Why would a girl...
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2013-10-02 7:27 AM |
Expert 1028 Detroit, MI. Kinda. | Subject: Why would a girl... repeatedly state from onset of dating that she doesn't think marriage is necessary... Now 7 months later she'd had a few drinks and told me that she was giving it 6 months and she was going to change her last name to her Dad's, and if she did that she would never change it again. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said "Just so you know." I'm not sure if this post was a question about what she wants or a quick rant on chicks not just saying what they want. |
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2013-10-02 7:28 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Champion 14571 the alamo city, Texas | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by Zero2Athlete repeatedly state from onset of dating that she doesn't think marriage is necessary... Now 7 months later she'd had a few drinks and told me that she was giving it 6 months and she was going to change her last name to her Dad's, and if she did that she would never change it again. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said "Just so you know." I'm not sure if this post was a question about what she wants or a quick rant on chicks not just saying what they want. b*tches be crazy.
let me guess...she's....23? |
2013-10-02 7:32 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Champion 16151 Checkin' out the podium girls | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Read the title of your thread. That explains everything. |
2013-10-02 7:33 AM in reply to: mehaner |
Master 2725 Washington, DC Metro | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by mehaner Originally posted by Zero2Athlete repeatedly state from onset of dating that she doesn't think marriage is necessary... Now 7 months later she'd had a few drinks and told me that she was giving it 6 months and she was going to change her last name to her Dad's, and if she did that she would never change it again. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said "Just so you know." I'm not sure if this post was a question about what she wants or a quick rant on chicks not just saying what they want. b*tches be crazy.
ding, ding, ding, ding. |
2013-10-02 7:38 AM in reply to: mehaner |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by mehaner Originally posted by Zero2Athlete repeatedly state from onset of dating that she doesn't think marriage is necessary... Now 7 months later she'd had a few drinks and told me that she was giving it 6 months and she was going to change her last name to her Dad's, and if she did that she would never change it again. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said "Just so you know." I'm not sure if this post was a question about what she wants or a quick rant on chicks not just saying what they want. b*tches be crazy.
let me guess...she's....23? Bwahahahaha. And Z2A, you're never gonna call her again. Because there's no point. Next!
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2013-10-02 7:57 AM in reply to: mehaner |
Expert 3145 Scottsdale, AZ | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by mehaner Originally posted by Zero2Athlete repeatedly state from onset of dating that she doesn't think marriage is necessary... Now 7 months later she'd had a few drinks and told me that she was giving it 6 months and she was going to change her last name to her Dad's, and if she did that she would never change it again. Then she looked me right in the eyes and said "Just so you know." I'm not sure if this post was a question about what she wants or a quick rant on chicks not just saying what they want. b*tches be crazy.
let me guess...she's....23?
winner winner chicken dinner |
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2013-10-02 8:03 AM in reply to: thebigb |
Pro 4313 McKinney, TX | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... This is when you use the Barney Stinson Crazy-Hot Scale.... You have to balance the craziness and the hotness. Vertical Axis is Hot. Horizontal Axis is Crazy As long as she's above the diagonal line, you're okay as this means they're more hot than crazy. It's science. |
2013-10-02 8:47 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Veteran 221 | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Check please. |
2013-10-02 9:37 AM in reply to: Frank in St. Louis |
Champion 6993 Chicago, Illinois | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. |
2013-10-02 9:39 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Champion 18680 Lost in the Luminiferous Aether | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Male, female, it doesn't matter. We all have our own brand of crazy! |
2013-10-02 9:44 AM in reply to: chirunner134 |
Extreme Veteran 2261 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. |
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2013-10-02 9:45 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Champion 18680 Lost in the Luminiferous Aether | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by msteiner Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. |
2013-10-02 9:49 AM in reply to: trinnas |
Extreme Veteran 2261 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. May I ask what was you're reason for deciding to keep yours? I'm curious, since I live in a region where girls can't wait to change their last name, status, etc. on facebook when they get married. |
2013-10-02 9:51 AM in reply to: 0 |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by msteiner Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I grew up in a family with different last names. I didn't like it as a kid. 70s and 80s midwest families had a hard time understanding what was going on. When I married my husband, I knew I wanted us to have the same last name, though, to his credit, he offered to take mine. In the community I live in now, it's very common for the parents to have different last names and the kids to take one or the other or some hyphenated (or other amalgam of the two) version. ETA: There are two primary reasons women tend to keep their names here--professional (PhDs and MDs like to retain their maiden names for publishing reasons) and personal/political/feminist reasons. Edited by switch 2013-10-02 9:53 AM |
2013-10-02 9:53 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Champion 18680 Lost in the Luminiferous Aether | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by msteiner Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. May I ask what was you're reason for deciding to keep yours? I'm curious, since I live in a region where girls can't wait to change their last name, status, etc. on facebook when they get married. Well I was never one of those girls in the first place. I didn't get married till my mid 30's and by that time I was established with my last name and I saw no reason to change it. |
2013-10-02 9:58 AM in reply to: trinnas |
Extreme Veteran 2261 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner Well I was never one of those girls in the first place. I didn't get married till my mid 30's and by that time I was established with my last name and I saw no reason to change it. Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. May I ask what was you're reason for deciding to keep yours? I'm curious, since I live in a region where girls can't wait to change their last name, status, etc. on facebook when they get married. That's the main reason for her wanting keep hers. She's in the medical field and has journals published, so she doesn't want to feel like she has to start over again. I understand and respect that. I'll admit that my pause comes from feeling like it defies a tradition that only exists for the sake of the tradition today. Part of me growing, I suppose. |
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2013-10-02 10:02 AM in reply to: bradleyd3 |
Expert 1028 Detroit, MI. Kinda. | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by mehaner b*tches be crazy.
let me guess...she's....23? Hah...in her 30's. I'm done dating 23 year olds...my 16&19 yo kids had a problem with the last one being so close to their age. Originally posted by bradleyd3 This is when you use the Barney Stinson Crazy-Hot Scale.... You have to balance the craziness and the hotness. Vertical Axis is Hot. Horizontal Axis is Crazy As long as she's above the diagonal line, you're okay as this means they're more hot than crazy. It's science. Finally some rational advice. She fares pretty well there... Tops the chart on hotness. (I've put up with way crazier for way less hotness!) Add coolness..athleticism, intelligence. Plus she's one of my crossfit coaches and I'd have to find a new gym if things don't work out. I dunno. I think if we make it the next 6 months I'll know. |
2013-10-02 10:09 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Expert 1028 Detroit, MI. Kinda. | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by msteiner Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. May I ask what was you're reason for deciding to keep yours? I'm curious, since I live in a region where girls can't wait to change their last name, status, etc. on facebook when they get married. I'd be curious to hear some reasons too...It would bother me. The name change isn't about ownership, but not changing it does feel like she's holding something back. |
2013-10-02 10:11 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Expert 1028 Detroit, MI. Kinda. | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by msteiner Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner Well I was never one of those girls in the first place. I didn't get married till my mid 30's and by that time I was established with my last name and I saw no reason to change it. Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by msteiner I kept my last name, my husband never had a problem with it. Originally posted by chirunner134 Now you guys are making me second guess mine. When been together for about 2.5 years now. living together for 1. Figures someday when we are old and for legal reason it would make sense but until then there is no point. If we have kids she might change her mind but her turning 40 that might not happen. She talked about changing her last name to mine. Just not having any legal responsibility to me. What does everyone think about a woman who wants to marry you, but she also wants to keep her last name? Apparently it's not unheard of (here in the South it's not common at all), but I'm not sure how I feel about it. May I ask what was you're reason for deciding to keep yours? I'm curious, since I live in a region where girls can't wait to change their last name, status, etc. on facebook when they get married. That's the main reason for her wanting keep hers. She's in the medical field and has journals published, so she doesn't want to feel like she has to start over again. I understand and respect that. I'll admit that my pause comes from feeling like it defies a tradition that only exists for the sake of the tradition today. Part of me growing, I suppose. Ahh.. That is a compelling and acceptable reason. |
2013-10-02 10:12 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Expert 3126 Boise, ID | Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
And it starts... It only gets worse from here, you have begun your journey down the road to leads to marriage or breakup, at least she was thoughtful enough to give you a specific timeline. And as to why a girl would say one thing at the beginning and then another later... If you choose the marriage route you better get used to that! |
2013-10-02 10:21 AM in reply to: Zero2Athlete |
Veteran 221 | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Just to clarify - I have no issues with a married woman keeping her last name (my wife kept hers...). It's the way the OP's conversation went that seems a bit bizarre. |
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2013-10-02 10:22 AM in reply to: Aarondb4 |
Champion 18680 Lost in the Luminiferous Aether | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by Aarondb4
And it starts... It only gets worse from here, you have begun your journey down the road to leads to marriage or breakup, at least she was thoughtful enough to give you a specific timeline. And as to why a girl would say one thing at the beginning and then another later... If you choose the marriage route you better get used to that! Ay yes, because men never reevaluate and alter their initial position on anything........ |
2013-10-02 10:30 AM in reply to: msteiner |
Alpharetta, Georgia | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... I have a girlfriend who was in a serious relationship with a guy whose last name was Bean. She flat out told him she would never change her last name to Bean and it was a big reason they split up. She used the excuse that she was a Realtor and had an established brand with her name, which was partially true. But fast forward to today and she is married with a new last name - and still a Realtor with a strong brand. She used both last names for about a year then dropped her maiden name. Interesting how her stance changed when she met the right guy. Personally I would change my last name in a heartbeat. My last name isn't crucial to my personal brand or occupation, and I like the "family" perspective of having the same last names as one unit. To each their own, I have no issues with whatever others do though. |
2013-10-02 10:37 AM in reply to: lisac957 |
Pro 5761 Bartlett, TN | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Personally, I would not like it if my future wive said she did not want to take my last name. That kind of hurts the two becoming on thing IMO. It was never even discussed with us that I remember, and me taking her last name was never even thought about. |
2013-10-02 10:38 AM in reply to: trinnas |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Why would a girl... Originally posted by trinnas Originally posted by Aarondb4 Ay yes, because men never reevaluate and alter their initial position on anything........
And it starts... It only gets worse from here, you have begun your journey down the road to leads to marriage or breakup, at least she was thoughtful enough to give you a specific timeline. And as to why a girl would say one thing at the beginning and then another later... If you choose the marriage route you better get used to that! Sometimes it's fun to change positions |
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