Psychology behind Stranger Scolding (Page 2)

jazz82482 - 2012-02-06 9:02 AM

TriAya - 2012-02-06 9:43 AM

I'd have to think of a scenario in which whatever the person is being scolded for truly neither actually nor potentially affects any other person.

Oo- I can think of an example.... I ride the bus every morning, and this morning, the bus was at a stop, letting people on. The driver closed the doors, and was about to pull away, when someone came running across the street, made the driver stop and let him on. OK, fine. Then, this same passenger pulls the 'stop request' cord, immediately upon boarding the bus to be let off at the next stop, which is literally 700 feet away. Huh? So this same guy was standing in the front of the bus, basically AT the front door, next to the driver. At the next stop, as all of the passengers try to get off the bus, through his (front) door, he is weaving his way through all of them, to exit via the BACK door. He had to bump/make contact with 7 people to exit through the back, when he could've been the first one out the front door. WTF? Did he deserve a public scolding? Nothing about his behavior had any 'real' affects on other people. Some physical contact, and delaying the bus 5 seconds, but his seemingly selfish behavior really rubbed me the wrong way this morning. He had no obvious physical impairment, because I saw him running across the street to catch the bus- so why delay everyone else to take the bus 700 feet, when busses show up at that stop every 2 minutes? It's possible he got on the wrong bus, but the direction we were going is the way every bus goes, and there isn't a significant turn off for about a mile, and besides, he pulled the cord as soon as he got on. And finally, Why the HECK couldn't he have gone out the front door, instead of pushing through to the back!?? That was the final behavior that made it clear he was acting 100% selfishly and never once thought of anyone in the universe besides himself. Thank you for letting me rant, have a nice day

You know, some people are just crazy.

^^^ This.

I was walking down the street with the bf yesterday. We came to a crosswalk (the kind where pedestrians have the right of way). I looked and crossed. Apparently, someone was trying to turn right from the main road that we were parallel to onto the side street that we were crossing.

The lady in the SUV honked. We turned around like "WTF, really?" and she made some angry gestures. The bf flipped her off. She rolled down the window and yelled at us for being in the street.

The bf calmly said "We are in the cross walk. We have the right of way"

To which the lady responded by calling us stupid trash and a wonderful assortment of other things.

In this case, the bf suggested that she got really angry because she realized she was in the wrong but didn't want to admit it.

I can see truth in that assessment.

How do you say that in Spanish? I should learn that for the Wal Marts around here...

La Migre Tiene sus papeles!

There is a chinese saying of "being shameful at oneself's wrong doing and become angry at others". 

Once while driving, I stopped at a red light.  A car stopped on my left (which is clearly marked as "left turn only").  At green, he went straight, cutting in front of me.  I didn't expect that and almost hit him.  I showed my finger. 

He stopped the car, blocking me on the road, and came yelling at me for my "finger".  I told him he was in the wrong.  He said "Everyone makes mistakes.  You don't have to fu*k me".  To that I replied "Everyone making mistakes doesn't make your mistake right.  You violated traffic law and nearly caused an accident.  I got angry at you putting me in potential harm.  Now you got mad at me for getting mad at you?" He walked away.

I sometimes get the temptation to be a stranger scolder, but I have found a better alternative.

1. I take a posture of quiet, assertiveness... like pack leader.

2. If that does not work, I make a quick, gutteral "szh" sound and tap the back of their head.

Always ends well.

For $500, I'm going to go with "What happens when an angry person has poor impulse control?"

Some angry people need little reason to release their inner gorgon.

It works for Cesar!

Pink font missing?

CANTSTOPRAFFING!

When I was a schoolteacher, I developed a strong tendency to scold random children in public.  The best was when two 5th-grade-looking boys decided it was really fun to weave their way through a packed crowd at a rock concert by shoving everyone out of their way.  The huge guy that *I* got shoved into looked angry at me, then incredulous at the kids.  I grabbed the first kid by the collar and leaned into his face: "Buddy.  That's NOT a good idea."

Problem solved.

I don't randomly scold people any more though.  The teacher thing wore off. 

(but I am loving Tony's movie-theater Revolution.)

Everybody's a jerk sometimes.

It's simply a Public Service Announcement. 

You're welcome.

I got yelled at by a bag lady for j-walking across a street at 5:30 AM in the morning. She yelled at me and then proceeded to mumble about "those damn j-walkers". I didn't know us j-walkers were such a problem for our town. Maybe I was propagating a crime spree.

I particularly love when the rules one is being scolded for are 'made up' - you know, the guidelines or codes of conduct that aren't actually published anywhere - just how this crazy person thinks it should be ...

My favourite is also my favourite reminder just to relax and let things because I could just as easily be the crazy lady yelling in the subway.   So, it's morning, I get off at my usual subway stop where both the north and southbound trains arrive at the same time so two trains worth of commuters get off so we are all streaming out and from the tunnel i used to get to my office building I could hear someone yelling.  As I get closer I can hear her yelling 'STAY TO THE RIGHT!  STAY TO THE RIGHT' Because she's going against the flow of people and coming in to the station.

Yes, staying to the right is generally a good rule but nowhere is this actually required for pedestrians.  And by yelling it in the subway you instantly become the crazy lady. 

This one of things i remind myself of so I can I keep my many made up rules of proper conduct to myself. 

I just don't see the crazy here.

Because she should be saying "on your left"