Dear Daughter... (Page 7)
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2013-08-19 7:44 PM in reply to: switch |
Champion 10550 Austin, Texas | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Teejaay Here is how it played out 30 minutes ago ... in real life. So just for fun I thought I'd start a dialogue with my 17 year old, very dry humored and sarcastic, daughter who was sitting on the couch next to me. (I would say I have the same thoughts on all of this as Switch. I have always been open, honest and approachable when it's come to questions over the years about sex and dating and marriage and divorce and addiction, etc. She asked .. I answered.) Me: Hey, honey. I want you to know that I hope you have awesome consensual sex.And that was that. Teejaay, you and your daughter win awesome of the day award! PURE WIN! BTW, please tell your daughter, thank you. "Are you having a seizure?" is going to get worked into my repertoire at regular intervals. OMG - before I even read your response I was thinking that this was going to make frequent appearances in some conversations... Teej, your daughter rocks! |
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2013-08-19 7:53 PM in reply to: 0 |
Pro 15655 | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by KateTri1 Originally posted by switch Originally posted by KateTri1 Kate, I'm sorry you're out of this conversation, but I understand. I would just implore you to think about your last post and how it absolves, and by doing so takes all power away from, the girl for responsiblity for her own choices and reproductive health. In 2013, if we are talking about consensual sex, if a girl gets an STD or gets pregnant, she is responsible for that. Peace. If some teenage boy got one of your teenage daughter's pregnant, or gave her and std.. I doubt any of you dads would be non judgmental of his actions. Peace out, from me on this thread. truth about that Switch.. girls are just as responsible for their actions.. But I don't have a girl, just a boy. My own personal experience has been that more sexual behavior has been initiated by boys though. They generally exert more pressure.. They have a higher sex drive. When I was a teen I loved being noticed, wanted.. and I guess one be tempted to dress and act in a way that would make a boy interested. That doesn't mean that the average teen is mature enough to handle those kinds of pressures and responsibilities. Even though I've opened my mouth a lot on this thread, I've read every response and took them to heart. There are a lot of caring parents on BT. ok.. real thread "peace out". I have 4 daughters and a son.....and that comment is WORLDS away from my experience, especially early teens. Teejay -I know it makes no matter....but I like you better now. Edited by Left Brain 2013-08-19 7:54 PM |
2013-08-19 8:46 PM in reply to: NXS |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by NXS Originally posted by switch Not exactly, a large percentage of them are taken care of with my tax dollars. Originally posted by KateTri1 Kate, I'm sorry you're out of this conversation, but I understand. I would just implore you to think about your last post and how it absolves, and by doing so takes all power away from, the girl for responsiblity for her own choices and reproductive health. In 2013, if we are talking about consensual sex, if a girl gets an STD or gets pregnant, she is responsible for that. Peace. If some teenage boy got one of your teenage daughter's pregnant, or gave her and std.. I doubt any of you dads would be non judgmental of his actions. Peace out, from me on this thread. :) Touche. But, NXS, it really isn't a "large" percentage of them. Of all the women who have sex and get pregnant, you are helping to take care a very small percentage of those children with your tax dollars. |
2013-08-19 8:49 PM in reply to: Teejaay |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by Teejaay Here is how it played out 30 minutes ago ... in real life. So just for fun I thought I'd start a dialogue with my 17 year old, very dry humored and sarcastic, daughter who was sitting on the couch next to me. (I would say I have the same thoughts on all of this as Switch. I have always been open, honest and approachable when it's come to questions over the years about sex and dating and marriage and divorce and addiction, etc. She asked .. I answered.) Me: Hey, honey. I want you to know that I hope you have awesome consensual sex.And you bought it!? |
2013-08-19 8:51 PM in reply to: mr2tony |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by mr2tony Originally posted by Teejaay And you bought it!? Here is how it played out 30 minutes ago ... in real life. So just for fun I thought I'd start a dialogue with my 17 year old, very dry humored and sarcastic, daughter who was sitting on the couch next to me. (I would say I have the same thoughts on all of this as Switch. I have always been open, honest and approachable when it's come to questions over the years about sex and dating and marriage and divorce and addiction, etc. She asked .. I answered.) Me: Hey, honey. I want you to know that I hope you have awesome consensual sex.And that was that. Damn it Tony. That's twice in one day. Teej, I have to admit, I was thinking as I walked to my car...funny, that's exactly the kinda response I would have given to my Mom if I had been planning on having sex that night;) I'm sure your daughter is NOT like that--really! |
2013-08-19 9:26 PM in reply to: switch |
Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
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2013-08-19 10:27 PM in reply to: Teejaay |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by Teejaay She sounds awesome. I really hope you know my comment was a joke about my MO as a kid, and not a comment on your daughter :) She sounds like she definitely has her priorities straight. It took me until my late 20s to figure out that dating "artists" and "musicians" was probably not the best route to remaining financially solvent. Originally posted by switch If you knew her you'd know ...she has no problem sharing her life adventures and such with me and her dad. She's very comfortable sharing it all. The good and the bad and the "Oh hunny, i really did not need to know that". Most times all I can say is "well, then" or "I see". She owns it. That's how I raised her. I'm okay with it. Her standards are high to even date...she won't even date a boy unless he has a car and a job and a plan for his futrue ..Because she has a car and a job and a plan and she doesn't want to be driving his azz all around and paying for everything and watching him sit around playing video games all day. :) Originally posted by mr2tony Originally posted by Teejaay And you bought it!? Here is how it played out 30 minutes ago ... in real life. So just for fun I thought I'd start a dialogue with my 17 year old, very dry humored and sarcastic, daughter who was sitting on the couch next to me. (I would say I have the same thoughts on all of this as Switch. I have always been open, honest and approachable when it's come to questions over the years about sex and dating and marriage and divorce and addiction, etc. She asked .. I answered.) Me: Hey, honey. I want you to know that I hope you have awesome consensual sex.And that was that. Damn it Tony. That's twice in one day. Teej, I have to admit, I was thinking as I walked to my car...funny, that's exactly the kinda response I would have given to my Mom if I had been planning on having sex that night;) I'm sure your daughter is NOT like that--really! |
2013-08-19 10:30 PM in reply to: 0 |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by Teejaay DPOriginally posted by switch If you knew her you'd know ...she has no problem sharing her life adventures and such with me and her dad. She's very comfortable sharing it all. The good and the bad and the "Oh hunny, i really did not need to know that". Most times all I can say is "well, then" or "I see". She owns it. That's how I raised her. I'm okay with it. Her standards are high to even date...she won't even date a boy unless he has a car and a job and a plan for his futrue ..Because she has a car and a job and a plan and she doesn't want to be driving his azz all around and paying for everything and watching him sit around playing video games all day. :) Originally posted by mr2tony Originally posted by Teejaay And you bought it!? Here is how it played out 30 minutes ago ... in real life. So just for fun I thought I'd start a dialogue with my 17 year old, very dry humored and sarcastic, daughter who was sitting on the couch next to me. (I would say I have the same thoughts on all of this as Switch. I have always been open, honest and approachable when it's come to questions over the years about sex and dating and marriage and divorce and addiction, etc. She asked .. I answered.) Me: Hey, honey. I want you to know that I hope you have awesome consensual sex.And that was that. Damn it Tony. That's twice in one day. Teej, I have to admit, I was thinking as I walked to my car...funny, that's exactly the kinda response I would have given to my Mom if I had been planning on having sex that night;) I'm sure your daughter is NOT like that--really! Edited by switch 2013-08-19 10:33 PM |
2013-08-20 4:13 AM in reply to: tuwood |
Expert 1186 North Cackalacky | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by tuwood Originally posted by ScudRunner This thread now has me thinking about the scene in Chasing Amy where they talk about open communication about sex (specifically during) reducing the risk of permanent injury... I'm curious about different folk's reasons for linking sex and marriage so directly and intensely. jford was pretty clear about it, why do the rest of the group on that side of the fence feel that way? Great question, and I'll try to articulate my thoughts on the subject. I'm a Christian and I do believe that the bible is a guide to how we should live our lives. The bible does forbid sex outside of marriage (fornication) as well as adultery and many other things. It's easy for me to say it's as simple as that for me, but it's not. My wife and I have both experienced and had friends who have had a lot of negative things happen as a result of sex outside of marriage. I'm not going to say there aren't any good things out of it, because there are, but personally I feel it does more harm than good. Even before my wife and I were Christians we were strong opponents of sex outside of marriage based on our life experiences. I could probably come up with 100 anecdotes on direct negatives that I've either experienced or people I know have, but I'll just give this one about a guy I met through a prison ministry I work with. He was going to the University of Nebraska as a Sophomore. He had a 4.0 GPA and was a model student. No criminal history of any kind and was a "perfect kid" as far as society was concerned. My oldest heading off to college has been made very well aware of this case. Tony, thanks for the answer. I think my input to your anecdote is that it sounds more like an argument against capricious sex, rather than an argument against sex outside the confines of a marriage. Granted, being married is one way to ensure that you are not engaging in capricious sex, but I don't think it's the only way. |
2013-08-20 6:51 AM in reply to: switch |
New user 900 , | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Originally posted by NXS Originally posted by switch Not exactly, a large percentage of them are taken care of with my tax dollars. Originally posted by KateTri1 Kate, I'm sorry you're out of this conversation, but I understand. I would just implore you to think about your last post and how it absolves, and by doing so takes all power away from, the girl for responsiblity for her own choices and reproductive health. In 2013, if we are talking about consensual sex, if a girl gets an STD or gets pregnant, she is responsible for that. Peace. If some teenage boy got one of your teenage daughter's pregnant, or gave her and std.. I doubt any of you dads would be non judgmental of his actions. Peace out, from me on this thread. Touche. But, NXS, it really isn't a "large" percentage of them. Of all the women who have sex and get pregnant, you are helping to take care a very small percentage of those children with your tax dollars. The parish I live in has one of the highest teen birth rates in the state, and a twice the national average for STD's. It is poor and rural and according to last census data about 65% are single parent households with about 60% on some type of gov. assistance, I suspect it is higher now. So at least where I live it is a large percentage that taxpayers are responsible for. Just because a person has a right to have great sex, it shouldn't mean taxpayers have to foot the bill for its consequences. |
2013-08-20 7:53 AM in reply to: NXS |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by NXS Originally posted by switch The parish I live in has one of the highest teen birth rates in the state, and a twice the national average for STD's. It is poor and rural and according to last census data about 65% are single parent households with about 60% on some type of gov. assistance, I suspect it is higher now. So at least where I live it is a large percentage that taxpayers are responsible for. Just because a person has a right to have great sex, it shouldn't mean taxpayers have to foot the bill for its consequences. Originally posted by NXS Originally posted by switch Not exactly, a large percentage of them are taken care of with my tax dollars. Originally posted by KateTri1 Kate, I'm sorry you're out of this conversation, but I understand. I would just implore you to think about your last post and how it absolves, and by doing so takes all power away from, the girl for responsiblity for her own choices and reproductive health. In 2013, if we are talking about consensual sex, if a girl gets an STD or gets pregnant, she is responsible for that. Peace. If some teenage boy got one of your teenage daughter's pregnant, or gave her and std.. I doubt any of you dads would be non judgmental of his actions. Peace out, from me on this thread. :) Touche. But, NXS, it really isn't a "large" percentage of them. Of all the women who have sex and get pregnant, you are helping to take care a very small percentage of those children with your tax dollars. I COMPLETELY agree with you. Though I do have some very liberal views, I have fairly conservative views when it comes to assistance programs. I believe they should be there in very, very limited amounts, but their current structure enables rather than helps. This is REALLY a separate issue from "great sex". NXS, why do you think the teen pregnancy, STDs, and single-parent household rates are so high in your parish? I know you said it's "poor and rural," but what are the causes underneath that? Education? Lack of opportunity? Lack of or prohibitive access to women's reproductive health services? Every time I lambast the system for "enabling" women to make these choices, I feel the need to provide a viable--read as workable and realistic (abstinence doesn't fit the bill)--solution as an alternative. I always get hung up on the kids who really are innocent victims in this scenario; how do we stop this cycle without deserting these kids? |
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2013-08-20 9:32 AM in reply to: switch |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Goosedog Originally posted by Left Brain No. I just hoped switch was going to post some more race pictures. Goosedog......ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????? You can go lower than that on the bike! |
2013-08-20 9:42 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by msteiner THANK YOU! I know, right? That is exactly what I have been thinking about since seeing those pics and the aggressive set ups of other riders That weekend. My fitter is a roadie, and I'm afraid I really need a fit from someone who's done a lot of triathletes. I really don't have any flexibility issues in my lower body so that shouldn't be a limiter either. I'll get on getting that sorted :)Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Goosedog Originally posted by Left Brain No. I just hoped switch was going to post some more race pictures. Goosedog......ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????? You can go lower than that on the bike! |
2013-08-20 9:43 AM in reply to: switch |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Originally posted by msteiner THANK YOU! I know, right? That is exactly what I have been thinking about since seeing those pics and the aggressive set ups of other riders That weekend. My fitter is a roadie, and I'm afraid I really need a fit from someone who's done a lot of triathletes. I really don't have any flexibility issues in my lower body so that shouldn't be a limiter either. I'll get on getting that sorted Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Goosedog Originally posted by Left Brain No. I just hoped switch was going to post some more race pictures. Goosedog......ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????? You can go lower than that on the bike! Snerk. |
2013-08-20 9:52 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Oh, jeez. BRIAN! |
2013-08-20 9:55 AM in reply to: switch |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Originally posted by msteiner THANK YOU! I know, right? That is exactly what I have been thinking about since seeing those pics and the aggressive set ups of other riders That weekend. My fitter is a roadie, and I'm afraid I really need a fit from someone who's done a lot of triathletes. I really don't have any flexibility issues in my lower body so that shouldn't be a limiter either. I'll get on getting that sorted Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Goosedog Originally posted by Left Brain No. I just hoped switch was going to post some more race pictures. Goosedog......ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????? You can go lower than that on the bike! Sorry. I read the bolded parts exactly as you would expect at 28yr old bachelor to do so. |
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2013-08-20 9:56 AM in reply to: switch |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Oh, jeez. BRIAN! I just spent an hour and a half in a conference call. The mind wanders |
2013-08-20 10:06 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... In all seriousness, I read a post from Dave Luscan (who used to post here a lot and still posts on ST) that said something along the lines of "if you can touch your knees, then you're capable of an aggressive fit". You obviously meet this criteria. It took some work for me to evolve into a better position: 2011: 2012: This year (haven't had a good side profile race shot, so this will have to do): |
2013-08-20 10:07 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by msteiner Believe it or not, that interpretation didn't cross my mind. Let me try again. I would like to see how an experienced tri fitter would set me up ON MY BIKE. Although I have limited shoulder flexibility, I don't have any ROM issues in my legs or back so I should be able to handle a more agressive position--ON THE BIKE. Jeez. :)Originally posted by switch Originally posted by msteiner THANK YOU! I know, right? That is exactly what I have been thinking about since seeing those pics and the aggressive set ups of other riders That weekend. My fitter is a roadie, and I'm afraid I really need a fit from someone who's done a lot of triathletes. I really don't have any flexibility issues in my lower body so that shouldn't be a limiter either. I'll get on getting that sorted :) Originally posted by switch Originally posted by Goosedog Originally posted by Left Brain No. I just hoped switch was going to post some more race pictures. Goosedog......ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????? You can go lower than that on the bike! Sorry. I read the bolded parts exactly as you would expect at 28yr old bachelor to do so. |
2013-08-20 10:12 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by msteiner Those pics are awesome. Did you just slowly lower yourself, or did you work with a bike person to work it out? Did you have a power meter to monitor power output with fit changes? Do you adjust your fit for different length races? In all seriousness, I read a post from Dave Luscan (who used to post here a lot and still posts on ST) that said something along the lines of "if you can touch your knees, then you're capable of an aggressive fit". You obviously meet this criteria. It took some work for me to evolve into a better position: 2011: 2012: This year (haven't had a good side profile race shot, so this will have to do): |
2013-08-20 10:22 AM in reply to: 0 |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by switch Those pics are awesome. Did you just slowly lower yourself, or did you work with a bike person to work it out? Did you have a power meter to monitor power output with fit changes? Do you adjust your fit for different length races? I bought both my bikes from the same bike shop, and because of that, the shop's fitter, who is FIST certified (have fun with that one!), has worked with me in slowly getting more aggressive. My ultimate goal was to get into a position similar to Chris Lieto:
The first major position change came with the purchase of my time trial bike. The more aggressive geometry helped a lot. The last picture was from buying a slightly shorter stem with a -18 degree angle to get lower than the stock stem would allow. I would test the positions on a computrainer at the bike shop to make sure I can produce power, but I also do an interval ride to make sure my HR numbers were in line to similar efforts. I don't think I'd change my position for longer races. I'm pretty comfortable in it. Right now my focus is Olympic distance. One IM was enough fun for me! Edited by msteiner 2013-08-20 10:24 AM |
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2013-08-20 10:31 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Pro 15655 | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Dear Daughter - you can get lower? |
2013-08-20 10:31 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by msteiner A FIST fit (on the BIKE) sounds like a good way to go. Reallt nice pics and helpful info. Thanks for the feedback and help:)Originally posted by switch Those pics are awesome. Did you just slowly lower yourself, or did you work with a bike person to work it out? Did you have a power meter to monitor power output with fit changes? Do you adjust your fit for different length races? I bought both my bikes from the same bike shop, and because of that, the shop's fitter, who is FIST certified (have fun with that one!), has worked with me in slowly getting more aggressive. My ultimate goal was to get into a position similar to Chris Lieto:
The first major position change came with the purchase of my time trial bike. The more aggressive geometry helped a lot. The last picture was from buying a slightly shorter stem with a -18 degree angle to get lower than the stock stem would allow. I would test the positions on a computrainer at the bike shop to make sure I can produce power, but I also do an interval ride to make sure my HR numbers were in line to similar efforts. I don't think I'd change my position for longer races. I'm pretty comfortable in it. Right now my focus is Olympic distance. One IM was enough fun for me! |
2013-08-20 10:36 AM in reply to: Left Brain |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by Left Brain Dear Daughter - you can get lower? Talk about a thread hijack! |
2013-08-20 10:39 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Dear Daughter... Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Left Brain Dear Daughter - you can get lower? Talk about a thread hijack! Sorry about that. |
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