Kids in restaurants

Yours or belonging to someone else?  If they're yours, tie their shoes together.  If they're some other person's kids, ignore it...life is too short to get worked up about trivial stuff.

Oh yeah, and read your sig line.

Someone here on BT has a great signature line: "Unsupervised kids will be given a free puppy and a double-espresso" (or something like it)

I would like to think that I would ignore it.  I'm usually pretty good about not letting that kind of stuff bother me.  But if it's clear that the parents are totally neglecting their kids, I might say something to the manager of the restaurant. 

A story that I tell quite often:

Having dinner at Fresh Choice (a kind of all-you-can-eat salad bar place in town), and there's a 3 year old at a table near by screaming at the top of his lungs and banging his feet on the table as he calls out, "More Mountain Dew!  More Mountain Dew!  More Mountain Dew!"  That was the last time I ever ate there. 

Grab the manager.  You don't confront the parents, that will just cause more stress.  

Depends on the restaurant.  If it is a family place, you picked the wrong restaurant.  If it is a quiet upscale restaurant, ask for a manager.

If it is Chucky Cheese, enjoy your pizza and keep your thoughts to yourself.

You rang?

You must not have kids. 

Seriously, if the kids are really being terrible then I'd suggest talking to the manager instead of straight to the parents. (I would be mortified either way but not all parents are like that.) Also, you could ask to move to another table away from the wild kids.

You have to wonder about parents that would give a kid that young with the natural energy of a three year old caffeine.   Not too long ago we ran into an old friend of the wife's.  She had three kids, from about 3 to 8 years old.  Each with a super-sized cup of soda in hand.  Heck, my four year old bugs me about the soda I drink.   For him a treat is a sip out of mom's decaf iced tea.

My kid is one of the good ones at a restaurant.  The one time he started working towards a meltdown I took him outside before any of the tables near us even noticed what was going on.  A few minutes later he was calmed down and we went back in.  No muss, no fuss.  I can't tell you how many times we've been approached by staff and other people in restaurants to compliment us on our little guy.

x2.... imagine how much longer and more stressful the parents' day was

EXACTLY. This is why the whole bs "you don't have kids so you don't understand" line doesn't really fly with me. No, I don't have kids, but I DO know families who have kids who do not let their kids act out in public places! (I've been out with them in public places to witness such mysteries) So yes, ladies and gentlemen, it can be done! I used to nanny and would take kids out to restaurants and other public places and, so odd, they never acted up with me...and if they did, I removed them from the situation until they were calm. It's one thing if they're cranky and need a nap and they're crying, but it's quite another if they're just running around and yelling and no one is doing anything to stop them.

Move to Germany.....

Haha, I only say that cause when I lived in Germany from '02-'05 I never ran into this because dogs were literally more accepted in restaurants over children.  They don't put up with it.  They also don't rush you off as soon as you appear to be done with your meal--you flag them down when you're ready.  That could take time, occassionally, but was worth it.

Pick a higher-end restaurant?  If you're "relaxing" in the $50-a-plate places, either there won't be any bratty kids running amok, or you'll know that the parents have a lawyer on retainer ready to sue you for harassment. 

I can't say my kids are perfect, but we did try to avoid situations where they were likely to disrupt other patrons. 

Leave them an appointment card for the local child mental health clinic.

Seriously, I'd vote for talking to the manager (again, assuming it is an adult-type restaurant, and not Mickey D's or Chuckie's Rat House, or whatever). It is in the manager's interest to keep the majority of patron's happy. Sure the mom and dad with the bratty kids may be offended, but if they don't know how to control their Lord of the Flies children, it will not get better.

My own kids were always appropriate in restuarants and movie theaters (nothing more than PG until they hit 13 - I was pretty rigid about this).  The older one tended to push limits more, and was often taken for a short trip outside the place of business for a time out by the wall.  I have vivid memories of standing outside the restaruant where I had my medical school graduation dinner, the mall food court, and even the children's museum in New Orleans because she was demonstrating inappropriate or socially unacceptable behaviors and needed to be removed. And if the parents have a kid that is more "special needs" (including ADHD or other disorders), there is still a basic idea of recognizing the rights of others to be left alone and in peace.  If the child cannot be managed in public places, and cannot be trained to do so, don't take them out.

I always tell parents of my patients to have a "bail out plan" - who will remove the kid, where will they go, is the trip overall ended, or does everyone else get to remain. If the kid is motivated to be whereever the place is (like a restaurant or amusement park), they can be positively reinforced to modify the behavior.  And if they do not want to be there, why make everyone suffer (the kid, the parents, the other patrons)?

Ditto.  

Thank you. 

I've been trying to compliment people when they have good kids or are doing a good job.  We were at a rest area in New Jersey near the food court and there was a mom with her three kids - all under 6.  She did a great job of letting them play and eat, but not be annoying to other people.  They didn't run away, they helped clean up.  It was really great to see.

There's a difference between "fun" and "disruptive". I could care less what you do at home with your kids. But as someone who has worked with kids extensively, I see it this way - if it wouldn't be tolerable behavior in a classroom, it's not tolerable behavior in public - ie, shrieking at the top of the lungs for no reason, standing on/jumping off chairs, climbing on furniture and running around, throwing things, not listening when adults discipline. Unacceptable.

Exactly. Part of raising kids is teaching them what is acceptable social behavior and what is not.  I am a big fan of boundaries. Part of this is knowing what your kids are capable of, and what is appropriate from a developmental point of view. There is no reason to believe that it is impossible for an average 8 or 10 year old to behave in a civilized fashion for the duration of a meal (45-60 minutes).  Unless your goal is to intentionally raise feral children.

The main problem with kids in restaurants is that they tend to overcook them, and the sauces are usually a bit runny.