Dogs, how do you know when it's time? (Page 2)

sulross - 2012-12-05 10:46 AM Well, we sadly have lost our 2 beloved labs in the past 3 months, so I feel I can offer some perspective. As others have said, it is an individual decision for each dog, or pet. We had 2 lovely yellow labs, both males. Jackson was 14 years old and Buddy was 8 1/2 years old. Each had his own personality and they were different sizes. Jackson was all of 75-80 pounds and Buddy was about 105. It was like the Odd Couple. Jackson was fastidious and highly intelligent; Buddy was laid back and would rather move furniture out of the way than walk around it when the least bit excited. He often reminded me of Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies Jackson began having problems with his hips due to old age a few years ago. We modified his diet and worked with him to keep him up and about without undue wear and tear on his joints. But, you can't fight time - he continued to decline. He loved playing catch and would track down any ball with vigor, but eventually we had to limit our games to just a few feet (and keep Buddy away, so he didn't knock Jackson over). By the end, I would sit on the floor with him and roll a ball to him. As his hips declined, his overall demeanor changed, too. His appetite grew smaller. His hips got to a point where he could not support himself to go to the restroom. At this point, we knew it was time. He could only stand or lie down - he could not easily lower himself, or get up, on his own power. He could not squat. We don't have any steps in our home, but I know he could not have even managed one raised step. We gave him his perfect day and invited everyone who loved him over to say goodbye to him. We spent time brushing and loving on him and we gave him a new chew toy, which he politely nibbled on for a few minutes and then put aside. The next day we (as a family) took him to our veterinarian and put him down. We did not go with him into the room. It was a decision that we regretted by that evening, although it seemed like the right thing at the time. My wife didn't think she could handle the process and we thought that might be too difficult for our son to see along with the other part of seeing Jackson drift off. We came home to Buddy and we cried and cried. I held Jackson's collar and thought back on his life. I told Buddy, it's just us, but we are still together. We all hovered around Buddy, knowing that it would be different for him not having his best friend by his side morning and night (they shared a big bed). Buddy grieved pretty hard. He was out of sorts for 2 weeks. Eventually he began to want to play again and he seemed to be showing his personality again. Sadly, it was short-lived. Within a few weeks of Jackson's death, Buddy began to develop tumors on his side and neck. These grew amazingly fast. He began to look different almost overnight - more like a Shar Pei than a lab in the face. We took him to our veterinarian and they ran tests. The verdict was cancer and kidney failure. The change in his facial appearance was due to a rapid loss of muscle along the jawline and above the eyes due to the kidney problems. We were told that he might only last a week to two. We were devastated. We decided to take Buddy home and let him live out his last days with the family in his familiar surroundings. He went downhill quickly - he lost more muscle, began to bump into furniture, would walk around and around the house incessantly, then collapse into deep sleep that was filled with howling and dreams, his hearing on his left side became noticeably diminished and he was very confused much of the time, with short bursts of clarity. BUT, he continued to have an appetite and want to go outside. We modified his diet to keep it easier on his system and to not cause more strain on the kidneys. Because he still wanted to eat and go out, we decided to give him time in spite of all the other issues. We did invite all of his loved ones over to say goodbye and spend time with him. We had some great visits with dear people as they came to share in saying goodbye to Buddy. Buddy made it more than the 1-2 weeks, he kept going for 6 weeks. He slowly had a more and more difficult time drinking. I realized that he couldn't drink as well with the bowl located on the ground, so we would hold it up to him and he would drink. Eventually it became tough for him to even do that. He would have to put his entire nose into the water to get it in - he was having to try to suck the water in. Two days later he stopped eating. He lost all of his bowels in the hallway. He nibbled a little bit the next day, then he didn't eat for 2 days. On the 2nd day of not eating, he had a seizure during which I had to hold him to keep him from rolling forward onto his neck. This was at lunch time and my wife and I both knew that it was time. Frustratingly, we had discussed it was time the day before when he wasn't eating - and now we had waited (hoping for a change) and now he was having a seizure. We got him through the seizure and we carried him to his bed. We called our veterinarian's office and they told us they would make a special appointment for us to come in that day. I put Buddy's blankets in the back of our vehicle and we loaded him into the car and went to pick our son up from school. We took Buddy to the vet and we knew that we wanted to be with him the entire way through. They gave us a lot of time with Buddy to say goodbye and love on him, then the majority of the office came in to be with us as we all held Buddy as he drifted away. We spent more time with him afterwards and then I petted him one last time, stood up and said, "Night, night Buddy," and we left. It was what we said to him each night with a last rub down as we went to bed. We waited a little too long with Buddy. I am sorry for that, but I am grateful that he did get to go with everyone there and loving on him. We learned from Jackson. Jackson came into our family at his midlife point from the sudden suicide of my best friend. Jackson was the hunting dog we always took with us as we hunted each year. His family gave us Jackson because of our shared history and their knowledge of my love for him as my friend's beloved pet. I think because of the circumstances with how we brought Jackson into our family we felt that being there when he went would be too much. In hindsight, I believe firmly that it is the best place to be. I don't beat myself up over not staying with Jackson; I look at it as a lesson that gave me as a gift. We went through a lot together and we learned a lot together - this was his final lesson for me. He gave us the knowledge of how to best be there with Buddy when his time came, just like a big brother looking out for the younger one. From what you share of your dog's current ailment and manner of life, and looking at what we have seen in the recent loss of our dogs, I feel comfortable telling you that I think it is time for the last perfect day, or event, and for you to gather people to say goodbye. I believe it is time to let your veterinarian know that your animal is ready and so are you. It is a sorrowful day, no doubt, but I wouldn't want you to wait until the total loss of control and ugly side of sickness shows its head like it did for our family. My heart hurts for you and your family. It is tough. I still cry when I reflect too much on our boys, or spend too much time in the part of the house where their bed and toys were located. It does get better, but they are such a part of our families that it is a process. I hope this story gives you some insight, or helps in some way.

Kido - 2012-12-06 10:03 AM I keep coming back to this thread.  I GUESS I would also put a lot of faith into a Vet.  If they say it's time, I would take that in consideration.  I assume the won't even put an animal down unless they knew it was the only option?