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2015-01-24 9:31 PM

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Subject: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and piss and moan.

How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that.

/end/poor/me/rant


2015-01-24 10:04 PM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by rizztalah


I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan.

How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that.

/end/poor/me/rant


Sounds tough, and I wouldn't presume to know your situation well enough to make my response any more than a grain of salt. I have similar issues, get very frustrated because I want time to train, but my priority has to be my family over exercise so if they need me, I cannot train as much as I'd like. So I have rollers/trainer for bike, and am thinking of getting a treadmill. I sneak in workouts. I also do it during work hours (lunch, or before leaving for work after the family is gone).

That said, I would have a nice sit-down with just me and my SO, and talk it out: as you know it's always a freakin' negotiation once you have kids. I now have Thursday evenings to train or do whatever, and my wife gets Tuesday nights for her Ukelele class. Have you tried bartering like that for weekend workouts?

Good to see someone else has these issues, I haven't resolved them by any means, it seems to come up at least once a week. Hang in there!

Edited by neuronet 2015-01-24 10:05 PM
2015-01-25 7:59 AM
in reply to: rizztalah

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

You HAVE to sit down with your husband and talk this out.  Talk.  Not argue.  Both of you have to be on the same page.  What are you training for and when do you do it?  Being a triathlete is tough.  It's balance of life and training.

2015-01-25 9:16 AM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by rizztalahBeing home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that. /end/poor/me/rant
I agree with a conversation on the subject is warranted. Not being sure what your goals, schedule, obligations are take this with a grain of salt. I realized when I started training for this stuff its just a hobby for me. I structure pretty much all my training around the kids schedule. Sometimes it sucks but one of my goals is this stuff never comes before family. That's kept a good balance at home and my wife will push/motivate me out of the house when I dragging a bit. So for me the compromise of an occasional dropped workout goes a long way. Im only training for or up to HIM so not sure what a full would do to my lifestyle. Getting a workout in when angry or depressed is hard. Sometimes it can bring me out of a funk and other times I mail it in. Beyond it all the last part of your quote, I hope that changes for you soon! Not a judgement. ETA - cant figure out why posts from iPad turn into one run on paragraph ?

Edited by Goggles Pizzano 2015-01-25 9:18 AM
2015-01-25 9:17 AM
in reply to: rizztalah


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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

Maybe you have just look at things differently. Your training should be an escape. That is your time to get out and do what you want. If I am angry about anything before I head out for a tough workout, those issues are gone by the time I get back. For one, I am usually too tired to be confrontational about anything, and two, I just feel better emotionally. Glad I got my training in, natural endorphins, etc...

Your life issues are there to be dealt with, and I would just address those problems how you see fit, and be content that you are handling things and not worry much beyond that. Think for a bit, make a decision, and go with it. No sense in worrying or fretting when you have better things to do.

As far as your family thinking you are selfish for wanting to train, perhaps they should evaluate their daily routines. How much TV do they sit and watch, or how much time do they waste doing whatever other things they pursue, are they 100% dedicated to supporting the family from the moment they wake until they go to bed? Probably not. And if they are, maybe they should take a little "me" time and perhaps they wouldn't be so wound up.

You just have a different schedule. If you are up and have your training mostly done before everyone is even out of bed, or if you hop on the trainer after the kids are down for the night, what's the harm? Unless you are constantly doing big training days during "family time," then don't let their complaints get to you. They are unfounded and unreasonable.

That said I don't know your situation, but many people who do these endurance sports run into some conflict, and sometimes they are being selfish. Just figure out your situation, honestly assess your time commitments, and come to some compromise.
2015-01-25 9:20 AM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

[QUOTE]Originally posted by rizztalah I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... 

but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan. How do I get out of this slump?

Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that. /end/poor/me/rant

This is what I would suggest that you do based upon what was written in your post.

1. Sit down and be really honest about why you train and do triathlons. Just from reading your post it appears that you are using it as a way to avoid being with your family. I may be totally off base with my assumption. BUT if that is the case then you need to own it and figure out why you feel this way. What changed in your marriage/family? What need or hole are you trying to fill with triathlon?

2. Was the fight with MIL about triathlons and your feelings towards your family? IMO- once the MIL knows that things are going sour in your marriage/family you've got a problem on your hands.

3. Yes, training for triathlons is a very selfish sport. No question about that. If you're going to remain married you're going to have to figure out a way to make it work within the framework of your family and life. Making triathlon a priority and your family second if a recipe for divorce. There are multiple ways to make it work with your family. When you're ready to do that the people on BT can give you hundreds of suggestions and hints.

4. Why are you pissed off and mad? I would venture to say because in your heart you know that you've misaligned your priorities for a while and it is time to get back on track. Instead of being mad try to use this as a learning opportunity.

5. What are you training for? Do you have a coach? A good coach will write a plan that works with your life and help you get your priorities in order.

 



Edited by Catwoman 2015-01-25 9:26 AM


2015-01-25 12:13 PM
in reply to: #5086810

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Hmmm I'm trying to imagine a situation where it would matter to me what my mother in law thought of my workout habits. I can't think of one.

2015-01-25 12:49 PM
in reply to: Catwoman

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Just one thing to add to what the others have said:

Get your MIL out of the loop. Whatever disagreements you and your husband have need to be worked out within your marriage. If he is complaining to her about you and getting his whole family against you on this, then you have a bigger problem than triathlon training.
2015-01-25 3:16 PM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

I have no idea what your family obligations are on a day-to-day basis, but when I started this sport with no family, I had the bug and was still a lifter - I spent a lot of time at the gym and trails much to the detriment of my marriage - and I was only at the sprint/Oly level.  We had some close calls but I eventually moderated these activities - and they rightly needed to be as I was super selfish with free time.

Now with two kids, with as busy as elementary school is, kids swimming and piano, there is no way I could train for anything long and be around for my family.  Like all of us here, this is our outlet...but it has to mesh with the family.  For my current situation, there wouldn't be any way to train for longer events (HIM/IM?) that you seem to be training for.  Those workouts start around an hour long and go up from there, then the time to prep for them and drive back and forth from them - and then the long stuff on the weekends when all the family is around.  I agree that it's tough, I wouldn't even begin to think about long workouts like that until my kids are driving in high school - or even at college.  *BUT there are a lot of long distance people here with family that find some awfully creative ways to fit workouts in NOT on family time.

I have contented myself to 30 minute workouts, and I can get them done at lunch.  I can do short weekend escapes if I need to.  Those shorter workouts don't cramp the family style and they will keep you fit-as-a-fiddle and sprint/oly race ready.

I do understand how you feel, doing this for 10+ years, when I consistently do workout for over 45 minutes, I start feeling that anything less will ruin my fitness, I then feel that I 'need' to fit that workout in at any cost or I'm grumpy.  When I'm grumpy the family picks up on it and that is never good.  I then get too driven and consumed with maintaining the workouts.  The 30 minute mark seems to be a magic mark for me and keeps me moderated, still happy and fit and the family it happy.

Like others have said, talk to your husband and find a balance somewhere that will keep everyone happy.  Good luck!

2015-01-25 3:40 PM
in reply to: rizztalah

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
I agree with the above commenter in regard to not caring what your mother in law thinks. My mother in law thinks I'm selfish and self absorbed, but is glowingly proud of her son because he is in a white collar prison (he works with the ex mayor of Charlotte in the laundry room, don't ya know). Oh, and he worked as a janitor before he got locked up, so this is the closest he's come to ever being called white collar...anyway, I digress...point is, don't sweat the MIL.

Regarding triathlon; it is kind of selfish...well a lot selfish honestly. I personally make sure I give for what I get. i.e. I have a long workout, I take the kids to the park and give my wife a break later in the day. I also take on more around the house now that my training it high (cooking, cleaning, chores, etc). My wife comes to my races, so I go to hers (she runs). She doesn't train as much as I do, but I do my best to be fair with our training schedules. That sort of thing. Just be mindful of to give for the take. Now, you may be doing that already and just not getting noticed for it, and if that's the case, then it's more a matter of communication.
2015-01-25 5:43 PM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

I don't have much to add--except to agree with many of the posters.  You need to have an honest communication with the husband and make a realistic schedule that you both can live with.  I have worked very hard to keep my workouts invisible--I am up by 4:00am during the week to get all workouts done before my family even wakes up.  It's not so much a sacrifice as it is a choice.  If I want to continue with my triathlon training I will continue to get up early.  The flip side is I go to bed early, but that's the schedule that works for us.  My daughters are 10 and 15 now so much more independent but I started the early training when my first daughter was a toddler.  I was not going to give up time with her just to train.  I also very much agree with the posters who said to keep in mind this is a hobby--I'm no pro, if I have to miss a training session for family stuff, I'll do it happily and make it up somewhere along the week if I can.  If you are using your training as an escape to get away from your kids/'hubby/responsibilities then you may have bigger fish to fry then just losing training mojo.  I hope you can find a balance that works for you and your family.



Edited by ingleshteechur 2015-01-25 5:44 PM


2015-01-25 8:21 PM
in reply to: rizztalah

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

Originally posted by rizztalah I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan. How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that. /end/poor/me/rant

You've got a bigger problem than triathlon.  You should probably work on that problem first.

2015-01-25 8:34 PM
in reply to: ingleshteechur

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by ingleshteechur

I don't have much to add--except to agree with many of the posters.  You need to have an honest communication with the husband and make a realistic schedule that you both can live with.  I have worked very hard to keep my workouts invisible--I am up by 4:00am during the week to get all workouts done before my family even wakes up.  It's not so much a sacrifice as it is a choice.  If I want to continue with my triathlon training I will continue to get up early.  The flip side is I go to bed early, but that's the schedule that works for us.  My daughters are 10 and 15 now so much more independent but I started the early training when my first daughter was a toddler.  I was not going to give up time with her just to train.  I also very much agree with the posters who said to keep in mind this is a hobby--I'm no pro, if I have to miss a training session for family stuff, I'll do it happily and make it up somewhere along the week if I can.  If you are using your training as an escape to get away from your kids/'hubby/responsibilities then you may have bigger fish to fry then just losing training mojo.  I hope you can find a balance that works for you and your family.




I am the opposite, I tend to train late. Both can work IF they match your sleep patterns.

I agree with LB, something is seriously wrong and needs addressing sooner than later. Its hardest when one partner makes major lifestyle changes and the other is either left behind or lacking desire despite the other spouses efforts.
2015-01-25 8:45 PM
in reply to: 3mar

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by 3mar

I agree with the above commenter in regard to not caring what your mother in law thinks. My mother in law thinks I'm selfish and self absorbed, but is glowingly proud of her son because he is in a white collar prison (he works with the ex mayor of Charlotte in the laundry room, don't ya know). Oh, and he worked as a janitor before he got locked up, so this is the closest he's come to ever being called white collar...anyway, I digress...point is, don't sweat the MIL.

Regarding triathlon; it is kind of selfish...well a lot selfish honestly. I personally make sure I give for what I get. i.e. I have a long workout, I take the kids to the park and give my wife a break later in the day. I also take on more around the house now that my training it high (cooking, cleaning, chores, etc). My wife comes to my races, so I go to hers (she runs). She doesn't train as much as I do, but I do my best to be fair with our training schedules. That sort of thing. Just be mindful of to give for the take. Now, you may be doing that already and just not getting noticed for it, and if that's the case, then it's more a matter of communication.


I take the lead on my son's activities with respect to volunteer commitments and take him to all his track/xc sessions. We split swimming and water polo up between us and grandma. But my mom helps my sister with her kids too. She took 2 of the 5 to a water polo tournament in Edmonton this weekend. I take my daughter to all her swim lessons and swim with her instead of having a volunteer help (she has cerebral palsy and needs help). I also make sure my wife has time to get to the gym.

2015-01-27 2:16 PM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by Left Brain

Originally posted by rizztalah I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan. How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that. /end/poor/me/rant

You've got a bigger problem than triathlon.  You should probably work on that problem first.




Yes, good point that sentence stuck out for me too. There is something really amiss if you hate being around your husband and kids. Triathlon can't be the sole cause here, and probably not even the primary cause.

I wonder if we'll get a follow-up post?

Edited by neuronet 2015-01-27 2:18 PM
2015-01-27 3:14 PM
in reply to: rizztalah

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Long distance triathlons are a family affair. If you don't have the support of your husband and children, and you want to remain an intact family, then you need to reassess your goals.

However, I suspect this has little to do with triathlons and more to do with the current state of your marriage. Being a mom and and wife is tough without the stress of triathlon training, and it's okay to vent - especially to strangers - but I would be careful not to say the things you said here to your family. You can't take your words back.

I hope things turn around for you. And I agree with the others - don't take too much stress over mother-in-law issues!


2015-01-27 6:27 PM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by neuronet

Originally posted by Left Brain

Originally posted by rizztalah I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan. How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that. /end/poor/me/rant

You've got a bigger problem than triathlon.  You should probably work on that problem first.




Yes, good point that sentence stuck out for me too. There is something really amiss if you hate being around your husband and kids. Triathlon can't be the sole cause here, and probably not even the primary cause.

I wonder if we'll get a follow-up post?

I agree. It sounds like being confused, pissed off, lack of energy, lack motivation etc applies to life in general - the original post has very little to do with triathlon.
Not interested in a follow up post - none of my business.
2015-01-28 10:05 AM
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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by rizztalah
How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it.



This line stood out to me and made me pause. You hate being around your husband and family? Based on my complete lack of family psychology skills, i think you have bigger fish to fry than finding time for triathlon. I have a wife and child too. Triathlon training is definitely not a way for me to get away from them. I do everything I can to do my training at times when they wouldnt' be around anyway. Early morning before they wake up, during his naps, immediately after work(I get off before my wife who picks up our son) or when she's putting him to bed at night.
If you are using training to avoid family(hopefully i misunderstood) you might have much bigger issues to look into.

You just can't do this sport without support of your family. Immediate family, i wouldn't care at all what the in laws think, aside from the fact that their opinions are likely based on what your husband is saying when you're not around.

You have to have a conversation with him about this. Why does your family suck your energy and motivation? Did you get into this sport before or after you met? I don't know how old your kids are, but is there anyway of involving them? Either running with a stroller if they're young, or having them ride your bike along with you while your run?

I can imagine it would be very hard to train knowing how people feel about you and constantly thinking about what they're saying. But there's always two sides, and it would help to try and have a talk, not an argument, but a talk and try to get his perspective on it. Being the spouse of a triathlete has got to be VERY hard, and it something we don't often think about.
2015-01-28 4:49 PM
in reply to: miamiamy

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by miamiamy

Hmmm I'm trying to imagine a situation where it would matter to me what my mother in law thought of my workout habits. I can't think of one.




Bahaha. Love it. And true!!
2015-01-28 8:19 PM
in reply to: rizztalah

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by rizztalah


I'll try to make it short since there's always good stuff to read on here! But OMG, first I had an unfortunate blow out with the mother in law, a few weeks ago, and then last night had a major blowup with the spouse. He's reluctantly supportive of my love for triathlon... Anyway, since we've been squabbling I've had 0 desire to do anything. I just feel confused and pissed off. I ditched out on a 50 mile ride today, scarfed on disgusting McDonald's and took a 2 hr nap. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do the heavier day of long runs and swims but I honestly just want to sit around and be mad and mope and and moan.

How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it. Everyone in my family (husbands side) thinks I'm selfish for wanting to train and it's hard to enjoy training at times now thinking that.

/end/poor/me/rant


Sounds like your issue isn't training, its deeper than that. If you hate being around husband and family, you may want to investigate that first. From what you describe, your training is covering your issues being with family. Good luck.
2015-01-28 8:24 PM
in reply to: TriDadinAsheville

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Originally posted by TriDadinAsheville

Originally posted by rizztalah
How do I get out of this slump? Being home around husband and kids just sucks my energy and motivation. I hate it.



This line stood out to me and made me pause. You hate being around your husband and family? Based on my complete lack of family psychology skills, i think you have bigger fish to fry than finding time for triathlon. I have a wife and child too. Triathlon training is definitely not a way for me to get away from them. I do everything I can to do my training at times when they wouldnt' be around anyway. Early morning before they wake up, during his naps, immediately after work(I get off before my wife who picks up our son) or when she's putting him to bed at night.
If you are using training to avoid family(hopefully i misunderstood) you might have much bigger issues to look into.

You just can't do this sport without support of your family. Immediate family, i wouldn't care at all what the in laws think, aside from the fact that their opinions are likely based on what your husband is saying when you're not around.

You have to have a conversation with him about this. Why does your family suck your energy and motivation? Did you get into this sport before or after you met? I don't know how old your kids are, but is there anyway of involving them? Either running with a stroller if they're young, or having them ride your bike along with you while your run?

I can imagine it would be very hard to train knowing how people feel about you and constantly thinking about what they're saying. But there's always two sides, and it would help to try and have a talk, not an argument, but a talk and try to get his perspective on it. Being the spouse of a triathlete has got to be VERY hard, and it something we don't often think about.


Couldnt agree more. When my son was young and active in sports, I never would have been able to train for anything. I ran a little, but mostly to keep from being huge. My son was/is my first priority. It wasnt until he got older (senior in HS) that I got into triathlon. In fact, I was a single digit handicap golfer who went from playing 2-3 times per week, to playing 5 times per year. My son and family came first. I have a finite amount of time with my son. He is now 20 and going to college in the South. I see him 3 times per semster and cry everytime he leaves. The OP needs to find happiness in her family first to be truly happy in life.


2015-01-28 8:59 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

You've got a bigger problem than triathlon.  You should probably work on that problem first.




Seriously????! ^^^^^^ times 10k time over. Being home with your husband and kids drains the life out of you???? WTF what a crappy thing to say. Have you told this man that he and your kids suck the life out of you? You hate it??? Are you making a living at Triathlon? is it keeping you in a high profile lifestyle that you can not attain without your "long run"? I would love to be a fly on that wall when you an average triathlete that allows it to consume your life tells a man that you are married to and have kids with that your hobby is more important than your marriage and kids..... You need help
2015-01-29 6:28 PM
in reply to: Tryrn

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Hating being around someone does not mean you hate the person. It may simply mean you hate what they currently symbolize or conjure up in you.
Address that in yourself first, resolve it truthfully and then you can most likely more effectively discuss details with them.

It is also not a crime to feel drained and unmotivated because of children (#1 - they do, in many ways, suck the life out of you).
I don't think recognizing this inner conflict between that aspect of your children and your personal desire to have your own training etc. is as bad as some people are making it out to be. What one person's balance is, may be another's imbalance. You have to find it for yourself and still meet your responsibilities. If this personal endeavor into consuming training is something that manifested after marriage and children then therein lies the divide.
Don't think everyone will be pleased all the time if that's the case. Best you can probably hope for is happiest middle ground you can find. That requires understanding of everyone's needs and probably best verbalized to each other (except for the children, depending on age,they can't exactly verbalize needs well)

If it is WHO YOU WERE prior to marriage, then did he understand what made you who you are beforehand? What changed?
If it is who you were prior to being a mother, then, for sure, you're wise enough to understand that things can't possibly be the same with responsibilities of motherhood.

Good luck, hope you find that balance and (still achieve personal success within that)
2015-01-29 6:46 PM
in reply to: TJHammer

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo

^^^ Wise guy

2015-01-29 7:26 PM
in reply to: jeng

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Subject: RE: *drama* Family Fighting is killing my training mojo
Good points. I know sometimes having a kid sucks. I want the freedom I used to have, but is gone. It's healthy to acknowledge these feelings. Otherwise they will come out in weird passive aggressive ways. What used to be a zero-thought decision/statement (I'm going on a six hour bike ride with friends, with zero notice) becomes a whole pain in the negotiation (What can I trade you so I can go out with my friends in two weeks). That's the deal I made with myself before having a child: I am going to give up freedom in return I will have a child. Is it worth it?

Sometimes.
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