Where have YOU puked?

Many, many places as I was diagnosed with Celiac disease as a baby and the slightest crumb of gluten would have me puking for hours - throughout my entire childhood.

But the best was on a guy's bare chest. 
Not a single word was said, he just walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Sorry dude. 

oh goodness. i am one who cannot hold my liquor, either. i went through a wild stage the first few years of college and drank wayyyyy too much wayyyyy too often. i've puked in flowerbeds, on people's porches, in a pool, on the side of moving cars (which i've had to shamefully wash the next morning). my personal favorite is over the side of my family's wakeboard boat with my parents, aunts/uncles, younger cousins, and friends on board. to make matters worse, it landed a mere inches from the guy i liked at the time who was in the water waiting for us to pull him on the board. 

^^^^ animal cruelty 

poor pooch. LOL

Haha no, but we were in bed.
And right after that (while he was in the shower) I puked again on my bedroom floor. It got all over my hair and everything. When he got out of the shower he took one look at me and turned it back on - for me.

It's the only time in my life I haven't had enough warning to make it to a bathroom. Like I said, I grew up vomiting A LOT, and have always had a 60-90 second warning window. Not that time!

Overindulged on tequila once......I recall barely making it up the stairs to my room, getting on my top bunk (how???  no idea)  rolling over to puke and falling off the bed smacking into a dresser across the room and vomiting all over my floor. 

Had surgery another time and on the way home from the hospital made my (ex) husband pull over so I could puke all over Philadelphia.

I puked on "Fear Factor".  Actually, it was the attraction at Universal Studios.  I had to drink a blended "shot" of tuna, shellfish, curdled milk and bugs.  The shot turned out to be 5 ounces, and my partner failed to drink any of his, so I reached over and threw his down my gullet, too.

It was too much.

But I got a standing ovation, a plastic cup, and a mint.

While doing the deed one ill-gotten night after gorging myself on saki and hibachi, the girl got sick and threw up on the bed... Normally I'm not much of a sympathy puker, but all I could think was that the rice "looked just like maggots," so I vomited right on girl's back and in her hair.

She was so upset she literally ran out of the house (party) stark naked, jumped in her car and drove off, taking nothing but her purse.

I deserve everything I get...

/thread.

Let's see...

There is this thing in my family that we call The Curse of Joe C (named after my grandpa). It involves the dreaded hangover puke. The first time that happened to me, it was in the trashcan in my cubicle at an internship. The night before, my cousin's friends realized I was getting served at the bar - I was 18. So, they kept buying me drinks! I emptied the trashcan, and the only one that noticed was the janitor who asked me where my trash bag went.

TCoJC has led me to my fair share of restaurant bathrooms, a decent amount of pulling over on the side of the road, and my work parking lot at my old job. I've learned my limits to avoid the hangover pukes, and I haven't done it in a while, thank god

My best one while drunk was after I went 10 rounds with Jose Cuervo. I was just fine until about 45 minutes after the last shot. I went into the bathroom and laid down on the floor. I stayed there and apparently had a heart-to-heart with my then bf's roommate's new girlfriend, who happens to be a nurse. She decided after about a hour that I was fine, and moved me to the bedroom. Minutes later, I puked on myself, the bed, and the floor. This is the only thing I remember from that night.  

Moral of the story: When passed out on the bathroom floor, no matter how fine I seem, LEAVE ME THERE. A roommate a few years ago remember that story when he found me on the bathroom floor, and just brought me my pillow and blanket. 

I've been this guys.  not the one she actually puked on, but I've been this guy.  It's an easy clean and otherwise comical story.

otherwise outside of "puke and rallies" I keep things unless I run out of room.

Although once when I was 12 I had a bad Cinnabon at the mall and was HURTING all the way home.  When we got home I stripped down to my underwear (heat flashes) and went straight to bed.  Laid there for about 5 seconds and I felt it coming.  I made a mad dash for the bathroom which was a long two door bathroom with the toilet on the opposite side from the direction I was entering.  I didn't make it.  Projectile from my room into the bathroom onto the tile as I was running at a full sprint for the toilet.  My foot hits the vomit and immediately comes out from under me and it's like a cartoon stepping on a banana peel.  BAM on my but and quickly go to my back.  Keep in mind I'm only wearing whitey tighteys right now.  My momentum takes me sliding past the toilet and out the other door.  I hit the door frame on the way through and slowed to stop and crawled back to the toilet to finish up.  My mom was nice enough to clean up the rest while I was in the shower.  I have never eaten at Cinnabon again since that day.

Last year my friend got married in Riveria Maya, Mexico. My husband and I flew down for her wedding, and then the next day was my husband’s bday. On his birthday, we decided to take a day trip to Chichen Itza. I woke up that day feeling “off” but not necessarily sick.

We get on the bus and it’s a 90 minute drive to alunch/souvenir place. The bus is totally packed. I’m feeling sicker and sicker and I knew I was going to puke. I grab the only thing available to me – my purse – and threw up in that. I drank some of the water we had, but I still kept getting sick. I threw up 4x in my purse on the way to the lunch place. I’m really feeling sick to my stomach at this point. We get to the lunch place and I clean up as best as I can and toss my purse in the trash (after grabbing my wallet and stuff). They souvenir place actually sold pepto so we bought some (I made sure to grab extra plastic bags) and then we just walked around and I had a bite or two of white rice. 

We get back in the bus for the hour drive to Chichen Itza and I throw up again! We get to Chichen Itza and I’m actually feeling OK-ish. Kind of weak, but not so sick that I couldn’t explore the grounds. Our tour kept us there for about 4 hours and I was OK for maybe 2.5 hours, but then felt sick to
my stomach again. I’m wondering how I actually still have anything in my stomach! We got back on the bus for the way home, and I’m not feeling good. But this time, the kid behind me on the bus hrows up all over the floor and then that sets me off so I’m puking in the plastic bags again and then the kid behind us pukes all over his seat and ours and then I puke again! It was like that scene in Stand By Me where everyone is just puking left and right, we couldn’t stop. I felt so bad for Tim bc his bday was just a neverending, smelly, pukey bus ride.

My most recent bout of public puking was at a gas station right after a hot nasty HIM. Heat exhaustion and HEED apparently are not a good combo. Apparently the trash can I was yacking in was right next to the restaurant portion of the truck stop, much to my wife's dismay I garnered a lot of attention.

But the worst was in high school. Girlfriend and I go to the state fair. She is a big spinny ride fan, me not so much. This was back when code red mountain dew was around and I had just drank 20oz of it. She convinces me to get on the Zipper. The whole time it is spinning and twisting and doing it's terrible dance, I know I am going to puke but am holding it back as best I can. It finally stops and I hadn't puked yet!

Then it started the whole thing again but backwards... I had used all the will power I had on the first round so every drop of Mt. Dew I had drank was coming up all over my white shirt. I get out and the carny yells "We got a puker!" We head to the bathroom so I can get cleaned up. Apparently wet brown paper towels on a white shirt are not a great idea. Now I look like I shat hot tamales all over my shirt. 

That was the last spinny ride I have ever taken.