Can anyone explain the it's "her day" concept in wedding? (Page 2)

i don't disagree with you, but i wonder how this starts??  i played plenty of barbies and baby dolls growing up, but i don't remember ever playing wedding.  sometimes my barbies got married, maybe?  i don't understand WHERE little girls even get this idea in the first place.  (and don't get me started on the weird princess obsession, i know exactly how that starts!)

also, little girls are probably smarter than little boys, regarding the "things in nose" phase

Someone might as well get it over with. *deep breath*

It's her day because it's her big day out in a pretty dress, looking absolutely fantastic and happy as she becomes someone else's property consigned to domestic duties and child bearing while letting herself go in the process.

Whereas the man will have plenty more days while he builds a great career, continues to go out with his friends (the woman will only have other mothers at the school as acquaintances and there won't be any socialising beyond talking about other mums at the school gates, until they get a dog, then they might walk the dog together sometimes but soon realise they'd never be friends in normal circumstances and start avoiding each other) under the illusion that he is a 'provider' but really he spends the vast majority of his income on stuff he wants to get like triathlon gear and cars while giving the woman a measly allowance to buy food and complain that she spends too much on domestic appliances.

On top of that the brides dad is expected to pay for the whole thing and he wants it known as 'her day' because he can't court the thought of spending 20k on a free bar for a load of strangers getting drunk and least of all the bloke who's sleeping with his daughter and about to lead her into a life of miserable under achievement (see above) after she showed great professional promise by getting a great degree just four years ago.

*runs for the hills*

Yep.  My six year old niece has weddings with her stuffed animals, or makes her dad marry her in the living room.  My six year old son likes to see what fits up his nose.  

This!  I agree that it's a combination of marketing and society's general self-absorption....the "I DESERVE this" mentality.  Personally, I find over-the-top weddings partly sad, partly embarrassing, and partly disgusting.  As someone else mentioned, I can't imagine spending a down payment on a home - for a one day party.   We had a very small wedding with less than 30 close family members and friends.  We wear wedding bands ( I didn't want or need a $10,000 diamond on my finger).  But we have a wonderful home, a strong retirement nest egg, and we've taken some great vacations since we're careful about our finances.  Neither of us came 'from money' so we made choices that will  maximize our quality of life long term.

IMO it's all marketing - a combination of Disney, chick flicks, and bridal boutiques that make you feel like you NEED to do this or that. That you DESERVE the $10K dress and splurging is okay since it will be your only wedding day (heh). Have any of you guys ever been into a bridal boutique before??

An obsession over material things, combined with overwhelming emotion.

Also, Pinterest magnifies this by 1 billion percent.

I'm surprised this was asked. I figured everyone knew it's not literal. 

I thought it was generally known that it's the girl that "generally" dreams of their wedding day since being a kid and in most cases, is far more choosy in the decorations, the dress selection, the flowers,etc - basically, the entire event.

The man on the other hand is far LESS concerned about those kind of details.  I let my wife plan everything she wanted to make it a special day for her.  It was going to be a special day for "us" no matter what - we were getting married.  But the details was the icing on the cake to make is special for her (HER day).  The only place I put any input in was the food and the bar selections!  I also picked out my tux, (which her buy in).

Ok, I KNOW all the girls from BT are going to jump in and say "NOT ME".  Tri girls, at least the ones that would respond, probably are not into the girlie stuff in the first place.

Someone might as well get it over with. *deep breath*

It's her day because it's her big day out in a pretty dress, looking absolutely fantastic and happy as she becomes someone else's property consigned to domestic duties and child bearing while letting herself go in the process.

Whereas the man will have plenty more days while he builds a great career, continues to go out with his friends (the woman will only have other mothers at the school as acquaintances and there won't be any socialising beyond talking about other mums at the school gates, until they get a dog, then they might walk the dog together sometimes but soon realise they'd never be friends in normal circumstances and start avoiding each other) under the illusion that he is a 'provider' but really he spends the vast majority of his income on stuff he wants to get like triathlon gear and cars while giving the woman a measly allowance to buy food and complain that she spends too much on domestic appliances.

On top of that the brides dad is expected to pay for the whole thing and he wants it known as 'her day' because he can't court the thought of spending 20k on a free bar for a load of strangers getting drunk and least of all the bloke who's sleeping with his daughter and about to lead her into a life of miserable under achievement (see above) after she showed great professional promise by getting a great degree just four years ago.

*runs for the hills*

Someone might as well get it over with. *deep breath*

It's her day because it's her big day out in a pretty dress, looking absolutely fantastic and happy as she becomes someone else's property consigned to domestic duties and child bearing while letting herself go in the process.

Whereas the man will have plenty more days while he builds a great career, continues to go out with his friends (the woman will only have other mothers at the school as acquaintances and there won't be any socialising beyond talking about other mums at the school gates, until they get a dog, then they might walk the dog together sometimes but soon realise they'd never be friends in normal circumstances and start avoiding each other) under the illusion that he is a 'provider' but really he spends the vast majority of his income on stuff he wants to get like triathlon gear and cars while giving the woman a measly allowance to buy food and complain that she spends too much on domestic appliances.

On top of that the brides dad is expected to pay for the whole thing and he wants it known as 'her day' because he can't court the thought of spending 20k on a free bar for a load of strangers getting drunk and least of all the bloke who's sleeping with his daughter and about to lead her into a life of miserable under achievement (see above) after she showed great professional promise by getting a great degree just four years ago.

*runs for the hills*

Think that's bad?  A good friend of mine who is Indian is getting married soon.  While she and her fiance are being reasonable with the wedding spending, she says it is quite common in India for the bride's parents to go into severe debt in order to have a six figure wedding.  

In some parts of the country though, it is customary for the groom's parents to do the spending.  Either way, you break the bank.  That's just how it's done.

Her fiance, also Indian, does quite well and his parents do okay financially.  When his sister got married, he chipped in $100K because the parents' $100K alone was not going to be enough.  Since he makes good money, it was just expected that he would do that.  Now that's one expensive party.

Oh...and he chipped in an ADDITIONAL $100K toward the down payment of his sister and brother-in-law's new home.

It's all relative I suppose!