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a "what not to say to your wife" PSA
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 2011-07-15 9:12 AM |
Champion  4942     Richmond, VA |  Subject: a "what not to say to your wife" PSAGot home last night, was distracted by a work thing, dead tired and two little boys jumping up and down screaming if we can go to the pool. So I say to my wife, c'mon join us. She demurs, so I persist. Part of her reasoning is that she doesn't want to get in a swimsuit. Then, she says, "I can't go, they've outlawed whaling." Again, I was totally distracted. And to be honest, this comment doesn't quite make sense. A good husband would say "Honey, you are being silly. You look great in your swimsuit. Join us." but no, not me. So what do I say? ... "all the more reason it is safe for you to join us." it took about half a nanosecond before that part of your brain that goes WHAT went off. That coincided with the stare/glare now emanating from my lovely wife's face. in the immortal words of Scooby Doo - "rut roh" ---- In the end we all had a big laugh over it, but it was touch and go for a second there... |
| 2011-07-15 9:15 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Regular 135 | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA wow. husband of the year. |
| 2011-07-15 9:21 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Champion 4835 Eat Cheese or Die | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." I found it quite amusing. Not sure why. I will admit I have a 12 year old's sense of humor. So she comes home from picking up some things at babies r us. As usual, I'm not really paying attention because I just don't care. She pulls out a play mat shaped like a Hippopotamus and says "Look, a hippo." Anyone see where this is going? So without thinking at all about what I'm saying I mutter "You're a Hippo." As soon as it left my mouth I realized what I'd just said and knew I was in for it. 5 years later and I still have to hear about calling her a Hippo when she was 8 months pregnant. I'm a terrible husband. |
| 2011-07-15 9:21 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Champion 18680  Lost in the Luminiferous Aether | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA Luckily my husband has learned to take my verbal lapses in stride. For him it is now a game to see how long it takes me to realize what I just said and go "Wait, No, that IS NOT what I meant". |
| 2011-07-15 9:28 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Master 3195 Just South of Boston | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA |
| 2011-07-15 9:35 AM in reply to: #3597987 |
Champion 10018 , Minnesota Bronze member | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA I've read this a bunch of times and don't get why she would be upset by that. Yeah, you didn't go with the safe comment, but you didn't actually call her a whale either. Women!  I think if she's going to be passively fishing for compliments she needs to develop a thick skin in the event that someone doesn't play along. |
| 2011-07-15 9:47 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Champion 4942 Richmond, VA | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA my first line of defense was to assert that her statement didn't make any sense to begin with because it isn't an argument supporting NOT going to the pool. She was making an argument FOR going and in-fact I was just being supportive by supporting her argument. that line of arguing was quickly shot down. granted, in reality, we were laughing about this the whole time. it was more funny that anything, but it was one of those conversations afterwards where you think "did I really just infer my wife is a whale?" |
| 2011-07-15 9:53 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Pro 4723 CyFair | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA Luckily my wife would shoot back with how I've become a bean pole from running so much and that I need to eat a cheeseburger. |
| 2011-07-15 10:07 AM in reply to: #3597969 |
Elite 2729 Puyallup, WA | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 7:21 AM Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." ....
Thanks Dave! That made me laugh for a good 30 seconds! I loved the "You're a toaster..." |
| 2011-07-15 10:13 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Pro 6838 Tejas | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA I'm not excusing your comment but... this sounds like a classic "set you up to fail" scenario. My wife pulls these stunts on me frequently. She's had enough of the screaming kids and just wants you to take them away from her, hit the couch with a glass of wine and enjoy some quiet time. You did wind up taking the kids to the pool and she stayed home right? That job thing, my wife has suggested that I have the luxury of "going to work and not having to entertain the kids." Womens is sneaky like that. ETA - The only correct response was, "Let's go to the pool boys. Honey, I'll stop and pick up dinner on the way home." Edited by mdg2003 2011-07-15 10:21 AM |
| 2011-07-15 10:35 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Expert 1164 New Port Richey | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA One day my girlfriend, her daughter and I were going to the Yankees-Phillies spring training game. I noticed she shaved her legs and I told her I shaved my uni-brow and trimmed my nose hair for the game.....I then I looked at her and asked her if she wanted to borrow my nose hair trimmers....That took all the fun out of the rest of the day. |
| 2011-07-15 10:44 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Pro 4313 McKinney, TX | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA My only thought was "that's the best a lawyer could come up with"...... I'm seconding mdg's comment...... Say nothing and you're agreeing with her. Say anything and it's a pillow and throw blanket on the couch. Edited by bradleyd3 2011-07-15 10:44 AM |
| 2011-07-15 10:58 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Champion 16151 Checkin' out the podium girls | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA If she tees it up like that, I'm taking out the driver. No way I'm laying up with a 5 iron. |
| 2011-07-15 10:59 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA This made me guffaw. |
| 2011-07-15 11:10 AM in reply to: #3597942 |
Extreme Veteran 424 Lockport, IL | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA This all comes down to training the connection between your brain and mouth. To whit - anything along the lines of "Don't be silly..." won't fly because then you are calling her silly. Do not pass Go yadda yadda yadda. The lack of logic in her "whaling" comment is immaterial. I have a pretty good filter, and at times if I have something ascerbic yet rip-roaring hilarious to say, I would in this case get past the point of getting her to go and then providing it's not going to cause a conflagration, tell her "This might have made you angry but I think it's damn funny..." I've gotten my wife to laugh hysterically on many of these occasions and also saved myself from bursting by holding in a witty riposte. Good luck living this one down. I foresee her getting loads of mileage out of it. mdg2003 - you're a wise man. I work from home and manage 3 to 5 kids during the summer and some holidays. I don't get to hear "You get to go to work." Edited by robburkett 2011-07-15 11:13 AM |
| 2011-07-15 11:19 AM in reply to: #3598151 |
Expert 1186 North Cackalacky | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA pitt83 - 2011-07-15 10:58 AM If she tees it up like that, I'm taking out the driver. No way I'm laying up with a 5 iron. This. To do anything else would be to treat my wife as a second-class citizen not worthy of my magnificent wit. Edited by ScudRunner 2011-07-15 11:20 AM |
| 2011-07-15 12:16 PM in reply to: #3598023 |
Champion 11641 Fairport, NY | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA uhcoog - 2011-07-15 10:53 AM Luckily my wife would shoot back with how I've become a bean pole from running so much and that I need to eat a cheeseburger. Were I to say something like this, my wife would shoot back with nothing smaller than a .22 |
| 2011-07-15 12:20 PM in reply to: #3597969 |
| Master 2083 Houston, TX | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 9:21 AM Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." I found it quite amusing. Not sure why. I will admit I have a 12 year old's sense of humor. So she comes home from picking up some things at babies r us. As usual, I'm not really paying attention because I just don't care. She pulls out a play mat shaped like a Hippopotamus and says "Look, a hippo." Anyone see where this is going? So without thinking at all about what I'm saying I mutter "You're a Hippo." As soon as it left my mouth I realized what I'd just said and knew I was in for it. 5 years later and I still have to hear about calling her a Hippo when she was 8 months pregnant. I'm a terrible husband.
I thought I was the only one who did this. Quite fun, I must say. But yes, it can get you in trouble from time to time. |
| 2011-07-15 12:25 PM in reply to: #3597942 |
| Master 2083 Houston, TX | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA condorman - 2011-07-15 9:12 AM Got home last night, was distracted by a work thing, dead tired and two little boys jumping up and down screaming if we can go to the pool. So I say to my wife, c'mon join us. She demurs, so I persist. Part of her reasoning is that she doesn't want to get in a swimsuit. Then, she says, "I can't go, they've outlawed whaling." Again, I was totally distracted. And to be honest, this comment doesn't quite make sense. A good husband would say "Honey, you are being silly. You look great in your swimsuit. Join us." but no, not me. So what do I say? ... "all the more reason it is safe for you to join us." it took about half a nanosecond before that part of your brain that goes WHAT went off. That coincided with the stare/glare now emanating from my lovely wife's face. in the immortal words of Scooby Doo - "rut roh" ---- In the end we all had a big laugh over it, but it was touch and go for a second there...
On the bright side, it's a better response than "honey, no one cares about that." Yours at least had humor attached to it. |
| 2011-07-15 12:29 PM in reply to: #3598311 |
Champion 4835 Eat Cheese or Die | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA jgaither - 2011-07-15 12:20 PM graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 9:21 AM Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." I found it quite amusing. Not sure why. I will admit I have a 12 year old's sense of humor. So she comes home from picking up some things at babies r us. As usual, I'm not really paying attention because I just don't care. She pulls out a play mat shaped like a Hippopotamus and says "Look, a hippo." Anyone see where this is going? So without thinking at all about what I'm saying I mutter "You're a Hippo." As soon as it left my mouth I realized what I'd just said and knew I was in for it. 5 years later and I still have to hear about calling her a Hippo when she was 8 months pregnant. I'm a terrible husband.
I thought I was the only one who did this. Quite fun, I must say. But yes, it can get you in trouble from time to time. Wow, someone else who's as ridonkulous as me. :thumbsup: |
| 2011-07-15 5:52 PM in reply to: #3598346 |
Veteran 303 | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 12:29 PM jgaither - 2011-07-15 12:20 PM graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 9:21 AM Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." I found it quite amusing. Not sure why. I will admit I have a 12 year old's sense of humor. So she comes home from picking up some things at babies r us. As usual, I'm not really paying attention because I just don't care. She pulls out a play mat shaped like a Hippopotamus and says "Look, a hippo." Anyone see where this is going? So without thinking at all about what I'm saying I mutter "You're a Hippo." As soon as it left my mouth I realized what I'd just said and knew I was in for it. 5 years later and I still have to hear about calling her a Hippo when she was 8 months pregnant. I'm a terrible husband.
I thought I was the only one who did this. Quite fun, I must say. But yes, it can get you in trouble from time to time. Wow, someone else who's as ridonkulous as me. :thumbsup: I do this as well. But, to make it even more juvenile, I typically say "Your FACE is a [insert silly item here]". As for the OP, I apparently am not much of a chick because I read what he wrote and I found no offense and was like, 'isn't that a compliment?'. It took me a moment to reread and get where the implied insult came in. |
| 2011-07-15 7:47 PM in reply to: #3597942 |
Master 2468 Muskego, Wisconsin | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA |
 2011-07-18 2:19 PM in reply to: #3597942 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2011-07-18 2:40 PM in reply to: #3597942 |
| Master 2477 Oceanside, California | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA I love this thread for no other reason than it make me feel better about my un"methyl-phenidated" self. I even blogged on what it was like doing this type of stuff everyday.
http://askdreric-schoolpsychologist.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-adhd-story-part-6-current-day.html
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| 2011-07-18 2:40 PM in reply to: #3598958 |
| Extreme Veteran 6066 Montreal, QC | Subject: RE: a "what not to say to your wife" PSA Kimmyt - 2011-07-15 6:52 PM graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 12:29 PM I do this as well. But, to make it even more juvenile, I typically say "Your FACE is a [insert silly item here]". As for the OP, I apparently am not much of a chick because I read what he wrote and I found no offense and was like, 'isn't that a compliment?'. It took me a moment to reread and get where the implied insult came in. jgaither - 2011-07-15 12:20 PM Wow, someone else who's as ridonkulous as me. :thumbsup:graceful_dave - 2011-07-15 9:21 AM Nice... I did something similar when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first. When I wasn't really paying attention to her I'd just repeat back "You're a (insert last thing she said here)." For example: Her - "Dave can you get the toaster out?" Me - "You're a toaster." I found it quite amusing. Not sure why. I will admit I have a 12 year old's sense of humor. So she comes home from picking up some things at babies r us. As usual, I'm not really paying attention because I just don't care. She pulls out a play mat shaped like a Hippopotamus and says "Look, a hippo." Anyone see where this is going? So without thinking at all about what I'm saying I mutter "You're a Hippo." As soon as it left my mouth I realized what I'd just said and knew I was in for it. 5 years later and I still have to hear about calling her a Hippo when she was 8 months pregnant. I'm a terrible husband.
I thought I was the only one who did this. Quite fun, I must say. But yes, it can get you in trouble from time to time. My 17 year old "too cool" female cousin *pretends* to hate it when I pull out the "Your Face" comments. I know that not so secretly, she finds me hilarious. And she'd be right. |
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