mover.  Some of us are...some girls are hard to read.  That makes us have to think harder as to whether we should risk our fragile egos asking for a follow up.

What makes this even stranger, is that this morning I text and suggest hanging out either tonight or tomorrow. He says dang, already tied up for the weekend but what about Tuesday next week. So in the past 12 hours his weekend got completely booked up? I'm impressed. 

I'm assuming he's dating others - which is cool. 
Or maybe I completely mis-understood the "maybe we could hang out this weekend" banter that was going on at the end of the night. That's possible.

So now we're penciled in for Tuesday, with a text that ends "I like hanging out with you "

LMFAO...

My "system":

If I'm interested and there was a connection, I ask.  If not, I say thanks I had a great time, but I'm not interested in a 2nd date.  Seems a whole lot easier.  

I'm 38 and when guy says "hang out" to me, I put him in the friends column.

I think a lot of times certain terminology puts the feeling of more pressure on both people, which isn't a good thing IMO.  Now, if 2 people have been seeing each other regularly and gotten intimate and one person is still in the "hang out" mode... there's likely an issue

Hmm might be a regional thing. "Hang out" is a common term around here - for lots of things. 
Even being a "word" person and professional communicator, I don't read too much into that term one way or the other. 

He also used the term "take you out" in regards to next week... 

I'll back the guy up.  I hear a lot of complaints that guys are too pushy...  Now one ISN'T, and gets the big thumbs down?

Listen, if too people can see Top Gun with secondary audio and both like it?  That's special right thar!

I took it slow with my future wife (too slow for her, come to find out).  But I thought she was special right from the get go and didn't want to scare her with over aggressiveness.  Ended my first date with a hug and everything.  Not sure if that makes you a flake.

I would be more concerned if he just said that was fun and didn't mention seeing you again AT ALL, not that he used the words "hang out".  I'm a shy guy, so words like "dating" always me uncomfortable, so I used other phrases to basically express that I liked them and just wanted to be together - even just "hang out".

I am with Lisa. I'm all good with the "let's hang out." I'd actually prefer that over "take you out." "I want to take you out next week," always sounded/felt funny to me. I can go out on my own -- I don't need to be taken. What I would like to do is go out (or hang out) together . But, I understand that "take you out" really just means "I like you and want to treat you to a nice night out," so I don't get bothered by it. 

Have fun on Tuesday. Sounds promising.

We should "hang out" means I want to spend time with you.  Don't read too much into the word.  I just like the way it sounds better than "give me some time to evaluate you for mating suitability."  We can hang out, have a good time and if it's awesome, it's awesome. 

As far as going slow - I'm with Kido - kinda.  Basically, it's harder to move quickly in the first dates when I really like a girl and I'm thinking "this one might be a keeper."  If I'm fearlessly moving in on day one...that doesn't mean I don't like you.  But it does mean I'm not worried about losing you off, either.

I like how you guys think.

On a somewhat related topic (in regards to terminology used in these situatins) .... Recently, I was talking to a friend and mentioned the guy I was dating at the time. And my friend replies, "You guys aren't dating, you're just hanging out." And I said, "What do you mean? These are dates we've been going on." And she said, "No, I think it's appropriate to just say you're hanging out and getting to know each other -- you aren't officially dating yet." So confusing! In my mind, you start "dating" a guy on your first date. If you end up getting married and stuff, when you tell your grandkids the story of your first date, it's going to be about that first time you went out. It's not going to be about the first time you went out after you officially declared yourselves to be dating.

Oooh,  I LOVE language and the nuances of different words/phrases. Here's how I interept terms

Dating: A relationship that is more committed than casual. Does NOT specify exclusivity, but implies something more than just having fun. I would not say "I am dating someone" if we've only been out a few times. However, to saying "I'm dating" is appropriate if I am actively going on dates- with anyone. Different uses for the same term. To saying "I'm dating" or "I'm dating around" implies you're actively going on dates and none are that serious.

Seeing someone: A step down from dating. Fun, not many strings attached. Synonym for going out.

Together: You're in a committed relationship. Obvs.

Talking/hanging out: As in, "this guy I'm talking to." Similar to "seeing" someone, although I'd say a small degree less serious.