This was a really slow swim for me. I seeded myself towards the back and right on the buoy line. I could barely hear the announcer. Finally the gun went off and we started swimming. From where I was it wasn't too rough. Didn't get beat up or anything. I tried to stay on the buoy line, but had a hard time sighting into the sun. I kept popping my head up to see, especially after the Rural bridge. I thought the turnaround buoys were right after the bridge, but they were quite aways. Swimming with my head up for that long tired me out. Towards the end of the swim I could only swim a few freestyle strokes before having to stop and breast stroke. It felt like it took forever. I was fully expecting to see 2 hrs on my watch when I got out, but was surprised to see 1:47. I was just glad to be out of the water. I got to the wetsuit strippers and heard "Go Tri Girls" and looked up and it was Kathy! I was so glad to see her! My suit was off so I jogged along the path, and saw my husband and in-laws along the fence and waved to them. "I'm so glad that's over!" I yelled to them.

Figure out how to sight better in the sun and not stop as much.

I jogged along the path, which was really long, and got my T1 bag. A volunteer came up to me and took my wetsuit and guided me into the change tent and helped me the entire time. I was really grateful to have someone there. I took my time just to make sure I didn't forget anything. I had a small hand towel in my bag, and the volunteer gave me a towel for my feet. My feet were covered in dirt and grass, so I took extra time to towel them off all the way. Got my gear on and hit the porta potty on the way out. Then I got my bike and headed out on the course.

Have a bigger towel in my bag, and maybe a bottle of water to wash my feet.

I was so glad to be on my bike. I decided to get my legs under me and try to take it easy for the first loop. Little did I know what was ahead. I settled into the aerobars and spun in an easy gear. The road was really rough in spots, and I was worried about getting a flat. Finally I ended up on the beeline and saw Tri Girls on the course along the way. I made it to the turnaround and was faced with a horrible headwind, and my speed dropped. This was not good. I pedaled along and finished the first loop and checked my time. I would have to hammer the second and third loops in order to make it. I bit my lip as I passed my family that was cheering, because I knew I was going to be close to the cutoffs.

At the start of the second loop I put the hammer down and pushed hard. I was going 20mph UP the hill on the beeline. I hit the turn in one hour (15 min faster than first loop) and headed into the wind. The wind was so strong, and the gusts almost pushed me off my bike. Getting to the special needs area was especially tough. I looked down to see my computer at 9mph. I pulled in to SN and got my bag to get my pretzles and handiwipes to wipe the salt off of my face. I got back on the bike and headed out. The wind was stripping all of my sunscreen and face oils off. At one point I pulled out my Vaseline from my bento box and put it on my lips, nose, and cheeks.

The wind was relentless. On a hill I normally went 20+ mph while coasting I was going 10 mph with peadaling hard. All I knew was that I had to start my 3rd loop by 3PM in order to make the first cutoff. But the wind was pushing me back. I pushed and pushed and finally got back into town. I got to the start of the 3rd loop at 2:45PM, with 15 minutes to spare. I stopped by the first aid station to use the bathroom, and pulled my bike off the rack when I was done and discovered my rear wheel locked up. I looked down and the skewer was out of the dropouts! I put the wheel back on and tightened the skewer. I think what happened was the lever of the skewer got pulled open on the bike rack when they were pulling bikes out. So I rode over 80 miles with an undone rear wheel. Thank goodness for lawyer tabs on dropouts! Everytime I think about the corners I railed through with the wheel like that gives me the willies. I avoided disaster on that one.

The 3rd loop was empty, except for the few of us struggling to make the cutoff. I pounded the pedals as much as I could and hit the turnaround 20 min before the 4:15PM cutoff. I knew it was going to be close to be back by 5:30PM.

The winds were really strong at this point, but I pushed harder than I ever have. It was the worst wind I have ever felt on the bike. I thought about everyone out there, and everyone that was watching and cheering for me. The Tri Girls came out to the course and cheered for me every few miles, which really helped. I just wanted to get off the beeline and back into town. I hoped and prayed for the wind to let up, even if just a little bit. But it wouldn't. I pushed and pushed and pushed. I passed 5 other people while pushing hard. The last 17 miles I went into sprint mode and stopped taking on my nutrition. My heartrate skyrocketed as I pushed, but even with all the pushing I was only going 11mph into the wind. My mind raced frantically as I did the math. Time was slipping through my fingers, but I was going to fight. The cops at each corner cheered as I came through, probably because I was grimacing as I pushed the pedals. I was topped out and couldn't push any harder. Each gust of wind stripped more and more from me, so I dug deeper and deeper into the energy reserves. I knew I was fighting against the wind, against time, against a DNF. I had to keep going. Finally I turned onto Rio Salado and checked my watch...10 minutes left. The transition area seemed so far away, but I slammed the pedals down as hard as I could. My arms were yanking on the aerobars as I diverted all of my energy and everything I had left into my legs. The wind blew hard but I kept pushing. I started yelling and screaming as I pedaled. It hurt so bad and I couldn't go any faster, but I had to keep going. I passed through an intersection and the cop lady there cheered for me as I yelled. I frantically pedaled, my mind focused on nothing but pedaling as hard as I could. I wanted to throw up from pushing so hard, but I coudn't stop. I figured I would puke on my jersey if I had to, but I was going to keep going. Just keep going...just keep going...I turned onto the Mill Avenue bridge and there were only minutes left. I couldn't let up now even though it hurt so bad. There was I guy just in front of me, so I worked on chasing him down. As I crossed the bridge I looked down at my watch...10:30 total race time, that meant it was 5:30PM. I didn't care, as I figured maybe my watch was wrong and off from the official race time. I rolled over the second bridge on the way back and the Tri Girls cheered for me. I stood in the pedals as I headed back into the wind on 3rd street. I made the next turn and the guy in front of me had pulled off to the curb, talking to some people. I kept going. I learned from racing motorcycles that you don't ever stop racing until you see either a red flag or checkered flag. I made the turn into the parking lot, and pushed the pedals hard all the way up to the transition area.

The volunteers yelled for me to slow down and dismount from the bike. The following conversation was surreal.

volunteer: "Ma'am...we can't let you continue."
other volunteer: "Don't let her cross the timing mat."
another volunteer: "Take her chip off."

I looked at my watch...5:36PM. I had missed the cutoff by 6 minutes. All I could do was nod and point at my left leg. They were going to have to take my chip off, as I wasn't going to do it. They took my bike, and one of the volunteers, a large guy, walked with me and held me up. "How are you feeling?" he asked. I looked over at my husband and shook my head and started crying. "I know...it's hard." The volunteer said as his voice shook and he choked back tears. "I'm going to take you over here." He led me to the med tent. "Do you need anything else?" he asked. I turned and hugged him and started crying uncontrollably. "It's ok...I know this is hard." He said as he cried a bit and held me. They sat me down on a lawn chair and I kept crying. Another volunteer came over and said he had racked my bike. "I do triathlons too and I know this is hard" he said. His name was Jason, but all I could do was nod as I bawled. "You did great Pirate Girl!" I looked up...who knew that was me? It was Stands With A Fist who was volunteering and had a BT tattoo on her wrist. All I could do was nod and cry.

They checked my blood pressure and my pulse which was now racing as I cried. They told me to breathe, but I couldn't. All I could do was cry. I thought about that scene in the '04 Kona race where Sarah missed her bike cutoff and started crying, and I knew how she felt. They let Zac (my husband) come over.

"I tried so hard!" I told him through the tears.
"I know you did...I'm proud of you!" he said.
"It wasn't the distance...it was the wind" I said.
"I know it was bad. But you did it! You finished the bike!" he said.

I took my shoes off. My feet were killing me, especially my big toes. I had blisters on the bottoms of my feet. I sat in the lawn chair, drinking Gatorade. They had offered me chicken broth, but I told them I was vegetarian. Kind of funny. I finally stopped crying and they brought my transition bags over. I was able to stand up, and walked over to my in-laws and gave them a hug and started crying again. We had to move out of the way of a truck backing up, so I wandered over and got my bike. I leaned on it as I wheeled it out of transition. It was tough because other people were picking up their bikes, and they were wearing their running shoes. They were finishers.

I walked in my bare feet with Zac up to the entrance to Tempe beach park. We turned and went to the right along the side walk, because I didn't want to see the finish chute. I couldn't look at it. We walked behind the bleachers and found a dead-end. I mustered all of my strength and climbed over the fence. I'd rather climb a fence than see the finish line at this point. I walked with Zac back to the hotel, leaning on his arm. A woman passed by going the opposite direction on the sidewalk. "How did you do?" she asked. "I didn't finish" I replied. I didn't wait for a response, and kept walking.

We got back to the hotel and I immediately put on clean clothes and sat down on the couch. I fell asleep for a little while, then got up to get a quick shower. I discovered how sunburned and windburned I was. I got into my jammies and wrapped myself in a blanket. I was freezing! Some of the Tri Girls called to see how I was doing and to see if I was going to go back out and cheer on the course. I told them I was staying put for the rest of the night, as I had no strength left. Looking back, I'm not sure how far I would have gotten on the run. I had sprinted for so long and not taken in any nutrition that last 20 or so miles that my body probably woudl've been in a really bad state. Still, it would've been nice to at least have the opportunity.

It was hard being in the hotel last night and this morning, hearing everyone in the hallway talk about the race and congratulating each other. Right now it feels like everyone finished but me. I wish I could be like them and be happy and be a finisher. But I'm not.

I never pictured this happening. All I could visualize the whole time thinking about the race was running down the finishers chute and hearing "You are an Ironman!" But it didn't happen. I tried my hardest and left it all out there on the course.

Some positives:
I have less recovery that my body will need to do.
I learned what to change for next year.
I know what to change and do for a training plan next time.
I can consider this to be a dress rehersal for next year's IMAZ.

I just registered for IMAZ 2008. I'll give this another whirl!


The volunteers were really great. They helped me throughout the day, and I can't believe they stayed out there all day in the wind. It had to be hard for them.