Spouse Support - Good or Bad (Page 4)

But people are starving in this world and that would be a waste.  Sell it for profit to those who don’t care about more WAIST in the world.

This is a great thread.

My wife is very supportive of my triathlon hobby.  She comes to most of my races, cheers, takes pictures, etc.  She doesn't attend some of the smaller, local races and that's OK with me.  But, the bigger races she does attend.  When I was training for IMFL she never complained about any of the long training weekends.  This was so important to me that I commented on her support in my IMFL race report. 

So, why is she so supportive?  I think there are many reasons.  First, I've been cycling since before we were married and once married I just continued with my cycling.  I think she understands how happy cycling and now swimming and running make me.  Second, the health reasons.  She understands that I do the tri lifestyle to stay fit.  Alternatively, I could just sit on the couch, drink beer and watch TV.  That she wouldn't like.  Third, she's also a fitness nut, but in her own way; doing yoga, aerobics, a gym rat. 

It takes two to make a realtionship work.  For my part, I always check with her about race dates and her schedule.  We schedule the big races together and pick a 'destination tri'.  This year we're going to IMAZ mainly because she has a good friend in Scotsdale, AZ that she'll visit while we attend IMAZ.  Another race we want to go to is St Croix 70.3. 

An interesting thing has happened.  Some of my tri mogo has rubbed off on her.  She has started running.  I never thought I'd see my wife running in an organized running event.  We ran the White Rock half marathon together last year and this year also.  We try to plan one running race a month together during the running season.

TJ

My husband is supportive of me in so many ways.

Life is complicated and he comes to races when he can but often kids have stuff to do so he helps with that. Last June for Mooseman I stayed up in NH with BT friends and he drove up morning of the race leaving at 3:15am to watch me race, take pictures, cheer, then he drove home and I spent the rest of the weekend with my BT friends and volunteering at the HIM the next day.

When I was pretty sure I wanted to sign up for IMLP in July he found a hotel that week, took time off work and went to watch with the 3 youngest kids. It was tough, but eye opening for July. I got my voucher and let him make the final decision if I should sign up or not.

He wants to pick tris for me to do so we can travel to fun places for weekends. Sadly 2 kids started college and I am still unemployed so that program is a bit stalled but he has a list...a sprint in NM where he went to college is top on his list. I'm game

He asks almost every day what my training is, how my BT friend are, how my training went and how I'm feeling. He does most of the cooking (& laundry too) and asks what I want after my long training days and what time I want to eat. Often he makes me healthy stuff none of the kids want so he is cooking 2 separate meals for 7. He likes to be called Gus the short order cook

At times training does get in the way and it can be annoying with lots going on with 5 kids.

When I'm cranky or grumpy he very much encourages me to go train and rest weeks or off season is tough on him. I'm such a different and happier person since I started tri training I think he would do anything practically for me to be the happy and thinner Kathy.

I think I'm super lucky. He wants to do a relay with me some day maybe this summer. For our 20th Anniversary he let me pick what type of trip we would go on...me bike trip to Greece on a boat going from island to island. He had a great time but biking was a bit challenging. Now eah winter he mentions if he gets a nice bonus he wants to do it again to different islands.

My husband is amazingly supportive. He's been to all my races but two (and since he was in Iraq at the time, I guess he gets a pass on that one :-p). I decided to do a HIM while he was deployed to Iraq in 2006, so that I would have something to keep myself busy while he was gone, and he listened to me talk about training (albiet, I'm not sure he had any idea what I was talking about at the time) and was supportive of me going for my goal. When he got home, he sat out in the hot Oklahoma sun with my parents (whom he'd only met twice before) for 7+ hours waiting for me to finish. After that, he decided he wanted to do tris to and this year we raced and trained together which was AWESOME. He volunteered at my HIM this past year, and was a huge inspiration for me when I got to the run course and didn't want to keep going. Knowing he was there waiting for me to show up again was one of the main reasons I finished that day. And when I told him I wanted to sign up for IMAZ, he was on board, even knowing how much training time it requires, and money to get from VA to AZ, not to mention the race fees. He's been amazingly supportive in my IM quest, and even bought me a brand new Orbea Ordu (yay!). He's even volunteered to stay home and wait for the cable guy for 4 hours this weekend so I can get my 6 hour brick in on Saturday :-)

Because he's just as addicted as I am now (both to tris and to BT), he totally understands the whole deal: the gear, the time, the training. And even though he hasn't been able to train much with me lately (he's getting ready to deploy again), he's always there cheering me on, letting me vent about my training or talk through whatever frustration it is that I'm struggling with at the moment.

I couldn't ask for anyone more supportive or understanding. He's my biggest cheerleader and the one who believes in me, even when I don't. And after reading some of the posts here I am so grateful for him and wish everyone could have someone like him (it really makes life so much easier). So now I have to go give him a big hug :-)

captantony - 2008-01-03 8:55 AM I met my completely wonderful GF through BT.  Nuff said.

Heh. I saw your recent vacation photos. I wondered what the story behind you two was...

I also met my man thru BT. We train together (when HR zones permit)... we race together... we recover together... and we support each other...

It's great to be "understood".

Not much support here - I try to schedule most of my training so it doesn't impact the family, but he still finds ways to complain -- especially on two-adays (when I run in the early am when everybody's sleeping and swim after work - still home in time to help with bedtimes). We have 3 kids and I work 30 hours/week.

 He's come to one race in 2004.  My 10 year old son has become my main jock-strapper.

Financially we're pretty shakey, so the only things I buy are running shoes when necessary.  I'm riding a bottom of the line Specialized road bike.

Part of me thinks its because he's unhappy and doesn't like it when I do something that makes ME happy.  Last year I've slacked off on training to keep the peace. He likes to bike so this year I'll make a concerted effort to bike together.

I am totally amazed at the number of posts that receive little to no support or encouragement!

I would think that the ratio of support/no support would be more like 80/20 but it seems to be 50/50 which I find unbelievable!!! I think there are different relationship dynamics between those that are married and those that are not...

... but as one of the posts mentioned, if you're married your spouse's #1 concern should be that you are doing something that makes you happy! I would think that each person's degree of happiness has a direct impact on the health of the relationship...

I would say my wife supports me probably 70% and NEVER says anything negative about my training... it sounds like most of the SO's that discourage our hobbies seem to be coming from a selfish motivation...

Shouldn't you know your spouse well enough before you get married that they would supprot you in anything you choose to do as long as it's not illegal and doesn't "hurt" anybody...

...just can't believe the number of people making negative posts and not doing anything about, some people even project an air of "being stuck" in their situation...

I guess I'm just curious as to what everybody thinks fuels these selfish feelings... 

Definitley not personally attacking anybody in particular...

Note to self: marry a triathlete.

Maybe you're just trying to be funny, but that's not the key...and the wrong takeaway.

I'm so lucky!  Before this tri-thing got going, I did lots of horse shows.  My DH was a *super* horse show groom.  He would get up at the buttcrack of dawn to wash that not-so-white horse of mine.  He went to nearly every horse show with me for many years.  Then the horse retired and I got into tris.  He has come to every race with me, helped me set up my stuff, taken pics and cheered me on.  He's also a great training partner.  He's a fast swimmer, strong on the bike and recently started running.  And he's going to do his first tri in June!  We don't have kids (only horses) and training is our "together" time.  It's wonderful to have someone who gets it.