What is the REAL significance of the size of an engagement ring?

Sadly that is mostly true especially if people are focusing on materialistic things to represent their "love".

I'm going to guess that you aren't going to get many admissions here that anyone demanded a xx carat ring from their soon to be husband, or wife, or significant whatever.  I know I spent too dang much on a stupid ring (without any demands, specs, or suggestions from my wife), even though the size would probably be considered modest these days.  My wife likes it, so that's nice.

That is not the case for all women and is not the case for me.  As a matter of fact, after 10 years of marriage I still do not have my own engagement ring and I am OK with that.  We were both students with limited funds when we got married and it has never mattered enough for me in the intervening years.

I wasn't looking for people who demanded them lol but just the reasoning to why a bigger ring is better or more appealing.

About the same significance of the expense of a wedding reception.

In impressing others? Oh, plenty.

In relating to the quality or longevity of a relationship? None.

My wife and I will mark 18 years married this August. She has a small engagement ring, we had a very modest wedding reception with cold cuts and potato salad. (I don't even eat potato salad.)

To this day people still talk about how much they enjoyed our wedding reception, in the pavilion at the summer camp where we met, and were married in the woods.

Conversely, I've been to receptions that probably cost $75k. Some of those folks are also happily married. Some were divorced within a year.

I would be willing to bet that it is the same significance as the size of her boobs are to the guys. 

I have an aunt that has a 6-7 carat ring (something like that), just the one stone, there were other diamonds around it.  She has always been gaudy and flashy.  She is also fairly materialistic and a bit of a gold digger.  Don't get me wrong, I think she's honestly loved every one of her husbands, they just all seem to be the high powered lawyer/sports agent type.

I remember the one time she showed it to me, it seemed to be all about size, and was WAY too big.  In her case everything was about "look at me", so I can only assume that was teh same with the ring.  "look at MY ring".

The size and setting were about it looking right on my hand. I have small hands and a giant diamond would look obnoxious.   I have a very nice sized one in a setting with lots of other small diamonds around it.  It's a low profile so I don't bang it on a lot of things (read: I'm clumsy).  The diamond itself is of very high quality which was more important than size to me.

For us, it's an investment. We hope it becomes a family heirloom and that it can be passed down to future generations. 

Personally I think its all about what you can afford comfortably.  When my wife and I got married at 18 I bought her a $300 1/4 carat ring and she wore it for 15 years.  I bought her a really nice 1 carat ring around our 15 year anniversary because it just seemed like a nice gift and a symbol of our marriage growing stronger over time.  (we just celebrated 20 years on June 10th)

One of the worst things people can do is go heavily into debt trying to finance huge rings and expensive weddings.  Money is a big cause for stress in a marriage, so why start off in the red.

When I saw the thread was about the big ring I thought it was another HTFU on the bike thread. Then I thought, because it comes in carbon.

As a guy it was to impress my future wife, although the pressure to buy a nice rock came from my parents. Personally I think it's nonsense, the people I know who have huge diamonds are, in general, pretty superficial

My situation is very similar to tuwood's

My wife and I are nearing our 15th, and we just recently decided to get her an upgrade, since the ring I gave her when we got engaged was all I could afford when I was just starting my career.  While the upgrade won't put us into debt, it is more along the lines of what we can comfortably afford now, and represents a continued commitment to her and the growth of our relationship.  Since she wears it every day, I want her to have something she loves and is really excited to see every time she looks at her finger.  She doesn't ask for much from me, and a nice ring is something she really wants - it's the least I can do for all of the early training mornings when I am out of the house and weekends she gives up so she can attend and cheer me on at my races, among all of the other things that she does for me.     

ETA:  Of course, I would love it (and see it as more practical) if she would prefer a nice bike as a gift, but alas, she wants the ring instead! 

I tried to get away with no diamond, but my husband insisted. I am not a big jewelry person, and so it doesn't matter to me, really.

I don't have an engagement and wedding ring, I just have the one ring.

The guy should just pay for the boob job.  Then everyone wins!

I got mrs gearboy's ring when we were still students. A very small ring. After around 20 years, she got tired of constantly taking it off and on when she had to don rubber gloves (she's a pathologist who works in a lab), and just stopped wearing it altogether. Then when she got tired in a few months of strange men hitting on her, she got a cheap band (her engagement and wedding ring were interlocking, so when she stopped wearing the one, she stopped wearing the other) that lays flat.

She could not care about the size of her ring. And I don't care about the size of her boobs (still a nice c-cup, so I guess I win...)

Pretty much this.

Although I would also cringe if it was huge diamond but ugly.   I talked my husband out of a slightly bigger diamond when presented with his final three choices, because I wanted the one that was sparklier.  It was a much "better" diamond.

I have a pretty modest engagement ring, 1 carat total weight (not a solitaire, there are diamonds all around the band). We were young (22) when we got engaged and I didn't (and still don't, really) care much about jewelry, and I have small hands, so big jewelry looks bad on me.

I'm only materialistic when it comes to bikes.

What a jerk!!! 

Unless said future wife doesn't want a big diamond, in which case it's a good thing he got her a ring that she likes and will wear every day.

But if she does want a diamond, what a jerk!!!  :p 

I picked out my wifes ring without input from her. I picked the ring first and the diamond it had really didn't fill out the setting very well. I had the rock upgraded to one that I thought looked better. 

Price wasn't really the determining factor for me, I didn't have a set amount I was trying to spend. I just tried to find something she would like and then tried to make it look a bit better.

She loves the ring, she loves looking at it and she loves showing it off. She gets questions about it from random strangers constantly, which leads to discussion on how I managed to get it on my own and how awesome I must be.

I think my wife appreciates the fact that I was thinking only about her when I bought it. I wasn't thinking about whether or not the rock was big enough to impress people and make them think I was rich and important. I wasn't worried about all the other stuff I could have bought with the money. I was only worried about what she would like and what would look good on her. 

Luckily I chose well and it didn't break the bank either. I think if there are ulterior motives about the ring from either party that is a sign of potential problems.  

Ok so if a friend of yours has a small little ring or even just a gold band does that make you question the guy? If so why?