Mucho Mental Manatee Mentors--CLOSED (Pop Tarts?) (Page 7)

Thanks, Yanti. I definitely need them!

Okay. Caught up now. But probably not for long.

This has been a really crappy month for me. Not as bad as for some of you. I don't have a broken bone that needs to be re-broken and re-set, for example

I had just started getting back into running, and I was knocked out with some kind of inner ear issue. No infection. But cripes. I spent Thursday and Friday popping motion sickness pills and pouring wax drops in my ear trying to clear out the blockage.

So of course, my body is stressed, so my BP starts rising. I was not going to go back into the doctor (I was seeing the campus nurse about my ear), so I chewed my blood pressure medicine to get more immediate effect. I took one in the morning, as usual, then at about 1:00, chomped one down. My BP was still high, but not ridiculous.

I seriously considered snorting the stupid medicine.

Anyway. We managed to evacuate some of the wax (it literally rolled out of my ear. Gross), but I'm still feeling some pressure and a little pain. It's not infected, however. So who knows.

At least I am back to my more normal snarky self. I'm off the motion sickness medicine. My blood pressure is back to normal. And I can sit here at the computer without feeling that I'm going to lose my cookies.

Love you all. Sorry I've been so out of it.

I think I understand what you are saying ... and find the humor in part of it.

But if you are speaking about keeping quiet about who we are, than I can't disagree more. When my family and church and supposed friends turned their back on me when I came out, the people who were "out" were huge role models for me and played a VERY important role in me coming to terms with who I was. 

It is VERY important for people to be out, and let people know. I'm not saying you need to know "intimate details" and hopefully that is what you were referring to.

Yeah, I'm hoping. But it wasn't super clear. Also, I am feeling a little on edge.

Additionally I notice a popular sentiment of, "I'll tolerate the fact you are gay but I don't see why you need to say anything about it" here on BT and I want to be really clear that is IS important. Maybe even reminding myself.

Salty, I hope you don't mistake my lack of willingness to get into an argument with the less tolerant folks for a lack of caring. I have seen these types of people pushing their agendas through these types of discussions and I feel that no matter what I or others may say, you can't change their minds. So, for me, walking away is the better choice.  I will not give them more opportunity to continue to spread hatred or bile. Please know that I not only tolerate you and your choices, I absolutely support everything about you. No, I love everything about you. You are one of the kindest, most funloving, sweet, caring people I know.  You are 100% honest and open. You are truly an original, and if someone can't accept that, then it is their loss.

I now have to go back to work. If I could hug you right now, please know that I would be doing so. At the expense of your ribs! And I hope this comes across in writing with all the emotion that I am feeling. I need a friggin' tissue now. 

{{{HUGS}}}

I just don't understand some people. That's it. I don't understand people who love you turning their back on you. I am embarrassed about how some churches have responded to the GBLT community. I am sorry you were ostracized.

It's not the same, but a similar thing happens with divorce. I sometimes hesitate to tell some people that I am on my second marriage because some people get very cold and distant. But it's important for me to claim that part of myself, because as you pointed out, others will go through it and they need to know who they can turn to.

I hope this makes sense and that it's not just rambling. 

If you ever wondered, I wish I could hug you as well.

Really, all of you.

I am sorry is I came off as flippant. You have a right to be on edge.

Yep, what they both said, although I generally try to avoid internet and real life drama!   Life is too short to treat each other badly (that comment was NOT directed at any manatees, btw).  Chris, as usual, spoke very wisely and with heart.  The bolded part is sometimes hard to accept, that you cannot convince people that there are good and bad of every creed, color, ethnicity, belief, etc. and to view the world with a more open mind.

Thank you all, for your comments and support. I am just going to reply to you all at once here.

I know we can't "win the internet." Especially by arguing and trying to convince someone they are wrong. But I think what would be really helpful is to applaud and support the good stuff. Encourage the OP to pursue that blog and give honest feedback.

I think this also goes for all topics on BT, and this circles back to the whole complaint about "The decline of BT." Perhaps if we all (myself 100% included)  worked on positive reinforcement rather than winning the argument, we could create a more constructive environment. If you disagree with A, B, C but agree with D, maybe just mention D and find some common ground. And then once you have established a relationship, you can talk about A, B and C in a way that will be received.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do and I am sorry if this comes across as preachy. I'm more just talking "aloud" to myself. Because more than anyone, I could seriously stand to take my own advice here.

I'm not Elesa but I do use a Garmin Swim that has similar firmware to that in the 910XT.  It has a pause that you hit between sets.

For more info about the Garmin Swim:  http://www.dcrainmaker.com/2012/06/garmin-swim-watch-in-depth-revie...

This is what is important in life. Not that you asked, but I figured I'm in for more than 2 cents at this point, so why not?

I managed to miss the drama (and I'm not going to go over and read it now) but I will say that whoever you love, love them.  I fail to understand why some people think that who you love affects them. 

I will add that this sort of thing is why I tend to hang out more in the Manatee thread than in TT or CoJ or elsewhere.  Besides, we talk so much it keeps me plenty busy.

Hugs from me and kisses from Emma for all of you.

Here's an interesting TED talk about "the filter bubble" on the interwebs

http://www.thefilterbubble.com/ted-talk

To me, this bubble magnifies our differences.

This.  I teach at a college.  My coworkers often talk about their husbands, families, when chatting with the students (we have a cohort program, we get to know the students very well).  I never have.  I am open with all my coworkers, Dean, others in the college, but haven't been with the students up to this year, I think due to worrying about a lack of respect or something.  But this year, if I am talking about my partner, I call her by name.  Enough is enough.  Like Adrienne, I had role models.  Now I will be one.

I had a coworker, who is Mormon, ask to speak with me recently.  She has treated me with nothing but respect and love.  I ran a trail race near her home, and she had K and I over for lunch.  She has her beliefs, but as she has said, "it is not up to her to judge me, that is between me and God".  So, on this occasion, she asked me a couple questions about coming out.  Then she told me that her son (one of 5 adult children) came out to the family over Thanksgiving weekend.  She was heartbroken, not because he is gay, but because he has known since he was a teenager (26 now), but has kept it hidden.  As a mother she felt terrible that he has struggled with it for this long.  She wanted to talk to me to find out how to best support him.  And then she thanked me for being open.  She had never personally known anyone gay before me.  And knowing me, she realized that we are all the same and that we simply love who we love. 

There is always going to be someone who hates me for who I am.  They are using up a lot of energy on someone they don't even know.  Energy that they could be using on other things.  Challenge hate for sure.  But don't waste your precious energy trying to change the haters.

This is a good point.  Maybe we should have a Manatees Glossary?  MTBC, how can we make it better?

Thanks for these comments Judi! I really appreciate you looking at it like that.

Also, as far as the original thread goes I believe the transgender perspective is EXTREMELY complex, especially as it fits into sport because there is such a big physical component. I think the OP will need a lot of support as well as an outlet.

It's also a topic that I could stand to learn a little more about. Even having a friend that is making a FtM transition, I have a lot of questions. And one person's experience certainly is not everyone's. 

That is so awesome, Kirsten. And I know, even in a fairly accepting community, that is often a very difficult thing to do.

Thank you so much for sharing.

so, in the immortal words of Rodney King, " can't we all just get along?"