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Got married. What now? (Page 2)
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 2013-05-28 2:03 PM in reply to: Left Brain |
Master  2477    Oceanside, California |  Subject: RE: Got married. What now?Don't be cocky in responding to pre-marriage post-marriage jokes or cliches by saying "Not us" while you are still a newlywed. |
| 2013-05-28 2:07 PM in reply to: tricky_jgc |
Veteran 344 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by tricky_jgc So, fellow BTers. I got married last Saturday. What do I need to know about marriage? Thanks! Just one question will usually keep you out of trouble: "Do you want me to listen, or do you want me to fix it?" No charge! twomarks |
| 2013-05-28 2:12 PM in reply to: 0 |
| Regular 174 CT | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Lot good advice here. But beware those that belong in /sarc> Don't stop leading Always have a plan. Never stop dating your wife. Don't coast. You only get two 'sorry's, use them wisely. Be the rock. Share your liitle troubles with your guy friends, don't burden her with your insecurities. She will test your resolve, its whats they do, thats how she feels your love. Don't give up hanging around men. Be independant of her moods.Codependance is not sustainable. Needy is not sexy She is the ocean, you are the rock. She will crash into you in rage and her love will flow over you in ebb. It never stops. If the rock moves, the ocean will grind it into sand. Be her steady Rock. Edited by GottaSki 2013-05-28 2:13 PM |
| 2013-05-28 2:18 PM in reply to: blueyedbikergirl |
Master 2167 Livonia, MI | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by blueyedbikergirl Become a good cook! If the cooking were left up to me, we'd have starved to death by now... or we'd be dead. This may or may not have anything to do with the fire department being called to the apartment twice when I attempted to make something in the kitchen. Girl, sometimes I think you just read my mind! |
| 2013-05-28 3:53 PM in reply to: noelle1230 |
Expert 1951  | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Always choose to see the best in her. Always assume the best. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Love really is blind. |
| 2013-05-28 5:04 PM in reply to: KateTri1 |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Don't sweat the small stuff. |
| 2013-05-28 6:11 PM in reply to: mr2tony |
Elite 3290 Oliver, BC, "Wine Capital of Canada" | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Seems like a fitting chance for humour. (relationship.jpg) Attachments ---------------- relationship.jpg (102KB - 38 downloads) |
| 2013-05-28 6:33 PM in reply to: tricky_jgc |
Extreme Veteran 668 Melbourne | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Better to ask for forgiveness than permission - (this only applies to triathlon related purchases). Have 1 night a week with no tv - don't get into the habit of coming home from work, cooking dinner and plonking down in front of the tv. 1 night a week do something different, take turns in organising something different to do Don't get between her and her best friend |
| 2013-05-28 6:46 PM in reply to: tricky_jgc |
Master 2177 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Congratulations! Communication, compromising, and uh... cuddlng.  |
| 2013-05-28 8:44 PM in reply to: Blanda |
Expert 1456 Central New Jersey | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? All good things mentioned here but let's not forget some key things that have gone yet unsaid hold her hand tell her she's beautiful even when she thinks she's not (ie first thing in the morning, in the old oversized Tshirt and shorts before bed) Hug often - pizza not always necessary but a nice perk do fun things together - especially after kids - it's easy to get lost in the day to day "work" of having a job/house/kids - go for a walk and talk love each other |
| 2013-05-28 9:01 PM in reply to: switch |
Champion 7821 Brooklyn, NY | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Happy wife: happy life. |
| 2013-05-28 9:06 PM in reply to: wwlani |
Veteran 622 Roll Tide!! | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? First- Congratulations!! Some great advice in this thread!! Some of my favorites: be loyal- not just faithful but loyal. always choose to see the best in your spouse become a good cook- even if she can cook good herself- it gets old.. a few from me: have fun together dream together and then set goals to make those dreams a reality make your marriage your priority -always marriage & pizza get even better with time- 23 years for us!!
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| 2013-05-28 9:30 PM in reply to: gleser |
Master 2477 Oceanside, California | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by gleser Originally posted by tricky_jgc So, fellow BTers. I got married last Saturday. What do I need to know about marriage? Thanks! Simply - "yes dear" Up the ante with YARD. You're Absolutely Right Dear... But it can never sound sarcastic! |
| 2013-05-28 9:31 PM in reply to: Meljoypip |
| 358 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? If it won't matter in a year, then don't fight about it. Yes, that means you have to do the dishes sometimes. Set a household budget and stick to it. But keep your mad money separate. (And hers too.) That way when she drops $1000 on curtains for the bedroom, or you decide to buy a motorcycle, she can't hold it against you, and vice versa. Stay interesting. 10 years from now she won't want to be married to the guy she's married to today. She'll want the new improved version, and that can only happen by you finding new ways to challenge yourself. Laugh. A lot. At really dumb stuff. A well timed fart can make any argument end. When you do fight (and you will), fight fair. But fight to win. Every wedding you go to, request the song you danced to at your wedding, and drag her on the floor and dance with her. If you do this right, you'll never have to dance at any other time. Occasionally, water gun assaults are necessary. She'll dry out and get over it. You'll have fun. |
| 2013-05-28 10:02 PM in reply to: tricky_jgc |
| 26 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy. Marriage is not 50/50 both of you have to give 100% when she can only give 50% you've got to give 150%. Talk stuff out. Don't go to bed mad work it out. |
| 2013-05-29 12:06 AM in reply to: RussTKD |
Elite 3972 Reno | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Some basics: Never stop saying "please" and "thank you" To each other. For mundane tasks even. Division of labor should not become division from each other. If she "always" does task X, don't take it for granted. Make that be the tone, not bickering about who did what.Sometimes, you can be "right", or you can stay married. Stick with the "best intentions" expectation above. People are human, not perfect. Keep your own interests and friends, striking balance with hers. Don't negate her interests.Keep having fun. "Building a life together " isn't all work, even if home ownership and parenting take place. |
| 2013-05-29 7:29 AM in reply to: bootygirl |
Regular 247 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Laugh, laugh and laugh!!! I think the fact that she makes me laugh as much as I make her laugh helps tremendously. This even pertains to kids. Realize the absurdity, roll with it and find some humor without belittling the situation. Oh and when he/she trips help them up because you will need it at somepoint as well. |
| 2013-05-29 9:23 AM in reply to: 7ofClubs |
| Regular 174 CT | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? A woman chooses a man by his potential and wants him to grow and change. A man chooses a woman and wants her to never change.. Both are somewhat dilusional. However, never stop improving yourself If your biggest mission in life is to please her, you will make her uneasy and resentful. Follow your life mission or she will find someone who does. |
| 2013-05-29 9:48 AM in reply to: GottaSki |
Veteran 376 Medford Lakes, NJ | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? "Sorry, I will do better next time" Happy wife, happy home. KMH, Keep Mommy Happy (for when/if you have kids) |
| 2013-05-29 10:43 AM in reply to: otisbrown |
Member 86 Mexico City, Mexico | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? |
| 2013-05-29 10:53 AM in reply to: GottaSki |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by GottaSki A woman chooses a man by his potential and wants him to grow and change. A man chooses a woman and wants her to never change.. Both are somewhat dilusional. However, never stop improving yourself If your biggest mission in life is to please her, you will make her uneasy and resentful. Follow your life mission or she will find someone who does. This!^^^ Again and again, this. GottaSki has a lot of good advice in both posts in this thread. |
| 2013-05-29 10:59 AM in reply to: switch |
Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by switch Originally posted by GottaSki A woman chooses a man by his potential and wants him to grow and change. A man chooses a woman and wants her to never change.. Both are somewhat dilusional. However, never stop improving yourself If your biggest mission in life is to please her, you will make her uneasy and resentful. Follow your life mission or she will find someone who does. This!^^^ Again and again, this. GottaSki has a lot of good advice in both posts in this thread. But let me emphasis. If you have the right wife. It is also HER mission to please HIM or he could just as easily find someone who does. It's a two way street. It may never be 50/50 at any given time. Sometimes she has to be the rock, sometimes he does. My wife supported me when I was unemployed and dealing with thyroid cancer, and now that I'm healthy and employed again, I take care of the house and support us financially while she goes to LA to work on her acting dream... Give and take. |
| 2013-05-29 11:58 AM in reply to: Kido |
Member 326 | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Take this advice for what it is worth. It is coming from a guy who was married for 18 years, but got divorced. This is the stuff I loved, and miss about being married. Kissing should be not be just as a prelude to sex. Kiss her often, and passionately. Touch/caress her gently. My favorite was when she was in the kitchen and we were preparing a meal or washing dishes together. Come in behind her, wrap your arms around her and just hug her, and never let go. A nibble on the neck or ear lobe was always good for a smile and a laugh. Look into her eyes. Tell her you love her, every day, and mean it. You want her to be the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before you go to sleep. After awhile you will take her for granted. Never do. Being married is the best thing out there. All my married friends say they envy me because I am single, no kids, lots of money, nice cars/toys, travel a ton, tons of time to train for triathlon, I can sleep in and stay up late when ever I want. But, the thing is, I envy them. They want what I have, but after 4 years of being alone, I want what they have. Dwayne |
| 2013-05-29 1:09 PM in reply to: DeVinci13 |
Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by DeVinci13 Take this advice for what it is worth. It is coming from a guy who was married for 18 years, but got divorced. This is the stuff I loved, and miss about being married. Kissing should be not be just as a prelude to sex. Kiss her often, and passionately. Touch/caress her gently. My favorite was when she was in the kitchen and we were preparing a meal or washing dishes together. Come in behind her, wrap your arms around her and just hug her, and never let go. A nibble on the neck or ear lobe was always good for a smile and a laugh. Look into her eyes. Tell her you love her, every day, and mean it. You want her to be the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before you go to sleep. After awhile you will take her for granted. Never do. Being married is the best thing out there. All my married friends say they envy me because I am single, no kids, lots of money, nice cars/toys, travel a ton, tons of time to train for triathlon, I can sleep in and stay up late when ever I want. But, the thing is, I envy them. They want what I have, but after 4 years of being alone, I want what they have. Dwayne Well, if that's what SHE wants. I think it's more important to figure out what makes your spouse happy (via conversation or plane old trial and error) and do THAT! I don't think there is a one size fits all solution. Other than communication and working to make each other happy. |
| 2013-05-29 1:12 PM in reply to: tricky_jgc |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: Got married. What now? Originally posted by tricky_jgc So, fellow BTers. I got married last Saturday. What do I need to know about marriage? Thanks! Try not to get divorced? [/SARC OFF] |
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