Women who have Sisters

I have a sister who is 2.5 years older than me.
I would say we were very typical siblings - we got along well enough and had the occasional tiff, but were not inseparable. She moved out of state when she was 18 and I remember being really sad about that.  

As an adult, though, I've come to realize what an amazing person she is. Life has thrown her family some serious wrenches and she/they've handled it like you wouldn't believe. I'd say we've gotten MUCH closer as adults, in the past 7 or 8 years. In fact we just ran a marathon together a few weeks ago (her first), and the city they live in is Top 3 on my re-location list, pretty much solely so I would be living close to them. 

Life is funny.

EDIT: I would say my sister is one of my best friends today, and if I ever get married she will be my only bridesmaid. It's weird for me to classify and rank friends, but she is definitely up there if not in the #1 spot. Like I said, this is the case as an adult, but not necessarily as children growing up.

I'm going to totally derail this thread possibly, but while we're at it, how about all the facebook posts I've seen in the last month (wedding anniversary season apparently for people married in the last 10 years) - about how they married their best friend. 

My wife is my rock, my other half, my reason for being. But my best friend? That's a tall skinny dude I go to phish shows with. She is a friend as well as a spouse, but this whole "best friend" thing seems a little too forced these days. 

I am the father of three, very close daughters.  Oldest to youngest is five years.  The three daughters confide in each other, enjoy each other, and visit each other on lots of occasions even when parents are not around.  I credit my wife with fostering a wholesome environment and not tolerating any teasing or bickering.  The daughters are all adults and live far apart -- east coast, west coast and southern hemisphere.  We get together for holidays every year.  We vacationed together as a family last Christmas.  By all accounts, it was the best vacation ever. 

I think for us it is a family culture.  We are not the Cleavers but, in all family directions, the daughters see parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins who know how to get along as a family even when things get messy. There is even a family business involved. It is possible and it is worthwhile to be close to your family, at least for us.

My (only) sister and I (we have 2 brothers) were not overly close in younger childhood, I presume because I stole the attention away from her being the 'baby' (she's 6 years older than me).  We were civil most of the time, but she definitely took advantage of her older and bigger status and picked on me a fair bit, but then again, I was always getting into her stuff, etc.  Yet she would stick up for me if I was threatened. 

Age difference matters a lot as kids because of the maturity gap, not as much when we're older.  This held true for us.  Around when I hit 12 or so, she started to 'actually like' me (our little joke, yet it's mostly true).  As I continued to age, we continued to get closer and now we do many things together, including travel/vacation.  I do consider her one of my best friends and would be completely devastated if I lost her.  We're tight.  We're allies.  We're confidants.  We help each other.  I love my sister!

I have an identical twin sister.  We live hundreds of miles apart (and have for over a decade) but we are best friends.  I am very anti-Hallmark-style sappiness (as is she) but I really couldn't adequately describe how important she is in my life.  I guess I could say that we "get" each other in a way no one else does, including our husbands, friends, mom, etc.

That said, I have a lot of other family members, including step-siblings I grew up with, etc. with whom I am not especially close.  We get along fine, see each other on holidays and some other occasions, and they are great people, but for whatever reason, it just isn't the same as with my sister.  As for what's normal, I think that would be a pretty wide spectrum.  While my relationship with my sister probably isn't the exception, I doubt it's the rule.

I can only go by what my wife says so...

I'm better friends with her sister than she is!  4 years difference (my wife is the youngest), not even close to friends growing up, better friends as adults.  BUT, over the last 8-9 years the closest we've lived to each other was when we were in northern California, and they were in 29 Palms.  Today, we're just about as physically far apart as we could be and both still be in the US (5050 miles from Mass to Hawaii, Miami to the end of the Aleutian islands is only 4600), and they are as close of friends as ever.

my sister is about a year and a half younger than me and we are totally best friends.  we were very close growing up (until she was in the same HS as me, we were jerks for that 2 years) and ever since then we've stayed close.  we don't talk a ton, but we always talk about the important things, even though lately most of those conversations revolve around our mother's health.  she is the first to know about anything important going on in my life...even before my husband sometimes.

we are NOT one of those super close families, even though the majority of our extended family all lives where we grew up, but she and i just happen to be super close.  our parents divorced when i was 4 and her 2, so we really leaned on each other A LOT growing up, and i feel like this is the main reason for our close relationship.

Interesting... my parents divorced when my sister and I were 5, and I think it has been a big factor in our relationship as well.

I am the youngest of three girls and I feel the same way - I like them fine and we have fun at family gatherings, but I wouldn't call them my "friends" even.  We very rarely do anything together alone. In fact, it was kind of awkward on the very rare occasions we do. No animosity, but I just feel like we are different enough we would have not been friends other than the family connection.   The only things we talk about when together is about how our mom did something annoying and we compare notes.  Otherwise our gatherings are mainly around the kids (their kids, I am just the Auntie).

I have partly attributed that to our age differences.  My oldest sister is 7 years old, my middle sister is 4 years older than me.  We never went to the same schools on than when I was in first grade. 

My sister and I are twins born four years apart, by anyone's account. It was a rather ... anomalous childhood so really, even until now in a family that, I kid you not, is too insane for TV (Sopranos = sitcom) she and I had to be a united front and totally pull one for the other to survive.

She is my primary loyalty in this world, and I hers. Above all other family members, spouses, etc.

When we get together, folks, even ones who know us best and have for a lifetime (e.g., my brother) are creeped out by how alike we are, and we even say a lot of things in unison with the exact same intonation. She and I are mistaken for each other all the time by people who are acquaintances, or haven't seen us in a long time.

This is far beyond a best-friend thing. We are two sides of the same coin. There is nothing she would ask me to do that I wouldn't, and nothing she would do that I wouldn't defend her for, and vice versa. It's a strange relationship and hard to explain, although some identical twins understand.

That said, she's a lot weirder and a lot nicer than I am (yes, we agree on those counts).

I'm child #1 of 3. #2 is my sister. I have much the same experience as you in sisterhood. I'm not particularly close with my sister, but would invite her over for dinner or whatever because we get along great, but I'm closer with some of my friends. I am closer to my sister than brother I guess, but I suspect it it because we are closer in age. My sister is 3 years younger than me, my brother is 5.5 years younger.

My SO is close to his sister, his only sibling. He wasn't when he was growing up, just the usual childhood stuff, but now they are good friends. In fact, I am closer to his sister than my sister.

Reading Lisa's post made me remember that my sister was my only bridesmaid. I only wanted one person to stand up for me and I've know my sister almost my entire life. 

while I can't speak from personal experience being a guy I know that my wife and her sisters are all very close. both are older than her by, I think 5 and 7 years respectively. They were all out of the house as she was growing up in HS etc but they stayed close. Now we live within an hour of both of them and she talks to them a few times a week and texts and facebooks with them multiple times a week as well. The families see each other every few weeks and we have even run races with both sisters.

Part of it might by that both of her sisters have kids now so she gets to go up and see them and babysit and be the "Favorite Aunt"

I've got 2 older sisters born 15 months apart.  You would need a DNA test to actually know they were sisters, both a so different in personality, looks, everything, extreme polar opposites on so many things.

My parents are getting on, and I fully expect that when they go the only communication between my sisters will be through me.

I agree with this. We get together with aunts, uncles and cousins on my Moms side of the family every Christmas. Actually this is the first year we are NOT going to get together. It has always been something to look forward to, catch up, see how the kids have grown and remember when we were the kids. Now I'm getting all emotional that we are not going to get together!

I am the oldest of three girls - we are each three years apart.  My middle sister was always in my business and we got along but i often bristled and fought to get a lot of my own space.  My youngest sister is 6 years younger so when we were kids i didn't have a lot of time for her.  We all still got on pretty well i think - normal fighting but lots wonderful times too.  I am sure the screechy decibel level in the house was unbearable - whether we were screaming at each other or singing our guts out while doing the dishes each night.  

Today, I would do anything for those girls - and my poor husband - really he has no say when it comes to things for them.  They are some of the only people to who we don't sugar coat our thoughts, feelings, etc.  I still try to keep my boundaries with the middle one - she just loves to know everything! And my sisters joke that when big life event type things come up they want to talk to me first rather that our parents.  It's cute and i am flattered. 

It is interesting because my mom has 3 sisters and she is one of the youngest.  She and her sisters are pretty close - it's a rare day when she doesn't hear from at least two of them.  I think seeing and having her strong bond with her sisters helped us too.  

It depends on which sister you are talking about. I am the middle of 3 girls..Im much closer to the oldest who is just short of 3 yrs older and not very with the younger who is 2 years younger. My older sister never really fought with either of us growing up. While my younger sister and I did quite often. (coniving little tattletail). My younger sister is not real close to either of us. Personally I think it is her personality. She is very much like me in stature and we have a lot in common as far as things we like to do...BUT she is overly sensitive about EVERYTHING and I am the complete opposite roll with the punches kind of thing.

As adults we all tolerate each other fine and have fun at family gatherings but my older sister and I socialize outside of family gatherings whereas my younger sister choses not too.

WE are NOT a hallmark mushy kind of family and my best friends that I share everything with are not family members.

My sister is about 18 months older than me.  Growing up, our relationship was very similar to what you described with your sister...no fighting, we just did our own thing, had our own interests and friends.  We weren't involved in each others lives at all and we really didn't care to be.

We now live about 5 minutes apart.  She's a blast to hang out with and I love her husband and kids to death.  She's even going to watch my son after he is born and I go back to work (she is a stay at home mom). 

We're much closer now than we ever were growing up.  But I know that she has other girlfriends that she is closer to and has way more fun with when they get together.  It is what it is.  I love her and she loves me, but I know I'm not her "best friend" by any stretch. 

Who knows...maybe it'll be different in another 30 years.  : )

I used to have a supposition about this that that was a big factor as well in strong sibling relationships -- all anecdotal of course.  My brother's kids are super close and now years later when the secrets are revealed and they're divorced I can see why my niece and nephew have that "united front" and are each others' allies.