Guy advice...

Ok, so I'm dating again, a process fraught with excitement and thrills.

I met this guy a month ago - we went out to dinner on Sept 1 (I think) and then spent the day in Santa Cruz on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. We were SUPPOSED to get together Monday (of that same weekend.) He called Sunday, I called him back and left a message, he never called.

So, he calls me up out of the blue yesterday.

Yes, this is a month later.

We're going out to dinner tonight.

SO - what do I do when I see him tonight? Do I call him on the flakezoid moment a month ago? Do I ask him why? Or let it slide?

(from the mind of a guy)

Dating is just that.  Dating.  You go out with several women at once, hence the definition of dating.

Perhaps he's dating 2 other women at the same time and but he's had his weekends filled with other stuff too and that's why it took 4 weekends to call you back.

It just my opinion but go out with him and see how you mesh.  If it's not working, no biggie.  So he didn't call you back, no biggie.

Now if you were dating him for a few months and this happened, he'd be a jerk. 

Oh c'mon man.  Telling someone your gonna call them isn't a binding contractual agreement!  Geez.  She needs to stop taking "I'll call you" so seriously all the time.

Let me give you an example.  When I lived in Europe, it's quite common from people to say "I'll call you" instead of "goodbye" when you're departing from a face-to-face meeting or gathering.

Did I go around and get all worried/worked up/thinking about why all these people didn't really call me?

I think the real problem is that she took it too "literally"

that's how I see it anyway, and if she sees it different then that's probabaly the primary reason for the rift in understanding.

"Respect?"  I'm sorry but . . . Get Over Yourself!  He didn't call her an offensive name or spray paint her car or send her a nasty letter.

Bottom line, it's not a big deal and it's my opinion that if she continues to think it is like you do then she may be finding yourself "dating" for several years to come.  No joke.  

For any who are interested (which it appears is many)

YES - we DID have specific plans for that Monday.  "I'll call you" - and then some time passes, that's ok.  "Let's go do this specific thing together on a specific date" and then vanish - not ok.

So, I did go out with him last night.  Everyone deserves a second chance, and after all, I did not know what happened the first time.  Also, I liked him, so that probably played a big factor.

Anyway, short version - I talked to him about it, he didn't really have a good explanation.  There were also inconsistencies about things he told me from the first time to this time.  So, I'm now getting the feeling that he's a game player and just trying to tell me what I want to hear, so he can get what he wants.  Not planning on going out with him again, but I am glad that I went this time, cause now I know for sure.

Oh c'mon man.  Telling someone your gonna call them isn't a binding contractual agreement!  Geez.  She needs to stop taking "I'll call you" so seriously all the time.

Let me give you an example.  When I lived in Europe, it's quite common from people to say "I'll call you" instead of "goodbye" when you're departing from a face-to-face meeting or gathering.

Did I go around and get all worried/worked up/thinking about why all these people didn't really call me?

I think the real problem is that she took it too "literally"

that's how I see it anyway, and if she sees it different then that's probabaly the primary reason for the rift in understanding.

"Respect?"  I'm sorry but . . . Get Over Yourself!  He didn't call her an offensive name or spray paint her car or send her a nasty letter.

Bottom line, it's not a big deal and it's my opinion that if she continues to think it is like you do then she may be finding yourself "dating" for several years to come.  No joke.