Spouse Support - Good or Bad (Page 2)

Put my wife in the "very supportive" category. 

She jock strapped for me during RAGBRAI in 2003.  She cooked my breakfast before I left, took down the campsite after I left, loaded in our Explorer by herself, stopped each day to get food, met me for lunch, drove ahead to set up the campsite, AND had cold beer ready for my arrival each day.  All this so I could ride 40-100 miles each day for seven days straight.  (She even let this count as "vacation" for us.)

I jokingly call her my "domestique" but dang if I can get her to wear the uniform with the fishnets anymore.

I've responded to a similar thread and am writing again here. 

My BF of almost 9 years (we don't live together) is somewhat supportive since I started this hobby 3 years ago, and he has no interest in swim/bike/run.  He doesn't care if I'm training or not.  Many times we made plans to meet e.g. at his home and I told him I'd be there after swimming/running and he'll wait.  Many times I rode on the trainer while he made dinner.    Some times he'd drop me off at the Y where I go swimming and he'd do something else.  Or he'd go play a round of golf with friends while I ride the bike - I'd arrive the golf course around the time they're done and hang out afterward.  He only went to my first race.  I told him he doesn't need to attend anymore if he doesn't feel like - his presence doesn't affect anything.  It's not fair for him to get up before dawn, stand there for 3-5 hours only to see me for 5 minutes during transitions. 

We have different life styles and very independent of each other but fill in each other's gaps very well.  

Shortyy and Rowdy -- I'm sorry you're not in a more supportive situation.  I hope it works out! 

Here is a list of the sports I like to do that my husband does not:  Biking, running, swimming, taekwon do, spinning, horseback riding, aerobics -- I could go on, but you get the point.

He will occasionally drag himself to the gym with me and we recently started practicing yoga together -- but the main point is:  I love him and he loves me and we both take responsibility for our own happiness but care deeply about the others happiness. So that means we pitch in as much as we can to contribute to the others happiness. 

Last summer he drove 2 hours to pick my friend and I up at the end of a charity ride and drive us home.  He showed up with cold drinks and the A/C running.  He did that because he LOVES me -- but he doesn't want to be with me on a bike all day.

I have paddled him down rivers and streams while he fished -- I have even gone out on ocean boats (never knew a human could turn that color green!).  I don't fish but I LOVE him and he loves to fish. 

That sums it up.  16 years together and if we had another 50, it wouldn't be enough.

Mine is definately unsupportive as I have written in the past and part of it is my fault.  She just doesn't understand it and since she does not like excercising she is partly jealous (she has admitted) that I like it so much.  I try and do most of my training at lunch or early but do have to take some "Me" time.  I let her have all the "Me" time she needs but for some reason that does not matter.  I don't think I spend that much money on the sport as I could, I don't buy alot of normal clothes and my car payment is alot less than hers.  She has been to a few running races but no tris (actually she tried to go to one but got there late). 

As I mentioned part of this is my fault.  She was doing better until last mother's day.  There was a local tri club doing a swim on Mother's Day (WTF, why would you schedule this), abot a month before my first OW Tri and I asked if I could go early and come back and the rest of the day would be her's.  She said that was okay but as the day got closer she did not want me to go.  I explained to her my fear of OW and that my race would not be wetsuit legal and I did not want to drown.  I ended up going and paniced big time but eventually calmed down and even meet up with a few BTer's after to practice and nailed my race.  Otherwise I probably would have drowned.  I explained to her that in the future there would be no need to go to these swims but in this case I felt I needed to.  Not the smartest thing to do but if she made plans on Father's day and left me with my son all day long I would not care at all, but that is me.

I am envious of the people with supportive SO as having someone at my race would be nice sometimes but I do understand her not coming to most races since they start at the butt crack of dawn and I don't want her to get my son up that early.  I wish she would realize that I maybe take 4-5 hours a week max of "me" time and she is more than welcome to take that much for herself.

This is somewhat of a difficult question to answer.  At times it has been good and at times it has been bad.   When I first started training, my wife started running too.  She was doing well, but after her first 5k, she felt so slow that she gave up.  She then became very unsupportive of what i was doing.  She started saying that i was spending too much time away from her and our daughter and that she wasnt getting enough "her" time.  So I completely rearranged my schedule and tried to work it out so that I had the maximum hours at home and she could have some "her" time.   The problem came when she would never take any "her" time.   She would then say that she wasnt spending enough time with our daughter.... It was a vicious cycle.   She attended only one of my races last year and complained about it most of the time she was there.   

This fall I think we finally found a balance, hopefully it will last.  She has been more supportive and she signed off on me doing a HIM this year.   I was sure to show her my training plan before and assure her that I wouldnt be gone very much more than i am now.  I am hoping this support will last and I am optimistic that it will.  
Josh  

My wife has shown up to one race.  My first one as it was local and only two miles from my dad’s house where we stayed the night before (dad, step mom, and our 6 month old son came also).  She is ultra supportive and has on occasion suggested I get out on a run or bike on a weekend while our son was napping.  Yes, she thinks I’m crazy for running outside in the winter and for starting some runs at 9pm, but she always asks where I will be running (through the subdivision across the street with very little traffic).

Also, with two kids (this year) and her working every Saturday morning, it is difficult for her to make some races.  On top of that, she has fibromyalgia (which affects the muscles and inhibits the ability for anything endurance….like hauling kids around while daddy races), so I at least understand some of her not being at races and seeing my finish.

She has taken a ‘grin and bear’ it attitude to having my bike on the trainer (on a big sheet of cardboard) in the living room so I can slide it in front of the tv when I ride.  She doesn’t like it yet she also understands that the training makes for a happy hubby and a more fit hubby.

And to sum up:  I Love her for all that and more.

This thread is great!  Glad to know that I am not alone out there.

My wife is in the middle - she doesn't discourage me, but she sure doesn't encourage me either.  She's convinced that this is just my latest obsession (I do tend to have an obsessive personality), which I do not find very supportive, but has given me the determination to prove her wrong.

Her biggest complaint is the time it takes away from the family so I have done my best to arrange my schedule to workout at lunch or early morning on the weekends. 

She was put out when I asked her to attend my first half marathon, but begrudingly went anyway.   Having her and the kids there was just not as satisfying as I thought it would be so I'm not going to push the issue for her to attend any other races.