Ok, first course was Pre-op. Check in and wait. Yes, I figured out why they had these pink phones with 2 receivers at the receptionists' desk. Brain still functioned. check.

Then came the parade of nurses and other seeming official people to take vitals, discuss procedure, the works.

First up - IV. In all seriousness, that was the worst part of the day. Don't get me wrong, I've been punctured plenty of times. I'm no stranger to needles. I give blood all the time (I hold a record for fastest time at my last donation), but this lady... not so good at that job. I'm pretty sure I could have done better. Nonetheless, it went in and got all taped up securely, after repeating to her at least 3 times that maybe it should go on the non-operative hand. I was starting to get worried. Where is that sharpie??? "THIS ARM"

And then the person I most wanted to see... the anesthesiologist. She told me how I would be introduced to the OR and given a seemingly fantastic cocktail of medications. She explained the drugs that disassoiciated my brain from the surgery events. I liked the sound of those and asked for extra. Everything was fine, ok I was actually quite nervous, and then she said something that made my eyes bug out.... yes, they were going to put a tube down my throat. Yikes! Visions of ER went through my head. You know the scene, the not very skilled want to be doctors cramming a tube down a seizuring patient's throat. Oh boy. Apparently they needed me propped up at an angle to do the procedure which doesn't work so well with keeping an open airway... alas, the tube.

So I requested that she just wake me up next week.

Then came the surgeon. He has no sense of humor. Well, mostly. I decided that was a good thing though. FOCUS. I asked him if I could see the plates beforehand and he said no, there were too many. huh? I guess they have a plethora (love that word) of them and they try them on for size. They have lefts and rights, sometimes use the opposite and flip it over, just whatever fits the absolute best. He assured me they were titanium and were powder blue in color. nice. He also had a choice of screws, to be determined during surgery. Locking screws or some other kind. I trusted him to make the right choice ;) THEN we talked pictures. I wanted to give him my camera to take a few shots... he was resistant and not sure I would get my camera back. So, after some prodding (not probing) he agreed to use his camera phone to take some for me. SWEET.


Request that the janitorial staff NOT wear scrubs. Could make someone confused. Are you here to cut me open? No? Oh, just take out the garbage... right.

Change out of clothes into the "gown." I did pretty well here on my own. Only required assistance with the ties in the back of course. :) I got to wear those sweet ass non-skid socks. YES!

Keep the curtain open so all could see? nah... no pain meds at that point. Had my wits about me.

Surgery. This was it. They drove me into the OR in the chair and I got to mount the table on my own. Holy intimidating room! Seriously, this is exactly what happened: I stepped up on a stool to reach the table, one of the nurses opened the back of my gown, I layed down in just the right spot, and then I was out. As long as it took you to read this, they put me out. No countdown, nothing. Boom.

So, the story as told after surgery:

Doc (his name is Dr. Mann) said the surgery went exactly as planned, completely textbook, no problems at all. Could NOT have gone better. He said it only took him 40 minutes. And get this... he said that was his fastest time. Thats right! A new PR folks! Like I expected anything different. And the resident said the doc had plenty of time to take pics. YES!

Can't think of anything really. Maybe look around the OR and inspect the equipment, you know. oooo, check out the plates. THAT is what I should have done....

Ok, so putting clothes back on was a little difficult. Needed assistance. Heh. So, as I took the gown down to put shirt on, I looked down in my drugged haze at my chest because it felt like something was on it. And there, just above my breast but below my shoulder was something stuck to me. This is the picture: I guess I was staring at it for awhile and touching it when my ex said "That is not a nipple, STOP playing with it!" heh.



Couldn't go much faster here. I think it was all good.

Ok, recovery time at the hospital. Well, I remember waking up in the middle of a dream. Reality wasn't near as good. But I woke up, so I still get my Tivo (sorry Blue). I remember it hurting pretty good. I didn't seem to have any weird side-effects from the anesthesia, just felt some pain. Scale? about 7.5. Nurse couldn't get it down with anything she was using in the IV, so she gave me a hit of morphine. Damn my brain. So this is me, folks: All I remember from before op was that they didn't like to use morphine for pain control because it is harder to monitor and it can cause some patients to breathe tooo slowly. So she gives it to me, and instead of being relieved and sleeping, I was trying to stay awake because everytime I would slip away... I would hear the monitor behind me start to beep because my oxygen stats would fall. I couldn't just sleep and let them deal with it, I made myself stay semi-conscious and breathe. I'm so weird.

Anyway.. my mouth was way dry and my lips were swollen from the tube, or from someone punching me out, not sure exactly which. My pain went down, I was breathing well, I got dressed and was discharged.

Enjoy the morphine and SLEEP.

Went home and got directly on the couch. Lined up the meds for the night, set my alarms so I could wake up and take them, talked to a few friends to let them know I survived.

Wasn't hungry, but before I went to bed I had a couple spoonfuls of heavenly BT. Seriously, I made noises when I ate it. Just about orgasmic. Went to bed. :)


I was pretty damn fast....


For my first surgery.. I would say it went well. Since then, I have upped my pain dosage and I have yet to look at my wound. There is some numbness in the front shoulder area, but not a lot, so far so good. Pictures will be posted as soon as I track them down from the doc!

Thanks to everyone who sent good thoughts. I was actuall scared out of my mind, and to those who calmed me down, thank you so much. Blue748, tbatt, mmbentonfamily, you are the best.