Political Joe TAN

Champion

34263

Chicago

Subject: RE: Political Joe TAN

Originally posted by gr33n

Originally posted by tuwood

Originally posted by lisac957

Originally posted by tuwood

I need to go refresh my thread where I was "whining" about paying for his college. It has nothing to do with being able to afford college, it has to do with a personal choice to let my kids pay for their own college so they will value it more.
I thought progressives were Pro Choice, so I'm not sure what the big deal is of me choosing how we pay for college.

I was just going to ask what your reasons were for choosing to not pay for your kids college when it appears you could afford to. Not that your money is any business of mine or anyone elses... but it's an interesting discussion.

Have you thought about a hybrid solution - like matching him dollar for dollar on his scholarships or his contributions, or loaning (with minimal interest) him the money yourself and having him pay it back?

I don't want this to come out wrong, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around a parent who can afford to help with something like college tuition - but chooses not to.

I didn't think it came out wrong and is a valid question.

One of the biggest challenges that all parents face is to not spoil their kids to the point that it harms them later in life. I'm sure we all know parents who have "spoiled" their kids to the point that they destroy them as adults. I don't profess to have all the answers, but my wife and I try to do our best to make our kids self sufficient citizens who don't need somebody else to prop them up in life.

We could just hand them off to college and pay for everything, but what does that accomplish? If anything I feel it allows people to just segregate our kids as "rich kids" who had everything handed to them. That's why I find it funny that when we don't actually hand our kids everything and encourage them to build themselves up I get tongue lashed for being greedy. It's a lose lose.

The true funny part is our kids really appreciate the fact that we're doing what we're doing. My son flat out told me that he feels so much better knowing that he's doing things on his own and that he's going to be successful like his Dad on his own.

I think I have some thoughts on this. We are hoping to be able to pay for most of our daughters college educations. Obviously its different strokes for different folks but I'll try and explain as best I can through a head cold induced haze here.

- Background: My older daughter just finished her first semester at one of the leading universities in the US. This not a brag but I mention it because in our case it makes a difference with respect to what and how and if we are willing to pay for. In our case we are more open to paying because of the quality of the education she'll be getting. We would not be open to paying the same amount for a lesser school.
- It also makes a big difference for us that the kid is focused. I fully get that not every kid knows what they want to study or do and need time to discover that. In our case we're fortunate that the daughter knew exactly what she wanted to study and what she intends to do with it post grad. I would be less willing to underwrite the full cost of a few years of discovery.
- In our case the plan is to fund both daughters educations from a combination of savings, current earnings, and a minimal amount of loans in their names. The experience and cost burden (althought majority by me) is shared. I want to give them opportunity but at the same time for them to have a stake in their education.
- I don't want them to have the pressure of looking at 100's of thousands of dollars in debt hanging over their heads as a distraction to getting the education.
- I would have been less willing to fund their educations if the kid did not demonstrate good intent and some degree of focus, ie less likely to spend $50'000 per year on an education with no direction or future prospects for a degree from a less than average school.
- In our case we think we have installed good values in both kids (I know this is always somewhat of a leap of faith as they go off and are exposed to new elements and ways of thinking) and they understand what their priorities should and need to be. AND they know there are limits.

Yeah I don't think just because someone simply pays for their kid's college they're `spoiled.' Example, my dad paid for my brother's college and flight training because my dad was a pilot and wanted my brother to be a pilot. He didn't pay for my college education so instead of sitting around whining about not being able to afford college, I found a way and paid for it on my own. My brother and I both turned out well and have great jobs and so on and so forth. In fact, I know a lot of people whose parents paid for their college and a lot of people who paid their own way and I wouldn't say that one group is any better or worse than the other. The fact is if someone is going to be an ahole, they're going to be an ahole.

Political Joe TAN (Page 6)

REGISTER TODAY