Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 8)

I don't think you did anything wrong...I don't think you had to be more eloquent.  Saying you have plans to go for a ride is not bad.    

When she said "You're blowing me off to go ride your bike!?" - She told you everything you need to know about how supportive of your sport she will be.  

she could have said "Oh, it must be a serious ride" or "you must really be into riding, how many miles per week to you ride?" or "do you have plans to ride with someone else?"  or "well, how long will you be out, maybe we could do lunch"......  There is a million things she could have said different / better than what she did.  

If that's her attitude now, what will it be a year down the road?

Keep in mind - this opinion is coming from a single triathlete who can't get a date himself.  LOL

While that is true (I had the one guy that asked me to stay and cuddle. I told him to cuddle himself, I'm going to bike), I personally can't stand the triathletes that have to go to bed at 8:00 to get up for a 6:00 bike ride.  Its ok.  Bend a little.  Meet up at 8.  Leave at 9:30.  Make a bit of an effort. Start  your ride at 7.  Or get up early, then nap after.  You can't be so inflexible, after all, we're not pros.  We don't "have" to do anything. 

I will give up my bike time to go on a date, but if it turns out to be a bust, boy am I fuming.  However, you do have to try if you ever want to meet someone.  That being said, it would be great if my tri club and tri team actually had some single people on it!  All great folks, but darn if they all aren't happily married!

Bingo.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

JASpencer - it sounds like you shut her down. Maybe there was more to what you said, but from what you offered it sounded like you missed an opportunity. You do still have to eat dinner the night before your bike, right?

Hmm, I would have gone to dinner. A race is one thing, but even if it was a race I'd at least explain the situation and have an early drink and a bite. For a training ride? Two drinks and if it was a good date would enjoy myself and suck it up while training and take a nap afterwards.

Seriously, do you get asked out all the time?

this scene kept popping into my head...not that your situation is the same...

You daft !  LMAO.  That was funny.  

Classic.  I'm going to remember that one.    

I do agree that he could have made an effort, but that's just me.  

Maybe he doesn't have the time to play with.  He might be busy, might work on Saturday, could be a single dad that has to pick up the kids.  There could be a million reasons why sticking to his schedule was important to him.  Maybe he is just a very, very organized and meticulous person who plans out his entire week.  Regardless, it was important to HIM to do his bike the next day, and he is probably looking for someone that accepts him for that.  You and I may not agree - but no matter how "quirky" someone may be, they should not have to change who they are for a potential partner.  Someone will come along that will say - "I understand, how long are you biking for?  Maybe we could grab lunch after?" - instead of "Your blowing me off for a bike ride?" - Her response has insecurity written all over it. (IMHO)

Ok - So I think a good way to summarize the feedback would be: I have no grounds to complain about being single if I don't suck it up and put myself out there. (Another instance of HTFU in my life? Super.) Brian...LOL, no I don't and I hope I didn't come off as being pretentious or something. No youtube at work so I'll have to check that later...

EDIT: Oh and the other take away, don't say no, propose an alternative.

no not at all.  But just offering what she may be thinking.  I would interpret it as not interested.

You didn't come off as pretentious to me & say "No" if you want to, just depends on what is more important to you.  My opinion is that if the bike is more important than a night out with a girl, you need a girl that accepts you for that.  

Eggs actly!  

^^ this I like.  I agree, it often becomes an issue down the road. Better to know now!

He doesn't even have to explain why. A simple "I'd love to have cocktails and dinner, but I can't make it Friday night. How about Saturday?"

Did smooth go out of style?

Not out of style, I'm just off the market.

No, I just know for me it's so rare if there was even the slightest interest I'd have jumped on it....so to speak.

I hear it all the time about needing to put myself out there. I just don't want to have to pretend to be something I'm not just to meet or date someone. Already had someone tell me to p*** off because I wasn't willing to meet them at a bar and buy them a drink after she texted me at 10pm on a Wednesday night. I was already in bed. There's spontaneous, and then there's demanding. I lived with 18 years of demanding, my radar is fully attuned...

This.  "No, because..." is hardly ever a recipe to get anywhere but "No, however..." can tend to work wonders.

I found one that when I said "Yes, but I need to make it an early night because I have a long ride/run tomorrow" replied with "Sweet, can I join?".  

WWsingleCOJdo?

A guy I went out with a few times just got accepted to pharmacy school in a different state, pretty far away. He is still interested in going out until he moves. I don't see the point, unless it's just as friends. Do you?

No, quite the opposite. I am not very open to long distance relationships unless it is a very VERY special circumstance. I am not wired to deal well with that kind of situation.