What is the REAL significance of the size of an engagement ring? (Page 2)

That is a great story and I totally agree with the bolded part.

Nope no question at all.  I think that the band is more symbolic than the engagement ring.  

My husband had my ring custom made for me while he was deployed in Qatar.  Yes, it is a gorgeous ring, and I was over the moon to receive it from him.  It is modest and beautiful and he did an amazing job with the cut.  The ring really fits my personality.  He wanted me to have it, and so I cherish it.  

Our wedding bands - $50 from JC Penny's.  Nothing special.  We bought them on the way to the Justice of the Peace to get married.  No wedding, no reception, no nothing.  Just the two of us standing in front of a drunk preacher who couldn't get my name right, getting married.  I wouldn't change it for the world!  

^^ I love this! 

My ring is one that I picked out and love it.  It's mostly black with some silver streaks running through it and it's exactly what I WANT to wear every day.  Our ceremony is going to be at the courthouse and then an invitation to friends to come out to dinner with us, and then party at the bar.    It's going to be a fantastic day!!! 

I'll weigh in...another male perspective...

I wouldn't categorize either myself or my wife as materialistic, but I do believe you should have some "skin in the game", so to speak.  As someone mentioned above, "if you're driving a Jaguar and spend $500 on the ring...", then that's saying something.  The engagement ring is a symbol of the commitment and promise made to your (future) wife...the value that goes along with it should reflect that it's important to you.  That's the reason for the whole custom of providing a diamond/gold ring...the preciousness of the stone is symbolic of the preciousness (I just used it twice...is that even a word?) of your commitment.

Size was relatively important to me, since my wife was blessed with big hands (she blames her dad), and a small/petite ring and band would not have looked good.  In fact, it would have made her more self-concious about her "man hands".  I picked a solid-size band with a just-under 1c solitaire, and went through a good jewler to get the best quality stone I could afford at the time (again, a very relative statement).  My wife and our family were impressed with it, and I've never had a regret.

SIDE NOTE: said ring is at the jewler's right now getting a spruce-up job...my wife and I will celebrate 5 years tomorrow and she wanted to make sure it is nice and sparkly.  Still loves it!

Nope. But I'm not into rings. My husband always knew I didn't want to purchase an engagement ring if we decided to marry. My mom doesn't wear hers anymore (divorced) and said I could have it if I ever wanted it. So my mom mailed it to me after my husband and I decided together that we wanted to get married. No proposal. But if I didn't have that one I would have wanted nothing. And I didn't/don't wear the diamond ring much. I have a plain, thin wedding band. Don't wear that often either.

Only speaking for myself...

Present company excluded, I know TONS of women that size matters.  Some have even gone as far as saying something like "if I don't get at least 2 carats, I'm not accepting".

Most would still marry the guy, because it IS about love, but they would be disapointed if it was a small ring (of course, finances play a part - they don't expect 5 carats from a bartender).  They want to feel like they are worth spending a ton of money on and worth the big ring.

However, I'm not ammune either.  The wife would have accepted anything BUT, I wanted to show off a bit too.  And I wanted her to be happy.  We shopped for a while and I took a lot of mental notes and got something.  Not too crazy.  Something like a 1.3 carat oval center stone with a ring of smaller stones around it.  It looks "vintage" which was why it was so appealing.  Good thing is, even though it's not huge, the construction makes it look a bit bigger and everyone loves it and tells her they want one just like it.  Several have even copied it which makes my wife mad!

Actually the engagement ring is in fact a long tradition but the diamond engagement ring was not common place until 1947 when the De Beers company came up with the advertising slogan “A diamond is forever” and a huge add campaign was put out for if he really loves you he'll put a diamond on your finger.

While I am the kind of guy who would do all this (and did) I just find the reasons for doing so wrong some times. I really liked Aaron's story though!!!

Oh fun. In Chicago? My original plan was to do the 3 minute civil ceremony for $10 at the Chicago Cultural Center

That sounds awesome!  Congratulations to you, I am sure it will be a beautiful time! 

Yep, in Chicago!  That's exactly what we're doing for this ceremony, and then dinner and party later, but we're going to be doing another ceremony in Vegas when we're there in November so that my family and friends will be able to be there. 

Only 14 more sleeps!   

from my experience, the significance is the amount of chaos it causes between women.  and if you love your wife and she has catty friends, you want to arm her (or finger her) with the "trump card."

My wife's engagement ring was/is just less than a carat.  It was given to us by her mother (I was a poor student at the time), as it was her engagement ring.  Her father worked an entire summer building a wall to earn $ to buy it.   We've talked about getting her a bigger one but the one she has means so much more to her (her mother is now deceased). 

Well, let me give you a back story first.

My wife loses EVERYTHING.

There. I got her a $300 black hills gold style ring because she doesn't like diamonds and I don't want her to lose an expensive ring. Plus, we're both cheapass'. I'm impressed though after 4 years she still has the ring. She has "lost" it multiple times though.

Little known facts:

Diamonds are no more rare than many other gemstones.  they cost more because the price and supply are tightly controlled by the Debeers cartel.

Cubic Zirconia look just as nice.  The best way to tell them apart is to get a loop or steromicroscope and look at them side by side.  The way you can tell a diamond from a cubic Zirconia, is that the diamond will have flaws and sometimes a coloration, whereas CZs are always perfect.

But- I gave up trying to rationalize it.  The reality is that women just want a man to spend money on them.  My wife didn't want anything more than a carat.  So, I bought her a 2 carat GIA colorless (D) stone, with a tiny inclusion that you can see with a loop.  That way- she'll always be able to recognize her diamond.  It's in a platinum setting with a lot of fine details and two triangular sapphires.  She loves the ring.  So, I'm happy that she likes it. 

funny.  Her mom (a wealthy woman) used to wear a pretty sizable diamond ring.  I think 6 carats- which she passed on to her granddaughter.  Now she wears an $8 glass fake diamond ring with a gold colored metal band that my 8 year old daughter bought her.  She loves it, and nobody would ever suspect it's a total cheapy- because it's being worn by an elegant lady.

moral of the story- the beauty of the ring is set by the person wearing it.

I agree that the diamond "rarity" thing is totally driven by DeBeers, and the hype is driven by marketing.      However, being a geologist, I would never wear a "fake"rock.   Better none than fake.

I had an interesting discussion about rings last night.   At a geological society meeting, I greated an obviously new young woman in the group and introduced myself and the other people in our group.     The setting was a courtyard behind a bar in a mining town.  She was wearing a summer dress and had some unusual (for N Nevada) ear peircings.   She said she was new in town and her fiance was over there (behind the BBQ, grilling) and she had just moved out from New York City as they were getting married.     We congratulated her and she said "geologists pick out the best engagement rings" but she wasn't wearing it just then because they had just done something sporty and she forgot to put it back on.   She talked about how he went to pick out the stone back east at some importer and put it throught a rigorous exam.    It was personal.   I thought it was great.

I married someone from outside the US who did not have the notion that engagement rings were important.  Instead, he spent time panning rivers in mining areas to obtain "real suriname gold" for our rings.    We have bands poured together from the same mix of gold that included the panned gold, some of his deceased mother's jewelry, and an old single 14K earring I had, and the link of a bracelette I had bought my bridesmaid while I was in Suriname that had to be taken out because it was too big for her wrist.    Very personal.  I like it.   The little nubbin that connected the two molds is rather sentimental to me.

Now, as I still do not have a rock on my hand, my husband often says "I know how it works now - I will get you one".   I tell him that I would prefer a new kitchen (ours is from 1938 except for the 1960's stove which was the same one Samantha had in Bewitched - the Frigidaire Flaire!).

I have an engagement ring that McFuzz could afford at the time (recent college graduate).  I grew up with materialistic parents so I was a little upset at the size of the ring.  Over the years I wouldn't change anything about it. 

That being said, one year I could not find my wedding rings ANYWHERE!  I searched for a couple of days and finally broke down and told McFuzz that I had lost them.  My heart was broken.  I had always kidded with him about a bigger ring and now that mine was gone I didn't want another one!  IT was then that he presented me with a diamond anniversary band!  He had taken my rings to make sure he got the right size.  To this day, I look at my three rings, and now how much McFuzz loves me.  If I don't wear my rings during the day because I'm cleaning or whatever I stop to look at them whenever I have to walk into our room. 

Carbon for carbon, sounds like an excellent trade to me!

I agree 100%. I actually know a bit about diamonds and gems from a class I once took. My engagement ring diamond is under a carat. .71 carats t be exact, but it's a very nicely cut and clear stone. A lot of my coworkers wear rings with huge  diamonds of moderate to low quality and think theirs is better. My ring was well within my husband's modest budget too. It wasn't a cheapie, but it certainly wasn't overpriced or extravagant. He bough it online at James Allen because we did research and saw that online was like 35-40% cheaper than in-store.

Anyway, it's really hard to do serious activity with a huge ring. It really gets in the way. That was one of my big considerations. Even if the huge diamond rings are high quality stones, they're so impractical and some are so gaudy and show offy.

A lot of people don't know that cut is more important than size. Because the cut determine the brilliance, the fire, the way the light shines. A lot of people also overpay on clarity because sales people push them to buy a ring that is much higher on the clarity scale than they need. With many moderate stones, you can only see the flaws under 10X magnification. So you don't need a higher clarity. It still looks totally clear to the "naked eye" as they say. But you can end up paying double for a slightly clearer diamond.

This also seems to be more of the norm for people not in the US (yes I know Guam is a territory  )