How much can you spend w/out discussing with your spouse? (Page 2)

We have more of an electronic envelope system. Different accounts in different banks have differing purposes. Operating expenses, savings, taxes/IRS, Health care, etc.

what if your kid is a really talented singer or pianist or painter?  i catch myself often reminding my husband how different we are from our parents, and you have NO CLUE what your kids are going to be like whenever they come along.  he just wants to have a catch with his son...what if he hates baseball!!???

Funny!!  That's ALL I wanted too because I grew up playing ball.......my son was terrible at it, and hated it....and I've been shelling money out for triathlon ever since. LOL

Baseball sure would have been cheaper.

We discuss anything more than $50.  My wife is a stay at home mom, for now.  When she returns to the workforce, we will probably still keep that threshold.  As stated many time before, respect your spouse.  We both have things we like and we just talk and plan and budget.

OK, I'll redefine.  If it encourages a talent and NOT a "sit on your butt" thing?  I'll support it.  That's the message I was trying to send.  It could very well be dance if they take after their mom.  So I'll spring for the outfits and classes without much issue.  A PS 100 (or whatever they will be up to by then?) not as likely.  Or they can play with me on mine!

Also, your question doesn't really have validity.  If he "hates" baseball, he's/she's not going to ask for a glove, would he/she?  I'm not going to buy stuff to make them do things.  I'm just saying that if they ask for something to pursue an activity other than sitting on their can?  I'll support it.

Right...  Hockey may be the only thing that could beat triathlon in cost...

That's amazing.

i would have a huge issue with that - not even because of the money amount, but because you are stuck LIVING IN that purchase.  if he buys a jetski, whatever, doesn't affect me, but a HOUSEEEEE????????  you crazy!

Trust me on this....compared to triathlon at the level he is,  baseball would be posket change.

OK that makes more sense.... 

Yeah, I was going to say...

Same thing goes for cars, to be honest.  Those Christmas car commercials?  When a new Lexus is sitting out front with a big bow on it?  They make me uneasy.  NO WAY am I buying a car for my wife as a "gift" without knowing exactly what she wants.  I guess I play out the story in my head that they actually talked and knew exactly what they wanted and it was just a surprise (yes, I know it's just paid actors and not real). 

I can't imagine getting a car without discussing likes and dislikes and needs and monthly payments.  Most likely, you will have it for 10 years?  My two current cars are a 2003 and 2004.  But again, I guess it's your "situation" that may permit that.

After going through the financial turmoil that my ex put me in and having to dig myself out of that mess, I will mention any small purchases I'm going to make (outside of groceries) up to about $100.  Anything more than that and we'll have a discussion about it, but it usually comes down to "if we can afford it and all the bills etc. are taken care of, then go ahead".  

While we have separate chequing accounts (he pays for some household bills, I pay for others), we also have a joint savings account - something that I said I would never, EVER do again due to the aforementioned turmoil - but we had to due to my immigration.  Having said that, I'm happy with the way things are set up right now and wouldn't change it.  

To me, it comes down to respecting your partner and relationship, and finding out what will work best for the two of you.  

No set dollar amount. I don't think I need to discuss any purchase with my spouse first regardless of dollar value, but I would want to discuss most purchases with my spouse. I guess it has never come up and never been an issue for us.

Some factors to consider though is that we both make good money, we have no children, we live in an apartment, so we don't have much unbudgeted house spending, our cars are old and only get driven on average once a month or once a week, and we hardly buy anything.

It all depends.

Will the purchase jeopardize payment of other bills?  If so, whether it's $2 or $2000, it should be discussed.  

Are there other ramifications to the purchase?  Maybe it isn't an issue buying a $8000 jetski without consultation, but then there are practical impacts like where wil it be stored and insured.  As another example, would you take in a "free" animal (kitten, puppy) without consulting your partner?  

Some people (like me) don't spend a lot of money on latte's or daily "luxuries" but want to drop $600+ on a race.  Others spend small amounts continuously.  

Does the expense condone other behavior? I was at a small group meeting and one of the ladies talked about slipping their daughter $50 for gas as the daughter prepared to leave from the holidays.  Did the husband and wife miss the $50?  Doubtful.  But...what if he'd already given the child $50? What if the child did the "shakedown" and he declined to pay for part of the trip?  

If it's a gift for her, no limit.  If it's a gift for myself, about 10 bucks...

Ba dump dump...   cliché joke...