First massage checklist and quick question or two.

Wow, you have really overthought this planned this out.

How about:

7. Relax and remember the massage is supposed to be enjoyable.  

Most of it was written tongue-in-cheek.  I was serious about the last questions though.

Frankly, I'm anticipating pain.  My legs and back are a wreck. 

Huh? That's a lot of thoughts for a massage.

I usually just undress in the massage room... the therapist leaves and gives you a chance to do that.

I always keep my underwear on. Clean = good. The only time I shower right before a massage is if I just got done with a workout.

Glute work is usually done on top of the sheet, and at least in my experience, involves more forearm and elbow into the muscle and not hands...

Really, it's supposed to be relaxing. Quit overthinking it!

.... and an extra $5? 

Thanks.

Would a mod please delete this thread to save me from further heckling? 

Make sure you ask for full release...

Just kidding.... don't do that...

Well, that's not always the case.

I was in Singapore a couple years ago and got an in-room massage at the hotel (LEGITIMATE!!).  The masseuse walked in, spread a large towel on top of the bed, looked at me and said, straight up:  "Okay.  You take off robe now and lay down."

Well, actually "full release" is not the appropriate term for it.  I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. 

I thought it more appropriate than happy ending....

No...do do that. And then tells us how it went.

I get massage all the time.  I personally just keep my boxers on.  A good therapist will drape you appropriately regardless, so don't worry about it.

The key is telling your therapist what you need worked on BEFORE the massage.  Let them know if the pressure is too light or too deep.  And when they do go deep, BREATH.  Do not hold your breath, it'll hurt more.

Enjoy.

Let is know if you are happy in the end.....of the massage.

Wow.  I actually feel lighter.

It was a pretty cool, relaxing, painful, soothing, stressing, leveling experience.  I'll certainly be back.

For the record, no boxers and no happy ending.  She did go for an hour and twenty minutes on a one hour bill.  After I met her, the only time I felt uncomfortable was after a particularly painful trigger point.  She told me that had elbow UNDER my scapula.  I tipped her very well.

Finding a good therapist is hard.  Looks like you got lucky.  Book your next appt now before you forget how much it helps.