General Discussion Triathlon Talk » Spouse Support - Good or Bad Rss Feed  
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2008-01-03 1:26 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Extreme Veteran
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Western MA
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

My husband has only gone to one tri - and complained about everything the entire time. He very begrudgingly went to my marathon (guilted into it by my parents) and was miserable.  I now tell him to stay home, because I'm happier if he's not there.........sounds bad, I know, but I figure this way we both have less stress.   

It does suck, though, crossing the finish line knowing there's no one there to cheer you on.

  I just joined a tri club for 2008 with the hope of making a few friends to alleviate this problem - I guess I just need to find a few people as crazy dedicated as I think I am...



Z
2008-01-03 1:35 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Master
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Reston, VA
Gold member
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
My husband and I are both active. He is doing adventure races and marathons, I do tris and running races. We have to support each other ;-)
2008-01-03 1:45 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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COURT JESTER
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ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

Forgot to mention that during the summer of 2006 I asked my wife if she would be okay with me combining a vacation with a race if one was available.  She said Yes. 

 

*will try to remember to announce when that holds true or not.

2008-01-03 1:46 PM
in reply to: #1131132

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Master
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Fort Worth
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

EABonney - 2008-01-03 10:52 AM All of these posts have made me realize just how lucky I am! I just went upstairs to my wife (who is sick right now ) and give her a huge hug and kiss and said thanks! I am so glad that she is supportive of whatever I want to do. It does help that for the most part our kids are older and one of them is out of the house. As I indicated in my previous reply, it also helps a lot that she enjoys walking and going for bike rides. We try to do what we can together, but at this point 99% of my training is done alone and without her.

I read this post and it is identical to my wife. She is very supportive but it's my thing and not something she wants to do but she is happy with the physical outcome.

2008-01-03 2:03 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Champion
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Fountain Hills, AZ
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
Curiously, it's not her support I am interested in, I am content with simple acceptance and a degree of pride in my accomplishments from her. That I do get now from her. Maybe it's my only child syndrome, but I function best when left to my own devices. It's nice to see her at the finish line, but if she doesn't feel like getting up early to stand around barley seeing me, that's fine too. There were times during IM training where she was openly hostile towards my participation in the sport due to the time and $, and I understood her psoition.
2008-01-03 2:21 PM
in reply to: #1131393

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Champion
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Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
bryancd - 2008-01-03 2:03 PM Curiously, it's not her support I am interested in, I am content with simple acceptance and a degree of pride in my accomplishments from her. That I do get now from her. Maybe it's my only child syndrome, but I function best when left to my own devices. It's nice to see her at the finish line, but if she doesn't feel like getting up early to stand around barley seeing me, that's fine too. There were times during IM training where she was openly hostile towards my participation in the sport due to the time and $, and I understood her psoition.
This is exactly what I hope to acheive one day.  I really don't expect complete support in that I don't expect her to ask me to go take a 6 hour bike ride or spend $5k on a bike but when I say I am getting up at 4:30 to go swim, why would you care, you are sleeping.  You don't need to roll your eyes or ask if I am going ot see my girlfriend.  A little encouragement would be nice.


2008-01-03 2:26 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Pro
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Austin, Tejas
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
After reading this forum, i'm never getting married. ha. I love having my own schedule and not having to check in with anyone. Good luck to all of you who don't get the support you need and deserve. You have it here on BT!!!!

Edited by ATXtri 2008-01-03 2:26 PM
2008-01-03 2:31 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Extreme Veteran
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Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
My husband is kind of a confusing mix as well. He is very supportive of me in everything I do, but he just doesn't understand the triathlon thing and thinks it is crazy that anyone would want to do it. He does come to all the important races and cheers me on and takes pictures and is very proud of me whenever I PR or complete a new long distance. At the same time, he is always very skeptical that I will be able to complete the next distance (and he is positive I will not be able to complete an Ironman). I think proving him wrong has actually become one of my motivators. And I know he will always be there for me no matter what the outcome.
2008-01-03 2:44 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Master
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Pulaski TN
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
Well my fiance is awesome. We started dating towards my taper for IMAZ last year so she did not experience the whole season but she has made me one heck of a offer...I would like to get down to 185 or so by IMFL so she made me a bet that if I get down to that weight by 12/31/08 or sooner at that time she would buy me up to $5k worth of bike or upgrades on my current one. So I am bike shopping  like a champ just have to drop 70 pounds by the end of the year which will be 1.4 pounds a week which is very doable! So yes she supports me.
2008-01-03 3:11 PM
in reply to: #1131527

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Champion
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Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
cbost2678 - 2008-01-03 2:44 PM Well my fiance is awesome. We started dating towards my taper for IMAZ last year so she did not experience the whole season but she has made me one heck of a offer...I would like to get down to 185 or so by IMFL so she made me a bet that if I get down to that weight by 12/31/08 or sooner at that time she would buy me up to $5k worth of bike or upgrades on my current one. So I am bike shopping  like a champ just have to drop 70 pounds by the end of the year which will be 1.4 pounds a week which is very doable! So yes she supports me.
Lucky and good luck.
2008-01-03 4:24 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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Champion
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Brooklyn, NY
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
I go to some lengths to make sure that my training isn't overly burdensome or inconvenient for my wife, and doesn't detract from the time we spend with our son. I think that's key. Sometimes this makes for an inconsistent training regimen, but I'm not in this sport to podium at Kona.

I'd say my wife is very supportive, in her way. She's not a jump up and down and scream, cheerleader type, but she enjoys being at the races. Although she hasn't expressed an interest in jockstrapping, and is a little lukewarm when I've mentioned the possibility of training for an ironman one day, she comes to as many races as she can, takes pictures, and is a really good sport about the whole thing. Financially, we just don't have the money to afford carbon bikes and trips to exotic locales for races, so I don't make an issue of it. When I've needed to replace equipment or buy a component or register for a race, she's had no issues with it. She's finally, after years of not wanting one, started to make noise about getting a bike. I'm hoping to get her one in the Spring so we can ride together.


2008-01-03 4:43 PM
in reply to: #1130387

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Master
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Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

captantony - 2008-01-03 9:55 AM I met my completely wonderful GF through BT.  Nuff said.

2008-01-03 5:52 PM
in reply to: #1131464

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Champion
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Fountain Hills, AZ
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
ATXtri - 2008-01-03 2:26 PM
After reading this forum, i'm never getting married. ha.


Assuming that is a pic of you in your avatar, you may find that difficult!
2008-01-03 6:05 PM
in reply to: #1129235

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2008-01-03 6:30 PM
in reply to: #1129235

Master
2005
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South Florida
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

My husband is uber supportive.  I"m quite lucky that way!  He has bought me very nice bikes and continually looks for ways to help make me faster in the form of equipment   I don't really care if he comes to the local races, but he LOVED being at my Ironman, and was fired up, but I also have sort of promised the family I'd wait until 09 to do another.  He just misses being able to hang out at night with me, and then the long weekends. 

I think it helps he does his own thing with my son - BMX - which requires a lot of travel and time.  Sometimes I go to the races with them and my daughter, sometimes we have girls' weekends.  He also runs some with me, and has a road bike that currently is collecting dust (did a few sprints but doesn't like swimming)...plus there's the finding the time issue. 

It works for us.  I also mentioned I want to do some BMXing, which thrills him immensely...but again, it's just finding the time for all of it   

2008-01-03 9:26 PM
in reply to: #1132097

Pro
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Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
bryancd - 2008-01-03 5:52 PM

ATXtri - 2008-01-03 2:26 PM
After reading this forum, i'm never getting married. ha.


Assuming that is a pic of you in your avatar, you may find that difficult!


Funny you say that...


2008-01-04 12:10 PM
in reply to: #1129459

Expert
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Springfield, MO
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

possum - 2008-01-02 7:04 PM She gives me tons of love and support (financial and emotional) for all athletic/fitness endeavors, shows up to races (when she isn;t racing herself)  But she is 100% NOT down with BT addiction. I have to sneak it sometimes!  And now that my training has all but stopped, OK it has completely stopped, due to my pregnancy, she is REALLY anti BT.

Me too, except for the pregnancy part.

2008-01-04 12:29 PM
in reply to: #1129235

Master
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Robbinsville NJ
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
Right now I'm doing this in spite of my Wife sometimes. She loves that I'm in shape but never seems to want me to train and whenever I do a race or something I always end up owing her it seems. I haven't broken it to her yet that I plan on doing 8 - 10 events this year. That should go well, yeah right. Everyone who gets unconditional support that is awesome!
2008-01-04 12:54 PM
in reply to: #1129235

Master
2571
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Tiger's Den
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

My husband is very supportive- he'd buy me top of the line equipment if I asked. I just can't justify it right now (but one day I will).

He's into competive bass fishing, so he's gone practicing on the lake a whole bunch, and I've gone to the tournaments that I could. Brought my bike with me to a 4 day tournament last year and trained while he fished!

Now he's getting into tris and riding as a way to stay in shape, and completely understands my passion for the sport. He feels the same way about fishing (which I do occassionally with him.)

We have learned to make sure we carve out some us time when it gets crazy, but so far, it hasn't been an issue. He and a whole bunch of family members (mom, mil, aunt, 4 cousins) are coming to IM CDA with me in June. Derek, of course, plans to fish while we're there!

2008-01-04 1:18 PM
in reply to: #1129235

Master
3127
2000100010025
Sunny Southern Cal
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

The Good

My wife has no problem with my training whenever and however much I want, which is very nice. She and the kids didn't attend my one race last summer, and aren't planning on attending my HIM in March, which is okay with me. I am talking with my boys about doing a sprint together later this year, so she can get a firsthand view of the races then if the kids decide to do one.

The Bad

My only complaint is that she goes out of her way to stock the house with my favorite junk foods despite my requests that she not do so. We've argued about this so much that I've just given up on the subject -- it's become a point of significant resentment on my part. I don't understand why she does it, as it's pretty much a deliberate attempt to sabotage my fitness. She says that triathletes have icky bodies because they are too thin, while I'd be quite happy with dropping another 10+ lbs. from my current weight.

2008-01-04 1:56 PM
in reply to: #1129235

Expert
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Denver, Colorado
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
This sport is the reason I met my SO. We are always making sure the other person gets out and works out. Usually we end up at the same races and plan to be at the other person's races. This sport has definately given more more then good health.


2008-01-04 2:18 PM
in reply to: #1133951

COURT JESTER
12230
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ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
SevenZulu - 2008-01-04 12:18 PM

The Good

My wife has no problem with my training whenever and however much I want, which is very nice. She and the kids didn't attend my one race last summer, and aren't planning on attending my HIM in March, which is okay with me. I am talking with my boys about doing a sprint together later this year, so she can get a firsthand view of the races then if the kids decide to do one.

The Bad

My only complaint is that she goes out of her way to stock the house with my favorite junk foods despite my requests that she not do so. We've argued about this so much that I've just given up on the subject -- it's become a point of significant resentment on my part. I don't understand why she does it, as it's pretty much a deliberate attempt to sabotage my fitness. She says that triathletes have icky bodies because they are too thin, while I'd be quite happy with dropping another 10+ lbs. from my current weight.

Take the junk food to work, sell it to coworkers, turn a profit and get you some more tri gear.

2008-01-04 3:58 PM
in reply to: #1132097

Champion
7821
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Brooklyn, NY
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
bryancd - 2008-01-03 5:52 PM

ATXtri - 2008-01-03 2:26 PM
After reading this forum, i'm never getting married. ha.


Assuming that is a pic of you in your avatar, you may find that difficult!


...or easy, depending.
2008-01-04 4:36 PM
in reply to: #1134109

Master
3127
2000100010025
Sunny Southern Cal
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad

tupuppy - 2008-01-04 12:18 PM >Take the junk food to work, sell it to coworkers, turn a profit and get you some more tri gear.

 

Much better strategy than eating the junk food and selling my tri gear, thanks!  

2008-01-04 4:44 PM
in reply to: #1134592

Champion
5575
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Butler
Subject: RE: Spouse Support - Good or Bad
SevenZulu - 2008-01-04 4:36 PM

tupuppy - 2008-01-04 12:18 PM >Take the junk food to work, sell it to coworkers, turn a profit and get you some more tri gear.

 

Much better strategy than eating the junk food and selling my tri gear, thanks!  

Or just start throwing it in the trash.  Maybe she will get the idea after awhile of wasting food.
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