Greatest obstacle for woman?

I think the answer is the same for men as it is for women - the person in the mirror is the greatest obstacle.

I don't think in terms of WHO is stopping me from reaching my goals. I simply think in terms of HOW I will reach my goals.

My mom never taught me to be a feminist or any kind of ist. She taught me to be an adult who doesn't rely on anyone but herself. And she wonders how I got so willful. I am my mother's daughter.

Oh no you didn't. Heh. 

Either that or Tia Tequila. 

Thanks for giving me a reason to drink a few more beers.....then I'm going to try again to see if I can figure that out.  This could be a long night. 

I think it would paint a more accurate picture to mention that more women are graduating from college than men; more women are getting advanced degrees than men. At this point, more working women than men aged 25 and above hold college degrees.  So this question about what is holding women back is loaded with misconceptions, or at the least does not reflect the positive momentum and prospects for the female employment market.

Eh.....If I offended you in the past I apologize. (no, I don't remember)  

I'm always working to find a balance between the guy who used to be a bonafide athlete and the "old" guy who just enjoys still being in the game.

Believe me, I'm a bigger fan of cancer survivors than I am of former athletes.....even if I can't figure out what they are talking about.  

Be proud!  That's a tough road for anyone to get through.  The fact that you still have a sense of humor is all the testament you need.  ~bows~

I think there is an enormous difference in what is the greatest obstacle for women in developed countries, and conversely in developing countries.

In some developing countries, a major obstacle for females is simply being born.

And then getting to stay alive until adulthood.

And then having choices in adulthood.

In developing countries, and I have unbelievably much to back me up on this, the #1 solution not just to social equality for women, but DEVELOPMENT of the poorer segments of society as a whole is ... educating little girls.

Educating little girls (more so than little boys, though that is of course of paramount importance as well) has a ripple effect of increasing the quality of life for her entire future family. While in many places there's the problem of a lack of opportunity once little girls are educated and grow up, those who are have a sneaky way of creating opportunity and development.

I'll have to think a little more about what I see the single greatest obstacle for women in the developed world is. But I'm inclined to agree with Shelly and Renee.

Wait.....what??

If you agree with BOTH of them then I don't have enough beer. 

yanti makes a very valid point.  in america and europe, the answer is not the same as it is in rural india or africa.  there - it really is just plain old being a woman.

here?  great question.  i've worked for several companies and industries of varying amounts of "boys club."  and women are now a part of the boys club.  i look at why i personally am not being shuttled up the ladder and it's NOT because i'm a woman.  it's because i undersell my accomplishments (a product of my upbringing and mommy issues, not of being female.)  i don't like to brag, so i never do it.  so i don't get recognized for my achievements at work.  so i don't get promotions.  i can't imagine all women are like that - i work with two great examples of the opposite.  but not "bragging" about yourself will hold a man back just the same.

i'm not sure that in america what is holding back (some) women is any different than what is holding back (some) men...

I think it is the fact that women must be "superwomen" and do it all.  In my generation (I'm in my 50's) women were encouraged to work and raise a family.  We tended to do all the things related to child rearing, house cleaning, cooking, etc. etc. etc. -while also holding down full time jobs. 

I chose to put my career on hold, work "part time" and raise my two boys.  I am happy to say that the oldest is graduating in June with degrees in both mechanical and aerospace engineering, and has had three job offers.  My youngest has been offered admission to six universities with merit scholarships, and will be majoring in bioengineering.  I'm not saying that I am due all the credit (my husband is due a lot of credit).  My youngest son is quick to remind me that he has made his own good choices.  However, I can't help but think that investing in their lives has helped my boys.  

The flip side of that coin is that I have not advanced in my career as much as I would have had I been working full time.  However, I would not change what I did AT ALL.  I have a friend in my profession who has advanced a lot in her career.  She has three kids, and has always worked full time.  She once confided in me that if she had it to do over again that she would have spent more time with her kids.

Anyway, we all have to make choices.  What exactly does upward mobility mean?  I guess we have to decide what kind of a contribution we want to make with our lives. 

Well put Renee.  I agree 100%.

So true.  To build on what you and Fitmomma was getting at is that it's not so easy to find out 'what's holding women back' because we aren't a homogenous group.  Yes, we have the same reproductive organs but we are individuals with different abilities, aspirations, and opportunities.  There's nothing wrong with some women wanting to be upwardly moblile in the career sense while others don't.  Like men, many women 'do want it all' and are just as type A.  It just manifests differently through society's lens.  Yes, it's confusing but we don't all want the same things but I do know that the door shouldn't close on any one avenue because of one's sex.

It's a long battle to upend pre-conceived notions of what a woman should be or what a man should be and let people follow what makes sense to them. 

Very interesting topic. And Yanti brings up the very excellent and difficult point of the developed word and the developing world.

I have somewhat of a unique perspective on this, having experienced life from both sides of the fence, if you will.

I find that I am doing better at work and being more recognized for my achievements and ability now than I ever was. I've always possessed the same amount of talent, but I never spoke up for myself, never went after something at work, never really cared all that much.

Now that I am more comfortable with me, I find that I more willing to "toot my own horn," so to speak, and that is paying off at work.  If there was something inherent about being a woman in this society that brought with it a reduced chance of success/mobility/respect/whatever you want to call it, it stands to reason that after I transitioned, I'd be doing worse and have less of those things. But I'm not. I'm doing tons better. I have more respect from my peers than I ever did.

So while I cannot speak for "women" as a group, I can speak for myself and say that my own biggest obstacle to my success was me. So I'd echo Renee's sentiment.

While I agree that more often than not, the person in the mirror is the greatest obstacle, how does one address things like this?

http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/2348-gender-gap-states.html 

I've been hearing about the gender income gap for 3 decades. I can't fight entrenched biases and salary disparity. What I can do is find a place that values my work and rewards me for it.

I have always excelled at my work. When I was younger, I wasn't rewarded for it. So I changed careers and got into a profession that doesn't care about my gender, it cares about my performance. And compensates accordingly.

If you get hung up on the disparity in income and life in general, you might not ever get out of bed. Life is full of challenges - for all of us. It is what you make of it.

ETA: And referencing back to tealeaf's post - You have to be willing to ask for what you want. Fight for what you deserve. And if the outcome disfavors you, decide what you are willing to do about it. It is the same for men as for women. Men have just historically been better at fighting for their desserts, just or otherwise. That is changing.

These were my thoughts as well. There is little, if anything, that one can do as an individual to have an impact on this on a large scale. All we can do is advocate for ourselves and work to overcome this sort of thing in our own lives.

Throwing one's hands up and saying, "well, women just don't get paid what men do" and being resigned to that isn't acceptable in my book.

Couldn't agree more.  And I don't think anyone should.  However, there does appear to still be a systemic bias, albiet a shrinking one.

That being said, you want it, go get it.  No matter race, gender or orientation. 

Who is to say that this gap is not due to a good portion allowing themselves to be their own obstacle?  I'm not saying that is the answer but it's a possibility.  They are not mutually exclusive.

I think it's fair to say that this accounts for some portion of it. This article describes some of that dynamic. A couple points from the article: In general, women don't negotiate as much when it comes to salary, nor do most of us "network" and build relationships with the same intentions that men do. Women are more inclined to build relationships for social reasons; men are more inclined to build relationships to "win," if you will.

Having worked in the staffing industry for 2 decades, I'd say not even close.

• Don't send me any slips (the slip worn under a skirt - i.e. women)
• She's single and doesn't have to support her family like a man. Her salary expectations are too high.
• She's only going to get pregnant and leave anyway.
• Why aren't you sending me some good ol' white frat boys?!

I think that is a great way to look at this question, and I tend to agree with what you are saying.  Many women where I work are soft spoken and avoid coming across as overbearing.  Conversely, many men are ready and willing to argue their points in meetings, point out to others when they were right, and put their projects and accomplishments in the spotlight.  There are plenty of women who have done more in a far more professional manner, yet they are overlooked because they are in their office working as opposed to talking about themselves.  Interestingly enough, I also generally see more men sucking up than women.  Perhaps the women where I work have more self respect than the men?! At any rate, I agree with mehaner.