Laughs and Giggles

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2013-01-25 9:08 AM

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Elite
3656
200010005001002525
West Allis, Wisconsin
Subject: Laughs and Giggles

A thread for laughs and giggles was "suggestion" in another thread.  so heck, i'll start it with a knock knock joke told to me by my now 4.5 year old son:

KNOCK KNOCK

Who's there?

I EAT MOP

i eat mop who?

 

2013-01-25 9:09 AM
in reply to: #4594221

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Champion
15211
500050005000100100
Southern Chicago Suburbs, IL
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks "why the long face?"

 

2013-01-25 9:14 AM
in reply to: #4594221

Expert
1099
1000252525
Broadlands
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

Why was Tigger looking down the toilet?

.............................

He was looking for Pooh!

 

What?  ah c'mon y'all laughed!

2013-01-25 9:14 AM
in reply to: #4594221

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Pro
15655
5000500050005001002525
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

Sunday School teacher asks her class of 6 year olds to tell her about the Ressurection.

Johnny says, "if it lasts more than 4 hours see a doctor".

2013-01-25 9:15 AM
in reply to: #4594221

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Pro
9391
500020002000100100100252525
Omaha, NE
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
2013-01-25 9:15 AM
in reply to: #4594226

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Elite
3656
200010005001002525
West Allis, Wisconsin
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:09 AM

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks "why the long face?"

 

an ear of corn walks into that same bar, but the bartender stopped him at the door citing that they don't serve food there............

2013-01-25 9:16 AM
in reply to: #4594221

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Sneaky Slow
8694
500020001000500100252525
Herndon, VA,
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow w...

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

2013-01-25 9:17 AM
in reply to: #4594221

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Pro
9391
500020002000100100100252525
Omaha, NE
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
2013-01-25 9:22 AM
in reply to: #4594238

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Champion
15211
500050005000100100
Southern Chicago Suburbs, IL
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
djdavey - 2013-01-25 9:15 AM
crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:09 AM

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks "why the long face?"

 

an ear of corn walks into that same bar, but the bartender stopped him at the door citing that they don't serve food there............

Two pieces of string walk into the same bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot

2013-01-25 9:27 AM
in reply to: #4594241

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Champion
6056
500010002525
Menomonee Falls, WI
Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
"Why did the chicken cross the road?

  • .. To pick his nose!"

    • Yeah, I know. But that was the joke my 8-year-old told this morning and it went over HUGE with his 6-year-old brother.

    2013-01-25 9:37 AM
    in reply to: #4594251

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    Elite
    3656
    200010005001002525
    West Allis, Wisconsin
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:22 AM
    djdavey - 2013-01-25 9:15 AM
    crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:09 AM

    A horse walks into a bar.

    Bartender asks "why the long face?"

     

    an ear of corn walks into that same bar, but the bartender stopped him at the door citing that they don't serve food there............

    Two pieces of string walk into the same bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

    They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

    So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

    Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

    The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot

    construction worker walks into THAT SAME DAM BAR!! carry a piece of asphalt under his arm.  bartender asks what he wants and he says "beer, and gimmie one for the road too"

     

    2013-01-25 9:39 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Pro
    4313
    20002000100100100
    McKinney, TX
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtles back?






    WWWHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2013-01-25 9:52 AM
    in reply to: #4594279

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    Champion
    15211
    500050005000100100
    Southern Chicago Suburbs, IL
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    djdavey - 2013-01-25 9:37 AM
    crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:22 AM
    djdavey - 2013-01-25 9:15 AM
    crowny2 - 2013-01-25 9:09 AM

    A horse walks into a bar.

    Bartender asks "why the long face?"

     

    an ear of corn walks into that same bar, but the bartender stopped him at the door citing that they don't serve food there............

    Two pieces of string walk into the same bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

    They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

    So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

    Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

    The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot

    construction worker walks into THAT SAME DAM BAR!! carry a piece of asphalt under his arm.  bartender asks what he wants and he says "beer, and gimmie one for the road too"

     

    Two guys walk into THAT SAME DAM BAR.  The third guy ducks.

    2013-01-25 9:56 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    What's the difference between a banjo player & a locksmith?
    A locksmith gets paid to change keys.
    2013-01-25 9:58 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Elite
    3518
    20001000500
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    Knock knock. 

    Who's there? 

    Cash. 

    Cash who? 

    No thanks, but I would like a peanut instead! bahahahwhahahahha  

     

    Thanks coach for starting this thread. I needed a giggle this morning.

    2013-01-25 10:00 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Veteran
    1019
    1000
    St. Louis
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    My 4 year old's favorite joke.  

    What's brown and sticky...a stick.

    2013-01-25 10:01 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Deep in the Heart of Texas
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    Whats the difference between roast beef and split pea soup?

     

     

    You can roast beef but you can't pee soup. 

    2013-01-25 10:02 AM
    in reply to: #4594241

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    Elite
    3770
    200010005001001002525
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    tuwood - 2013-01-25 9:17 AM Dyslexic man walks into a bra

     

    good one

    2013-01-25 10:07 AM
    in reply to: #4594338

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    Master
    4101
    20002000100
    Denver
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    kevin_trapp - 2013-01-25 9:00 AM

    My 4 year old's favorite joke.  

    What's brown and sticky...a stick.

    What's brown and sounds like a bell?

    DUNG!!!

    2013-01-25 10:10 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Elite
    3656
    200010005001002525
    West Allis, Wisconsin
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles

    What's green and slimy and hangs on trees?

     

    Giraffe Boogers!!

    (another fave one of my sons!)

    2013-01-25 10:11 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Champion
    11989
    500050001000500100100100100252525
    Philly 'burbs
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    Two guys walk into a bar, the third gut ducks.

    2013-01-25 10:13 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    Why don't you go into the jungle between 4 and 8 PM?

    That's when the elephants jump down from the trees.

    Why are Pygmies so small?

    They're in the jungle between 4 and 8 PM

    2013-01-25 10:15 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

    Veteran
    134
    10025
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    A three-legged dog walks into a bar in the old west and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
    2013-01-25 10:16 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    Why do elephants paint their toenails red?


    To hide in strawberry patches.



    Ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?

    Nope.

    See, it works!

    2013-01-25 10:18 AM
    in reply to: #4594221

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    Veteran
    1019
    1000
    St. Louis
    Subject: RE: Laughs and Giggles
    Took my kids to the zoo.  They only had one dog.  It was a shih tzu.
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