Embarrassing Moments While Exercising...

I was on the treadmill and I had serious gas issues. Well After trying to hold it in forever...it slipped. Ooops.

Embarrassing moments at the pool.  I was doing a run and then went to the pool for a swim.  I had put bandaids across my nipples to stop abrasion from my cotton shirt and forgot they were there when I got to the pool and took my shirt off.  I was walking around the pool talking to some girls and trying to act cool....with bandaids across my nipples.

Embarrassing moments on the run.  I had a issue with gas at IMKY on the run.  Prolly from all the dang powerbars and gels.  It was a very audible issue.  And when the course is lined with spectators and runners, it's hard to find any solitude to lower the internal system pressure.  And you know what it sounds like when your running!  So I told myself, "Well, that's ok....I'm just an anomomous runner among 2000 other runners."  But then I had to laugh thinking "Oh yeah, 6'3" 250 lbs guy in a damn florescent yellow shirt running along farting with every step....yeah, I blend!"  I'm sure on my second loop people were like "Hey look, here comes the glow-in-the-dark-fart machine!"

~Mike

Heh, where do I start?

Riding on rollers with my college team, slipping off the side and causing a 5 bike pileup in the training room.

Trying to surreptitiously peek at the very low cut top on the well built young lady next to me on a treadmill, and stepping on the side intead of the belt at 9.5mph.

Riding my bike into the back of a parked truck looking at some young ladies.

Running into a leash and falling into a large spiky bush when running and turning to look at some very nice pace booty (Are we sensing a theme here? :D)

Swimming an entire race with my speedos around one ankle because I forgot to tie them before doing my leg in the relay.

John

I posted this a while back, but it is relevant here, and still embarrassing...

The following story was written in my training log on Monday.  The events described occurred on Saturday, and unfortunately, are all true.  A few of my blog visitors thought that the CoJ crowd might enjoy laughing at/with me...

So, the training aspect of the Vegas trip was eventful.  I went for a run on Saturday morning that was going to be a little over eight miles along the strip and back to the hotel.  I've run the strip before and couldn't wait, as it is a fun run.  I left at around 6:30am, which is a great time of day to be out.  Since it's Vegas at dawn, you tend to see all sorts of strange stuff at that time of the morning.  Little did I know that I was about to be a part of the bizzarre parade, and probably end up in the stories of many others when they descibed the weird things they saw on their trip.  With about a mile left in the run, my chest started stinging a little bit as if I was chafing.  No big deal, I thought, I'm almost done.  When I got back to the hotel, I prepared for the walk of shame through the casino.  I'm always a little self conscious returning to the hotel after a training run, since you have to go all the way through the casino to get to the elevators.  It was even a little worse than usual this time, since we were staying at Hard Rock, and they have become even more of a hangout for the young and pretty since last time we stayed.  As I'm meandering back to the elevators, dripping in sweat, I tried to avoid the stares of the people in the casino, with their tight skin and judgment.  The he!! with them, I thought, I just ran 8 1/2 miles while you were sitting in here drinking and gambling. 

I returned to the room and wandered into the bathroom.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was HORRIFIED - there were two half-dollar sized blood stains on my shirt (a bright yellow shirt, by the way - trying to be as visible as possible) over my nipples.  Yep - the telltale sign of a long unlubricated run gone bad.  Geez - how long had they been there?  No wonder people were looking at me a little funny.  I just thought that people were a little unfriendly, not having any idea that they were looking at me like a crazy person and shielding their and their childrens' eyes from a sight that would haunt them for years to come.  I had been oblivious to my condition.  Before I knew it, my caring wife had ordered Neosporin from room service (who knew they even offered that?) to help them heal.  She said that the entire hotel staff is probably referring to me as 'bloody nipple guy'.  We thought that would be the end of the embarrassment - however...

 Now that I have suffered the 'injury', I was using the Neosporin to try to heal up as quickly as possible.  They are feeling a little better now - thanks for asking...  We got dressed to go get lunch at Red Rock casino.  When we arrived at the Red Rock, we saw that the Neosporin had soaked through my shirt and now I had two greasy spots over my nipples - I just can't win.  I had managed to bring the embarrassment to a second hotel, and my wife was fortunate enough to be included this time.  I told her that if anyone asked, I would just tell them that I am lactating (I had a better sense of humor about the situation than she did - of course, I have also begun to wear spandex in public so maybe I am not the best person to ask).  I (we) suffered through lunch knowing that the world could see the bizzarre markings on my clothes.  After lunch, we decided enough was enough.  I went to the hotel's store and bought a new shirt to wear while we were there.  That did the trick - no more stains.

Just to put the icing on the cake, we went to the pool on Saturday afternoon.  Some people hear pool and think relaxing, partying, drinking, hooking up, showing off your breast augmentations, acting like a jacka$$ - at least that is the impression I got from everyone else that was there.  As a triathlete, I hear pool and think training opportunity.  When we were there last July, I took my goggles (at least it wasn't my wetsuit) and swam the length of the pool numerous times to get some yardage in.  My wife was quite embarrased by that behavior since it is more of a hangout, see and be seen pool, and I had thrown that to the wind by training instead.  This time, I assured her, I didn't bring my goggles, so no training.  However, when I got there, I just couldn't help myself.  I had to do some balance drills and work on flip turns if I couldn't swim.  My wife was mildly embarrased, but not as bad as if I had worn the goggles.  After the way the day had started, me flipping around in the pool didn't even phase her.  Maybe to the others there, I just looked like I was an old guy (yes - at this pool, 37 would be considered 'old') splashing around.  I suppose that is bad enough without anyone knowing I was doing some drill work.  

So, once again, training causes me and my supportive spouse embarrassment on a Vegas trip in a trendy (and unfortunately getting trendier) hotel.    That evening, she said: 'If you are just looking to draw attention to yourself in the most embarrassing way possible, what are you going to do for an encore?  Why don't you just take a dump in the middle of the casino floor and be done with it'.  I guess that pretty well sums it up.  Never a dull trip when we hit the road! 

Have I passed the point of shame? I know i've done embarrassing things I just can't remember what they are - so maybe i just don't care ... weird.

nobody else has farted while in yoga? peace, serenity and ffrrRRRRRT

more proud than embarrassed though, made everyone laugh, even the instructor couldn't hold back

Not sure I was embarrased, just something odd that happened.

Swimming laps and a girl is joining to share my lane. She is starting from the deep end. Strange, but OK.
As I approach the deep end, I notice she dropped something and it sank to the bottom. I will be nice and pick it up for her since I am right there! I dive down and pick up a freaking WEIGHT, and set it on the side of the pool for her. I am so nice.

She says "oh... I did that on purpose. It's part of my physical therapy to retrieve weights."

Oh, ummm ok. Carry on.