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This Square is very red

OK, so a guy walks into a bar.  He's got a poodle under one arm and a newspaper under the other....

Gary! Where have you been lately!???!?

Welcome back! (if you were gone...)

Whizzzzzzz

re: "Old Timer's Disease"

"Maybe I should start taking Ginko and Viagra...so at least I'll remember what the fu(k I'm doing from day to day!"

- max

I spent practically all day today reading this entire thread.  A first for me.  I have laughed, and cried b/c I was laughing so hard.... 

Save the thread...

Sheriff Brody to Quint:  "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

B.B. "Eh.... munch munch munch... What's up doc?"

E. F. "SShh... I'm hunting wabbit"

Harry - "You're a very attractive person."

Sally - "Thank you"

Harry - "Amanda never said how attractive you were"

Sally - "Well maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive"

Harry - "I don't think its a matter of opinion.  Imperically you are attractive."

Sally - (gives him an incredulous look as she gets up from the diner booth) "Amanda is my friend."

Harry - "So?"

Sally - "So... you're going with her"

Harry - "So?"

Sally - "So... you're coming on to ME"

Harry - "No I wasn't"

Sally - (gives him another incredulous look)

Harry - "Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come'on?"

Sally - no response

Harry - "Alright.  Let's just say for the sake of argument that is was a come'on.  I take it back, OK?  I take it back."

Sally - "You can't take it back!"

Harry - "Why not?"

Sally - "Because its already out there!"

Harry - "Oh geez what are we supposed to do?  Call the cops its already out there!"

Sally - "Just - let it - lie.  OK?"

Harry - "Great!  Let it lie.  That's my policy.  That's what I always say.  Let it lie."

Harry - "Wanna spend the night in a motel?"

Sally - (looks at him shocked)

Harry - "See what I did?  I didn't let it lie."

Sally - "Harry..."

Harry - "I said I wouldn't and I did"

Sally - "Harry!"

Harry - "I went the other way"

Sally - "Harry!!"

Harry - "Wha?"

Sally - "We are just going to be friends, OK?"

Harry - "Great! Friends... OK.  Its the best thing."

Harry - "You realize, of course, that we could never be friends"

Sally - "Why not?"

Harry - "What I'm saying is... and this is not a come'on in any way, shape or form... is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

Sally - "That's not true.  I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved."

Harry - "No you don't."

Sally - "Yes I do."

Harry - "No you don't."

Sally - "Yes I do!"

Harry - "You only think you do."

Sally - "Are you saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?"

Harry - "No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you."

Sally - "they do not"

Harry - "do too"

Sally - "they do not!"

Harry - "do too!"

Sally - "How do you know?"

Harry - "Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.  He always wants to have sex with her."

Sally - "So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds un-attractive..."

Harry - "No... you pretty much want to nail them too."

Sally - "What if they don't wanna have sex with you?"

Harry - "Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed.  And that is the end of the story."

Sally - "Well I guess we're not gonna be friends then."

Harry - "Guess not."

Sally - "Its too bad.  Because you were the only person that I knew in New York."

Its 3:01am... I can't get back to sleep...  this thread has become an obsession... must... resist...