Spouse as training partner – different ability levels

My husband and me both do Triathlons and we both train a lot but unfortunately we hardly ever train together.

Speeds are just so different (he is super fast and I am slow).

We bike together maybe once every 2 weeks when he needs a recovery ride but I usually feel guilty even that of keeping him from going faster and makes me feel bad that I can´t keep up so we don´t do it too often.

We never run together - just not possible.

But we go to the pool together once or twice a week and while we both do our individual workouts at least we have some time afterwards to sit and relax in the Hot Pots.

In the beginning it really bumped me out that we can hardly train together but you get used to it and doing most of my training alone I am usually very prepared for the TRIs and the race just with myself against myself.

Some of the others have given lots of good ideas. But if you run or bike with her, never make her feel as if she is slowing you down because that probably does not make her feel to good...do it only if you really want to.

Otherwise it might help if she finds another training buddy with the same speed.

I think it's great that she is interested to start running again,, and even more so wants to be with working out with you.

the good news is that even though she is only doing a couple of miles now, she will get faster and be able to work up to longer distances.   I see someone mentioned track workout, and having her bike while you run, but she might be faster on the bike than you can run or soon will be.  

You mentioned that she used to be a runner so it should come back to her and I'm sure she already realizes that people have different paces.    Is there a loop that the both of you could do to get her 1-2 miles in, and you would treat that as a warm up.  
  While most people dislike treadmills, do you both go to a gym where you could run side by side??

whatever you do remember she is your wife and wants to spend time with you in a healthy way... that is a really great thing

My wife is getting ready to train for her first tri and we have worked out together off and on for years.  I've found that it's better for her to join me at the end of a run then the begining.  It let's me focus on my run and it's lets up finish together which is good for her moral.  Bike works the same way and swimming isn't a problem.

Yep, I'm another person in the same situation. My SO is faster than me. We can ride together for recovery rides, or if the ride isn't too hilly, I "motorpace" off of him. It's good training. We can also do an out and back (or uphill and down) route together, so that if I get dropped, I just get back on when I see him on the back portion.

I try to find as many opportunities to train with my wife as possible.  She's close to my ability in the swim, less close on the bike...and miles behind me on the run.  So we opt for as much stuff where we can be together as we can realistically schedule.

Going to the pool together from time-to-time works...early morning at the local pool, we often can split a lane.  Partnering on ocean swims is fine...I'm usually not concerned with speed there and she's very close anyway.

Biking, I'll sometimes ride with her for her long rides and stay at her pace, esp. if we can incorporate some hills.  Or on my IM training rides, I'll do the first, say 40 miles alone on a loop where I can pick her up for a 50-mile segment (she just did her first HIM).  Or the reverse:  Start with her for 50 and drop her off at home and continue solo.

Running is pretty tough to do together:  When she was first starting to run three years ago, I'd sometimes go out with her as a second run of the day.  More recently, we've adopted a strategy of doing weekend long runs on the same loop course...she'll do fewer miles than me, but we start and finish at our car in the lot at that park.  A couple times when she had a tough "milestone" run planned (first-ever 8 miler was one and recently her first 20-miler before first marathon), I've opted to schedule my training so that I can run with her.

This past weekend was pretty cool:  Her first HIM on the same course I was doing my first IM.  Only saw each other once on the course due to differing start times for the two races, but great to have trained up together to those milestones.

My husband and I do group rides on Sundays so we can go our own speeds while still riding w/ others.  If it's just Ted and I riding, I loop back for him regularly if he's riding easier than I want to.

Swimming together is easy at the pool, obviously.  He makes sure I don't drown in OWS which means he gets to tread water lots -- I'm slow!

Running together only happens at the track -- he walks and I run.  Neither of us likes that much -- too boring!  On my longest runs he'll ride his mtn bike alongside to keep me company and refill my water, but usually I run w/ my dog.

For my races, he volunteers so he's not bored standing around all day.

It's easier for us since I'm the one with the training plan and racing and he's very easygoing and happy to do whatever.  My training makes sure he gets out more than he would on his own.

Some good suggestions for joint training.  The warm-up/cool-down period is an opportunity for a slower spouse to join in the fun.  Other times, spend some of the "leisure time" focusing on drills and technique.  On the bike, you can do some one-legged drills or high-cadence spinning without riding away from someone.  Be consciencious about how your slower spouse perceives these drills and avoid a "show off" attitude.  Load down the bike with the trailer and kids, or extra gear for the two of you.  Running?  Carry the water bottles and run ahead or loop around to get water for the two of you, just keep the time away to a minimum (1-2 minutes).  Ride along while you run can be a great start. 

Remember you are partners.  Most of us are not coaches and while we may know a lot about what we are doing, professional coaching is far cheaper than either marriage counseling or divorce attorneys.  Those of you who are coaches, you can decide whether to take on your spouse as a client.