Wife "hates camping". What do I do? (Page 2)

Hot hiking partners might motivate her to show-up.

^^^^  Winner 

Well she went with me. Let me tell you the fight in the car on the way there was not very pleasant, come to think of it she was not too pleasant for most of the trip.

We did go with two other couples so maybe I was being selfish and didn't want to be the one guy that couldn't get his wife to go with him. The other thing was we went to a music festival which was the entire reason for going camping. So we sat in a park in town, drank beer and listened to live music for the majority of the trip. She had fun at the festival and I knew she would which is why I wanted her to go. It was just the sleeping in the tent that she didn't like.

I guess the reason it bugged me is because when her mom mentioned wanting to go camping this summer she was all for it. But when I mention it, it is "hell no"!

Also I understand the accept your differences and go your seperate ways argument but isn't there another way of doing things? I mean I spent six hours in the mall a few weekends ago looking for the perfect shirt for her. I didn't complain, I helped in the search. I would have rather stabbed myself in the eye, but I went because I knew she wanted me to go with her. Isn't that how things are supposed to work? Compromise and sacrifice for each other? Or is camping over the line?

yes, compromising with the spouse is part of a healthy marriage.  And I don't thing wanting your wife to go camping is over the line.  But I think it's pretty common for a married woman not to want to go camping.  My wife and I dated for about 5-years before we married.  We camped every single summer while we dated.  I assummed she enjoyed it.  We have not camped once in our 13-year marraige.  It appears she did not like sleeping in a tent.  So, now when we spend the weekend in the mountains it's a cabin or condo.  Guess that's out compromise.

So how do I make camping more enticing and comfortable for her?

She stays home for a girls'/friends' weekend. You go camping with people who like camping.

There is an important distinction between compromise in marriage and absurdity.

EDIT: I missed the six hours part the first time.  Seriously?  Come on, man.


Edited by Goosedog 2010-08-02 3:36 PM

Yes

First camping, then watching football and then its eating pizza that's when you know you are truly married.

Kevin

Camping in a campground or backpacking?  If its backpacking, you're probably totally out of luck.  Girls don't like "going" in the woods.

Camping in a campground:  I'm still working on it, but the best solutions are either "camping cabins" or a travel trailer/RV.  We still have a tent, and invariably it rains when we go camping.  The tent leaks a little, but I keep at sealing the seams. 

Here's how I try to make it as comfortable as possible:  1) weather - good weather or cancel the trip; 2)  Bathrooms - make sure they are close and clean; 3)  not just camping - make sure there is something else going on for her;

Your wife was interested in camping with her mom - do they do it differently than you? 

Good luck, and rest assured if you ever do figure it out, the rules will change.

Take her to a five star hotel! 

With a spa...

Kido, I like you!

I like camping and all, but I'm getting old and would rather hit the spa, get a massage, and drink frozen drinks on the lazy river at the Monte Carlo or MGM.  Maybe hit up Craftsteak or Mix for din din.

If it's just the "sleeping in a tent" thing... can I ask if you have invested in an air mattress (and re-chargeable air pump)?

When I camped at a race this summer, I was shocked that I was the only one in my group with an air mattress. I can't imagine sleeping in just a sleeping bag on the ground.

Just an idea.

my husband hates camping...wil not even consider it,  so I take my black lab and go...she loves it !

Don't take her?

IMHO, it's nice to share interests, but it's not mandatory for a healthy and happy marriage. My husband doesn't s/b/r, but he doesn't complain about the money I've spent, and he cheers me on at almost every race.

If she supports your hobbies, I'd just do your own thing.

This is what I was going to suggest.

My wife loves camping.  It means she gets a quiet house all to herself while my son and I are gone for the weekend.

so just to be clear, she does something with you that she had already communicated to you that she doesn't really like, and afterwards she again communicates to you that she does not like it.

you do something with her that you don't like, and afterwards you complain about it on the internets.

no, i don't think that's how things are supposed to work.

turn off the computer and go talk with your wife about all this rather than a bunch of strangers.

Don't worry, it gets easier when you have kids.

AHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHHAHahhhHHAHHAHHH- snort-HAHHAHHhahhahhahh.... Oh, I laughed so hard I think a little pee came out.

yea... it can get complicated. That's why mine only lasted 3 years. It takes a lot of time, patience, and understanding [Three things my ex-wife and I didn't have in common]

Hahaha...right...

I am holding off on the kid thing for as long as I can!

I would get a HUGE tent and then just give your wife a bunch of cleaning supplies. I hear women love to clean and maybe camping just makes her feel dirty.

You compromise over basic life necessities, like finances/budgets, division of labor/household chores, child-rearing behaviors, where to go on your weekly date night. Even with the date night, I wouldn't ask my spouse to eat dinner at a place I knew he disliked; I wouldn't enjoy myself knowing he hated the food or restaurant. I would make arrangements to go to that restaurant by myself or with friends, so that I still got to enjoy the restaurant.

Consenting to do things you dislike so that your spouse will stop nagging isn't compromise; that's a "I win-you lose" situation.  That kind of logic suggests that you should agree to take up knitting if that's how she wants you to spend your leisure time. After all, she had to stomach something she disliked, why shouldn't you? See how that kind of compromise leads to no one being happy?

You got what you wanted at her expense.  Did you enjoy the experience?

I had a few drinks with someone who was interested in dating me. Actually, I think he was just interested in having a woman on the back of his motorcyle, something I had zero interest in doing. He threw out the "that's what couples do, compromise for each other" line to which I responded "If I go for a 50 mile motorcycle ride with you, will you go for a 50 mile bicycle ride with me?" He didn't have an interest in cycling and didn't quite grasp the absurdity of asking me to do something that I not only had no interest in doing, but was quite sure I would really dislike doing, all while sputtering that he didn't like cycling. I told him that I would never drag him into the LBS and that he shouldn't try to drag me onto his motorcycle.

Respect your differences. It's really not hard, once you grasp the concept.



Edited by Renee 2010-08-05 7:27 PM

I am not telling my wife about Smores with Reeses.  She would likely stop eating other food due to her love of each one of those individually.