Strangest thing to ever happen at your workplace (Page 3)

WINNER! 

So, what's the strangest thing you've seen here?

dmbfan4life20 - 2012-02-02 10:57 AM I work in Law Enforcement, I could go on for hours in this thread

We have time - go ahead.

axteraa - 2012-02-02 10:27 AM

dmbfan4life20 - 2012-02-02 10:57 AM I work in Law Enforcement, I could go on for hours in this thread

We have time - go ahead.

Let me think about the last 5 years and I will try to drum up some of the most classic ones I can remember and re-post later.

wow.  I don't know that anyone can top that one

And in the closure meeting, he actually said " he thought we were very disrespectful and discriminatory towards Parker" and would like it documented in meeting minutes. 

Hey listen, the bear makes me more productive.  This way I have 2 hands to type. 

I have some pretty odd ones, considering just some of the many interesting jobs I've had: as a first responder, for an organization that later became a nation, a dog trainer in LA with a celeb client list, as a slightly off-the-wall college instructor ...

A funny one: I did well as a college instructor, and persons of interest (most commonly other instructors/professors but a few celebrities as well) often wanted to make sure their children got into my classes. A professor in my department (a close friend) asked me what I'd like as a thank-you gift for getting his son in my class. I said, jokingly, "A red silk thong!"

The next day a big pink-wrapped box with frilly ribbons appears in my (open) mail cubby on the wall of department mailboxes. I'd forgotten about our little conversation; I had no idea what or who it was from, and it was a very busy time of day with lots of instructors and admins milling around. I grabbed the box and opened it, with plenty of people gophering, "What is it? Who's it from?"

I pull out from the fluffy layers of pink and red crepe ... a red silk thong. Total silence.

Someone says, "Is that from one of your STUDENTS???"

"Oh no, of course not!" I answered, and added without thinking, "it's from the father of one of my students."

Our department head, whose office was right next to the mailboxes, had appeared in his doorway. Fortunately he was used to my, um, oddness, and remarked: "I'm just going to pretend I neither saw nor heard that," and went back in his office.

Was Parker the bear hot ? Male/Female? What would happen after the relations as far as, well, you know...

I discouraged not encourage.....the dirty talk was the weirdest cause other cubers could hear him. 

Eww! Just EWWWWWW!

Just thought of another one.

I was working as a chemical operator on night shift. I was walking through the break room.

There was another operator in the room by himself and he hadn't notice I walked in and I over heard him reading the box of his Hungry Man frozen dinner (I might add the gentleman has a speech impediment which I'm not to make fun of, but it did add a surreal element to the situation) ;

Him, speaking very slowly: "Contains....no....MSG!  What the f**k is MSG? Who gives a F**k about MSG? I don't give a f**k about MSG."

I slowly backed out of the room and let him eat his lunch in peace. 

Strangest thing to ever happen at your workplace? How much time do you have?

I worked off/on for 10 years at Dick's Last Resort Restaurant in Dallas, TX. Some small footnotes:

- One waiter accidentally caught a customer on fire, everyone was ok

- My friend for Halloween, worked that night dressed as an unborn fetus...he won, and was told to go home

- Naked drunk girl chased her naked boyfriend through the restaurant. No one told them to stop

- While being known as a Bachelorette Party Mecca, male strippers would come in all the time and dance in the middle of the restaurant for the girls...I would "compete" against them like a dance-off, and try to win more tips

- My friend hijacked the Olympic Torch Parade that went right by the restaurant, lighting some paper on fire and running down the street.  They all started clapping for him and cheering him on until they realized the real runner was about 50 yards behind him.  Man, those people felt dumb.

- Homeless man in a wheelchair came in one day asking for money and food.  When he didn't like the answer we gave him, he stood up screaming and walked out without the wheelchair

-On nights when I didn't feel like waiting tables, I would sit in the wheelchair and act completely incoherent (I know this is terrible), and the other waiters would park me at a table for 30 min to an hour while I drooled all over the table and myself. One lady got so freaked out she started crying, wanting to know why no one was taking care of me.

The R Rated stories I will keep to myself.

Not as racy as most of you... but I just remembered.

For our newest facility's grand opening event, one of the reporters we invited got lost. First he blamed ME and my map for mis-guiding him. Then when I saw him, he came up to me and "jokingly" put his hands around my neck, saying "Your map! Your f*#$ing map got me lost!" playing like he was strangling me and cussing all over the place.

A. I had never met this person in my life.
B. Nobody touches my neck without permission, it freaks me out. Let alone acting like you are strangling me. No no no.
C. I should have called security but calmly walked away and then got distracted by other tasks. I was proud of that but dang he should have been escorted out.
D. He was immediately deleted from our media list. 

A few months later this guy sends me a LinkedIn request.
Delete!
  

I worked for the Palestinian government while it was transitioning from being the PLO to being the Palestinian Authority (leading up to and in the wake of the Oslo Accords).

I fired a guy for peeing all over the bathroom our manufacturing company shared with a construction company. He did it three times before the construction guys finally figured out who it was. Then I had to keep them from beating him up.

Same company...broke up a fight between two women. They were all Hmong and I didn't understand what they were saying to each other. Once translated, I should've let the one beat the other. She was telling the other how she was going to get her man to sleep with her. The biggest surprise was the man was defending the woman who was not his wife.

Same company...my boss walks through the lunchroom one day and yells, "Wooo! Who came through here with a flit-shinger?" Their food did not always smell the best. Yes, I followed him to his office and he later apologized to the entire group.

While working at McDonald's in high school, my future wife forgot to turn on the exhaust fans. Heat triggered the Ansul system and blue powder rained down on everything. Store opened 3 hours late from clean-up.

The scariest: 15 people were set up to test ballasts for halogen light fixtures...supervisor didn't check to make sure insulating pads where under the test fixtures as test benches were always covered in a grounding plastic type covering to dissipate static electricity when working on circuit boards...when they powered up the first one, 15 people were thrown back about 10 feet and the whole plant lost power. Luckily nobody died.

I used to work in a distribution center/warehouse for a pharmaceutical company.  I was a member of the voluntary Emergency Response Team which helped handle both medical and haz mat incidents.  One night a female worker with a history of problems (mainly attendance but also 'medical') staged an accident with a forklift and a pallet of product in the hopes of receiving time off for workman's comp. The worst part is we had to treat her and the incident like it was real although there is no possible way it could have happened the way she claimed it happened.  That was tough.

Another uncomfortable occurrence was catching people doing things behind the stacks of product doing things, well, they shouldn't be doing, like sleeping, and actions related to eating pizza.

But perhaps the strangest thing that ever happened to me was a co-worker decided to show me and another guy that was nearby his new, uh, genital piercing and whipped it out right there in the middle of the warehouse aisle.  Weird.

15 years ago I was a rent-a-cop and normally worked the HUD housing projects, which were pretty violent when we took over the contracts. One night I was working a nice hotel for a change and was just walking the floors bored out of my mind. This hotel had it's laundry facilities in the basement and used the old vents as laundry chutes. They had porthole covers like on a ship, with wire-reinforced class. I noticed that one was broken, so I figured I'd let management know and I kept walking. A few meters down the hall I noticed a small trail of blood on the wall. I followed the blood down the hall to the service stairs and down from the 3rd floor to the basement where it went to the service elevator. I pressed the button for the elevator and when the doors opened I was not prepared for the Freddy Kruger mess that I saw. There was blood on the freaking ceiling of the elevator, and a HUGE puddle on the floor!! I called for the police and EMS and we started trying to figure out where the dismembered body was. Turns out it was a honeymooning couple that had gotten into an argument. He had diluted his alcohol-system with a little blood and when he punched the glass it cut his pinky. He proceeded to pour highly-duluted blood all over the freaking place until he passed out. All from a tiny little cut on his pinky!

His wife had passed out in the enclosed parking garage after starting their truck with the intention of leaving. She almost committed unintentional suicide.

Wow!  You witnessed a team attempt for Darwin Awards!

I'd not thought of it that way before, but that's pretty accurate. It's amazing how much blood someone can lose from a tiny cut.