Men: If you are looking to date a woman 40+, are you looking for her to have your babies?

I'm not old enough to answer your question, but I agree with you that she should wait until a few dates in to bust out the "I can't have kids comment". 

It is a bit scary and off putting to have a woman talk about kid plans with you at that point of a relationship. I had a female friend in college, we hung out all the time and enjoyed each others company, at one point we talked about dating, she was leaving town for the week so we decided to take up the dating talk when she got back. As I was taking her to the airport for her trip she felt the need to tell me that she was likely unable to have kids. 

Part of it was the fact that I was a Junior in college, but it was also kinda off putting for her to bust that comment out when we had just casually discussed dating. 

So yeah, I would tell your friend to wait for that bombshell until after a few dates.

I agree with you...For the most part men that start a "new" relationship with a woman in her 40's is not looking to have children.  They either have children from a previous relationship, or are perfectly fine with not having any.

I am, and I was dating women 40+ when I met my now wife. I did not want to father any more children and was open about that when appropriate with the women I dated. It was never really an announcement, but it often would come up naturally in conversation. Of course, as a father of adult children, talk of children and parenting (and eventual grand parenting) easily made its way into conversation. 

Legal disclaimer: I'm married so may not be the best voice for this, since I don't meet your voting pool criteria.

I'm 40, so if I was dating I'd likely be dating in the range of which you speak.  I would not expect her to be my baby-mamma, and honestly I'd be a bit put off if this was a topic that was raised on the first date or two.

I think that all people and situations are different, and I long ago learned never to say never.  However, I'm sure that a guy dating a 40ish YO woman expecting her to have his children is the exception and not the norm.

From the guy's side..

"I'm not willing to have your babies" = "I will not be sleeping with you"...   Date over...

The simple answer... if a woman told me that on the first few dates... we would not be going on any more dates. Not because I want kids... but because that is just a little psycho.

I was 36 with no kids for various reasons. Met my wife with a 15 year old at the time. (that was fun) We were going great after a couple of years and finally she got very upset and told me she didn't want anymore kids and figured the relationship was over. My love for my wife is not determined by having kids. If I wanted to have kids I'm pretty sure that discussion would have come up much quicker and neither of us would have lost much time. It takes care of itself... but newly dating... come on.

For me I appreciate her honesty and share the same idea.  I didn't want to be too old to enjoy my kids(my opinion only) so I wanted to be done with babies by about 30 which I was.

I find that an early discussion of these types of things helps.  I do not want kids, had mine and enjoy the freedom of them being high school age.  I would not want to get too serious with a woman if she was expecting to have a family when I'm not.  Just my humble opinion.

No you are not!!!

Some can, but some are not looking just for enjoyable company. They are clearly looking for a mate and see no reason to take time away from that pursuit. I've done both, and when I was ready to make the big move I didn't spend a lot of time enjoying the company of women who I felt would not make a good wife for me.

Ya... and how old were you when you had your game face on?

If both people are 40+ things are a bit different. Over half the people already have kids and most of them are grown at that point. Probably 2/3 have already been married once at least.... how many people do you know looking to start a second family at 40? More to the point... how many people dating at 40+ are actually not trying to waste time and start a family immediately. The odds have it that that those are the few not the many... odds have it that that that topic does not need to be front and center just starting out dating.

As a 50 year old divorced dad of two, I do not want to raise any more kids. I realize that might be a little selfish but I love the ones I have more than anything, and I just don't know if I could have that feeling again.

From a practical standpoint I have one in college and one heading there soon, it's a major financial commitment, as are babies. I am certain I would not start a relationship with a woman who had kids. In fact, I was dating someone and we didn't let it get serious for this reason. It wouldn't be fair to her or to me.

The Georgia Satellites tune might be a recurring theme song she could play -
"... don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself".

Hey Karen..

This is the reason I usually date women 40+.  I don't want to have children.  and in that dating range while I will hear women say that they are open to the thought of having kids, when you really talk with them about it they don't. since the timeline reallyl doesn't add up. ? A year or so of dating, being married apx a year then the 9 month preg. puts the woman around mid 40's   .

it's the women from 34-39 that I meet that are really looking for someone to have children with.  Again only my experiences. but it's seems to be pretty true for the other guys I know my age {45}

That's why I would rather date a single divorced  mom, that has had children and doesn't want more, over a never been married that is hoping to still have kids

ETA.. it doesn't bother or faze me when a woman brings up kids on the first date,  It's something that's important to her and I agree I'd rather know much sooner than later